Henry 3000 @Henry_3000
Bad but not evil. I asked @JacCarly and she said, YES. 💍 twitter.com/search?f=tweet… L'esprit de l'escalier Joined February 2012-
Tweets321K
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Followers31K
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Following12K
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Likes498K
City: You can no longer make left turns here. Driver: Why? City: Because we want to cause more traffic. Driver: Ok, well I'm just going to make illegal left turns then. City: That's fine.
Tattoo artist weirded out by request of his portrait on my shoulder.
For security purposes, please yell your credit card number into the phone
Making the case that a criminal statute does not apply to me unless it mentions me by name.
life would be so much cooler if scary movie music played right before shit goes down
Sometimes I remember something from the past and it's jarring, like how you could order a spaghetti bucket from Little Caesars.
That new song about navigation is already at the top of the charts but seriously, how maps is it to watch as "cartographer" uses its own definition compass for finding the employment history section of a resume
I wasn't paid to educate you people, so I am finished explaining punctuation. Go create chaos elsewhere.
James and the Astonished Trout
This podcast is brought to you by another podcast, a website that's probably a scam and the current agenda.
me, sitting in my recliner drinking a can of rc cola: …& that’s when i realized all the things i think of must come from thought molecules in my mindhead. the director of the nature documentary to the camera person: {whispering excitedly} are you getting all this?
WHAT IF PEOPLE STARTED EVOLVING LIKE BEES AND INSTEAD OF TALKING WE HAD TO DANCE
window shopping is a fun pastime unless you live across a baseball field
SORRY I CAN’T RELATE TO “BEING NORMAL” I GREW UP INSIDE AN ACTIVE VOLCANO
It was cool to meet Steven Seagal in 1994. Unfortunately his evil ponytail stalked me for years later.
Hey New Orleans (I am pronouncing the name correctly, as I type it), I'm not sure anybody knows but I am doing a show tonight at the Big Couch at 9pm. Come! Or I will be forced to go to a bar and join a jazz band.
The most NJ thing about my childhood was having to run the mile for the "presidential fitness test," and our gym teacher driving alongside us in his red Trans Am with the t-tops out, blasting hair metal and screaming at us to run faster
I think I made a real impression on the cashier at Trader Joe's when she told me my salad cost $3.99 and I waved my hand dismissively and said, "That's nothing to me!"
After I told my friend I didn’t buy his story about a talking dog in a bar he tried to pass it off as a “joke.” Pathetic.
A vampire can’t enter your home without being invited. But that doesn’t apply to sheds. (One of those bloodsucking pricks stole my weedwacker last week.)
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2
Salty MacTavish 🇺�.. @SaltyMacTavish
13K Followers 9K Following We hardly talk about clams anymore and frankly I’m steamed about it https://t.co/MEeOiowPL2
The B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 13K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, Inferno
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct
Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
13K Followers 1K Following The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, The Atlantic, Harper's, Rolling Stone. I've read some of these magazines.
Grant Tanaka: Honky @GrantTanaka
37K Followers 5K Following Anatomically correct. For the most part.
