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Tweets150K
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Followers19K
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Following8K
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Likes146K
I bet there were plenty of days that Ms. Frizzle’s class just wanted to go to the zoo.
*gets a little treat* (new jar of fiber gummies)
don’t complain when you are fined for farting, it’s harming the environment
Cringe so hard I dropped a 3rd testicle
Taylor Swift's new album is not called 'The Sadness Express'. I know that now.
Sure I’ll go to your Ayahuasca retreat. Will there be Doritos?
employer: what are your weaknesses me: crab rangoon
i should be napping on your ballsack rn
the chokehold a dead zoo gorilla had on an entire generation should be studied
i think it should be spelled "condumb"
I eat like an 11 year-old Hobbit going to the electric chair
any site can be a dating site if you use it incorrectly
Well, well, well.. if it isn’t me wanting the absolute best for you.
When I die and my life flashes before my eyes, I hope it skips all the times I tried and failed to parallel park.
I don’t want to know your horoscope. I want to know your go to karaoke song
The early bird gets the breakfast meatballs
You’re free, baby. Fly high.
i’m not running from the past but i can’t look back or it might kill me
Village Person @SvnSxty
31K Followers 4K Following If you support ethnic cleansing, kindly fuck off 😊 Find me and follow me @SvnSxty on all platforms. my tweets ⤵️Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric
27K Followers 9K Following Gen X Superhero. Old people jokes for my old people followers. 90’s Kid Alumni. #cheeseburgersBoyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBVPieGuy @ilovepie84
30K Followers 6K Following My wife works two jobs so that I can chase my dream of being in a boy band. https://t.co/JhWCxIXYbKnice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonzBenny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrctStabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmoThe B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 13K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, InfernoMatty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve
25K Followers 10K Following you've been smooching with everybody Blocked by https://t.co/SziO9kNFRO https://t.co/DaU98OFAMvThe Ciscokidder @TheCiscoKidder
36K Followers 12K Following 99% jokes, 100% Stay home dad, atheist, BLM, feminist, pro LGBTQ+ and left af. https://t.co/HpCbHaktUaADHDean @ADHDeanASL
23K Followers 5K Following BLACK LIVES MATTER. Husband, dad, friend. Ally. ASL Interpreter. Doofus. Midvale School for the Gifted alum. Mastodon: [email protected]Mad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
23K Followers 4K Following sometimes funny, full of cheese, chocolate and unpopular opinions; don’t DM please https://t.co/IdtiajUsndHelleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
56K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔President Warren G. H.. @PopeAwesomeXIII
13K Followers 2K Following Commercially Inviable. ✌️ 29th US President (1921-1923) 🧐 Tip jar! https://t.co/Igf16XkzWv ❤ He/Him 👍 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏴☠️ ❤️ See pinned for migration infoJack Laidlaw @laidlawjw
151 Followers 284 FollowingTamiami 🦇🪦 @sirius_lee_me
270 Followers 268 Following Recent housewife. Mama bear. I design book covers as a hobby. Not a pro, won't DM you. Married to the love of my life @thebrazenbeard 15 yrs!Scott @Havenlust
299K Followers 185K Following LumenTopia Arte • Enmarcación • Fotografía para decorar tus ambientes Un espacio para fotógrafos, artistas digitales /Friend of @FundacionRevida @LorenaMHurtadoSmeshe @Smeshe223872
3 Followers 227 FollowingMonkey Cult Coffee Co.. @CoffeeCultlife
1K Followers 1K Following Boozy inspired artisanal coffees!!! Check out all of our flavors and sign up on our website to get 10% off!!! Evolve your #coffee game and #JoinTheCultEsther John @esther_joh31217
6 Followers 152 Followingjenna talia @jennafrmthebloq
9 Followers 130 FollowingDawnMorley @ui4mUu35r40qm18
3 Followers 281 FollowingJohnny @Jaytek75
89 Followers 337 Following The only place I wanna go, Is anywhere there's people I don't know… Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 🎧girl face @immediatleynow
67 Followers 513 Following 🩷🐱 #SAGAFTRA @WILDNONSENSEINC “Melissa is an intelligent bisexual-lesbian” - GeorgeSumon Mia @SumonMi65235982
950 Followers 4K Following I am proud because I am Muslim I love my Allah and I love Profet hazrat Mohammedﷺ and I love my familymkay @mk489d
2K Followers 2K FollowingSarah Everett @goddammitsarah
11K Followers 2K Following digital sorceress ⚡ does anyone know how to curse a real swordEmili Sophie @AnthonyPor79412
413 Followers 5K Following My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitudeDana @Dana_D_X
3K Followers 2K Following Just a 40ish year old bored housewife. I'm usually funny and sometimes hot. Ask about my other page 😈Ally 🖤 @mrsmodify
82 Followers 480 Following Mama of 2; Director of Special Education; Starting over peacefullyOCCAM STROM @Stromquistaus
350 Followers 321 Following too close for comfort, too far away to be any use at allElisha Pius @PiusElisha30943
88 Followers 849 FollowingAkok Mamer Akok @AkokMamer71467
14 Followers 175 FollowingAnastasia @elma0585
1K Followers 2K Following Whatever you do, do with your might; Things done by halves are never done right.Sophia Miller @SophiaMill13837
2 Followers 52 Followingprettyisabella @prettyisab86931
42 Followers 815 FollowingMelissa (M²) @ToolGirl18
371 Followers 625 Following Just trying to get through each day. ♑🐐✌️💗🪬🌜 Because