dire wolf @ADDiane
29K Followers 2K Following I guess 40 more years is FINE 😤 https://t.co/tvbIjt1kXf
Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric
27K Followers 9K Following Gen X Superhero. Old people jokes for my old people followers. 90’s Kid Alumni. #cheeseburgers
The Ciscokidder @TheCiscoKidder
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Craving @calluptome
15K Followers 5K Following wifey @JaymianaJones & I have seen it all used to travel now wants to hide ❤️horror films https://t.co/j1tRiOtekK
Marcmywords @Marcmywords2
55K Followers 50K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation. https://t.co/92vEozoAvo
Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
56K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔
Lisa Adrian @JohnDav63784654
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IrisClarke @qw2k9sy1WfmI13
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Emili Sophie @AnthonyPor79412
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Jaded Hearts 💋 @RouxJanis
2K Followers 3K Following ♐💋☮️ 🇿🇦Single mom. Believer in love & all its magic 💖 Coffee drinker. Life is hard. It's harder if you’re stupid! #letsgrowtogether 🚫NO PORN🚫
iyka9c5ol3cao @2qbovcvw67l4
6 Followers 399 Following The team offers short-term investments in cryptocurrencies. With a rigorous plan, you can earn between $500 and $5,000. Click to join TG: https://t.co/H1RMLxpL3I
Monica @salimhassansada
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Toofesea @toofesea18513
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'THE Fabulous' Mickie.. @MickieMarieLove
700 Followers 885 Following Post-British, Demi-Fluid, Polyamorus, Fabulous Anarchist Queer. Member TST 😈, Post Hot Topic Riot🏴☠️ Xrrl. Head Up, Horns High 🤘 (He/She/They) 💖🫂
💚 @Bam065661685199
4 Followers 92 Following
Hallie_Jasmine~Dyesi @napkinsjuliana
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Lisa @AdrinLaven87203
131 Followers 550 Following Set a goal,and your mind will have no choice but to achieve it
James L H Bartlett @jameslhbartlett
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Maria Garcia @ga58896921
3K Followers 6K Following 🥰😍I sell my nudes and videos 💕🫶dm me let have some fun and also into hookup 👅👅 dm me and ask for my price list😊❤️
Brittany price @linda_mist2204
324 Followers 4K Following I’m a powerball winner of $390.7m,I’m using this to the society by giving out $5000 each to my first 2k followers & poor/needy
Deborah___2003 @Deborah__200
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John jockeying @jcyack269
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Hanahh Mathew @HanahhMath99929
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59K Followers 41K Following 🇧🇩 Environment and Social Justice Activist based in Planet Earth. #Dhaka #Bangladesh
Big💪Frank❤️ @FrankBradf47011
26 Followers 210 Following Yo! DM for your deals on wheels 🚘😁 Come meet me in Mitchell Mazda😎
VARRIANT MODE @Ash_ShanQity
1K Followers 6K Following Through authentic narrations, we have the power to change things
Zenxith @imzenxith
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Sam @333666bbb
7K Followers 6K Following A quiet man with the loudest fucking mind. 2nd account @3366bb
Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilarious
perpetually lost @lostvalley0
2K Followers 3K Following fondling my pains and in relationship with words and my mirror soul https://t.co/pXWlE7Eqsz
Joy Billy @billy385410
195 Followers 643 Following smile have fun enjoy and stay on your p’s peace ☮️ priorities prayer passion
kayum ali @KayumAli52544
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Lauren Porter @LaurenPorter89
1K Followers 2K Following Investment management company 💼Entrepreneur| Business Coach| 📊HelpingOnlineTraders| 📄Trading Success| 💵Payouts Guaranteed 100% 📩Dm to Get started
Alice Sandra @ann_johnso52620
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Lusasi @Lusasi999471
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Marigold @Marigol09632886
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_Freeandeasy_ @Freeandeas26452
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Sandrarice @Sandrarice4043
850 Followers 3K Following I am looking for a man who will love me and be there for me anytime and I will also do the same
Someone @Someone70537168
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CanadianLitChick🇨�.. @ConnieLukey
26K Followers 23K Following I am Pavlov's Hashtag dog. Mother of boys, passionate reader, writer, funny fitness fanatic, CPA. Happily married and older than dirt.
CryptoCanvasCryptic @cryptic_cr12599
1K Followers 3K Following Blockchain speaks louder than words, forging trust and reshaping the landscape of finance.
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2
Salty MacTavish 🇺�.. @SaltyMacTavish
13K Followers 9K Following We hardly talk about clams anymore and frankly I’m steamed about it https://t.co/MEeOiowPL2
The B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 13K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, Inferno
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct
Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
13K Followers 1K Following The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, The Atlantic, Harper's, Rolling Stone. I've read some of these magazines.
Grant Tanaka: Honky @GrantTanaka
37K Followers 5K Following Anatomically correct. For the most part.
dire wolf @ADDiane
29K Followers 2K Following I guess 40 more years is FINE 😤 https://t.co/tvbIjt1kXf
Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric
27K Followers 9K Following Gen X Superhero. Old people jokes for my old people followers. 90’s Kid Alumni. #cheeseburgers
The Ciscokidder @TheCiscoKidder
36K Followers 12K Following 99% jokes, 100% Stay home dad, atheist, BLM, feminist, pro LGBTQ+ and left af. https://t.co/HpCbHaktUa
Craving @calluptome
15K Followers 5K Following wifey @JaymianaJones & I have seen it all used to travel now wants to hide ❤️horror films https://t.co/j1tRiOtekK
Marcmywords @Marcmywords2
55K Followers 50K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation. https://t.co/92vEozoAvo
Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
56K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔
Christina Buttons @buttonslives
65K Followers 1K Following classical liberal | atheist | Asperger’s | independent journalist on gender medicine | gmail: buttonslives
Philosophalopod @Philosophalopod
6K Followers 2K Following Worship of the Cephalogods. #MicroFiction. https://t.co/0lDMWK0Pd7 https://t.co/Idr7L5aUb5 https://t.co/RD2n0xJdgj
RANDOM.ORG @RandomOrg
6K Followers 19 Following True random number service, based on atmospheric noise.
Zenxith @imzenxith
9K Followers 9K Following Independent D.I.Y. lofi jangle pop/indie pop musician, Pre Order new album ‘Cooling Tower’ below!
Elon Musk @elonmusk
181.7M Followers 585 Following
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Kyle Kemper Ж @kylekemper
30K Followers 5K Following The golden age is dawning ☀️ | Loving Husband & Father of | Do Only Good Everyday | #TheRemedyIsKennedy
Sam @333666bbb
7K Followers 6K Following A quiet man with the loudest fucking mind. 2nd account @3366bb
conspiracybot @conspiracyb0t
396K Followers 24 Following Conspiracies, The NWO, Secret Societies, Truth, Freedom. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Business inquiries: [email protected]
CanadianLitChick🇨�.. @ConnieLukey
26K Followers 23K Following I am Pavlov's Hashtag dog. Mother of boys, passionate reader, writer, funny fitness fanatic, CPA. Happily married and older than dirt.
Dax (Non-State Actor).. @RedBlackGuard
4K Followers 1K Following Vengeance for Nex - Indigenous Sovereigntist - Matriarchist - Nisga'a Nation/Ts'msyen - Pansexual Terror Trooper @anarchonetvi 𒀭 he/him
Hard Celeb Pics @HardCelebPics
273 Followers 20 Following create your own here: https://t.co/XBN54AoSan
Crunk @Ol_Monk
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Rakibul Hasan @rakib2237
52K Followers 52K Following Ready to play a dynamic role in your well-known organization using my knowledge and experience.
artcollector 🏛 @artcolllector
2K Followers 272 Following pfp: Warhol and me August 1977 - Égyptologue / Assyriologue (PhD Uni, 1st) 🤪☮️☢️☮️🤪 I am a perpetual paradox. Family first.
Brendan O'Rourke @brendano74
231 Followers 1K Following Interim caretaker of The National Paperclip Museum
Skeptic Research Cent.. @SkepResCenter
4K Followers 214 Following A small team of non-partisan social scientists bringing research and data to discussions about controversial issues ([email protected])
Michael Shermer @michaelshermer
237K Followers 241 Following Publisher Skeptic Magazine | Host The Michael Shermer Show | Skeptic columnist: https://t.co/4hVMgni7I7 | NEW BOOK Conspiracy: https://t.co/E6IJLqcC9d
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3.0M Followers 1K Following Основатель Фонда борьбы с коррупцией, лидер партии Россия Будущего.
Luke Zaleski @ZaleskiLuke
127K Followers 2K Following Legal Affairs Editor, Condé Nast, longtime/former Research Director @GQMagazine Head of fact-checking ‘The Resistance’ #truthhurts
George Papadopoulos @GeorgePapa19
1.2M Followers 14K Following Best selling author of, “DEEP STATE TARGET: How I got caught in the crosshairs of the plot to bring down President Trump” order👇
Emir Han @RealEmirHan
197K Followers 4K Following Movie discussions at its best. A film addict. In love with cinema.
Into The Weird @IntoWeird
11K Followers 5K Following Sinking into the weird since 2018. Lover of comics, cult cinema, fear fiction, sci-fi art, mythology & twisted history. Alternate a/c @darklongbox
Michael Daly @MichaelDaly64
2K Followers 1K Following Music, books, Celtic FC Superstar in your own private movie I wanted just a minor part But I'm no fool I know you're cool I never really wanted your heart...
Nate Armbruster @natecomedy
3K Followers 2K Following I like to write jokes. And tell those jokes to audiences in the form of stand-up comedy.
Joanne Gruettner @TroxasTraxx
2K Followers 5K Following 🌈Published #Writer #Poet #Photographer + #Artist #Designer #DIYer | #Gamer | #RescuePet Mama | Amateur #Gearhead & #SpecialFX Make-up |🎥🎶📚& #Paranormal 💗er
Zippy @ZellaQuixote
11K Followers 9K Following counter-extremism⚜fraud detection⚜️ government accountability⚜justice ⚜️security⚜️social psychology ⚜️denominators matter ⚜️OSInt ⚜SoulJazz ⚜️ @trutherbotprop
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Sana Saeed @SanaSaeed
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Ken Elijah @da_fficial
27 Followers 62 Following I'm a pro crypto enthusiast & forex trader, successful investor 8 years experience & expert. Explorer 🐟 Project Manager 🏠 I'm all about business! Fisherman
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34K Followers 450 Following #quirky #car & #automotive #design, history & #images https://t.co/9x0D1mhCFJ #Cars #wheels #odd. Diagonally parked in a parallel universe 🚗🏎️🚓
Fantasy Dads @the_fantasy_dad
3K Followers 4K Following Trent Santos’ fantasy musings. Writer for #SpotlightSportsGroup. Here to celebrate dad bods, fantasy football and sports betting everywhere. ✍️👨🏽🏈🎰
Hana Adoudi - Copywri.. @Hanacopywriting
12 Followers 38 Following Bienvenue dans mon monde d'expressions créatives ✨ J'aide votre marque à augmenter ses ventes grâce à la narration .📈✍️ Lien vers mon Portfolio ⤵️
Jasmine Crockett's Vi.. @ChipHarbour
5K Followers 6K Following Don't lose your passion. Don't lose your sense of wonder. Work at maintaining your humanity.
Mid Castiza of the Da.. @DailyCastiza
23K Followers 120 Following Posting Mid Castizas for your enjoymentCity: You can no longer make left turns here. Driver: Why? City: Because we want to cause more traffic. Driver: Ok, well I'm just going to make illegal left turns then. City: That's fine.
Tattoo artist weirded out by request of his portrait on my shoulder.
For security purposes, please yell your credit card number into the phone
Making the case that a criminal statute does not apply to me unless it mentions me by name.
life would be so much cooler if scary movie music played right before shit goes down
Sometimes I remember something from the past and it's jarring, like how you could order a spaghetti bucket from Little Caesars.
That new song about navigation is already at the top of the charts but seriously, how maps is it to watch as "cartographer" uses its own definition compass for finding the employment history section of a resume
I wasn't paid to educate you people, so I am finished explaining punctuation. Go create chaos elsewhere.
This podcast is brought to you by another podcast, a website that's probably a scam and the current agenda.
me, sitting in my recliner drinking a can of rc cola: …& that’s when i realized all the things i think of must come from thought molecules in my mindhead. the director of the nature documentary to the camera person: {whispering excitedly} are you getting all this?
WHAT IF PEOPLE STARTED EVOLVING LIKE BEES AND INSTEAD OF TALKING WE HAD TO DANCE
window shopping is a fun pastime unless you live across a baseball field
SORRY I CAN’T RELATE TO “BEING NORMAL” I GREW UP INSIDE AN ACTIVE VOLCANO
It was cool to meet Steven Seagal in 1994. Unfortunately his evil ponytail stalked me for years later.
Hey New Orleans (I am pronouncing the name correctly, as I type it), I'm not sure anybody knows but I am doing a show tonight at the Big Couch at 9pm. Come! Or I will be forced to go to a bar and join a jazz band.
i wish i was there! but maybe you can be?
Hey New Orleans (I am pronouncing the name correctly, as I type it), I'm not sure anybody knows but I am doing a show tonight at the Big Couch at 9pm. Come! Or I will be forced to go to a bar and join a jazz band.
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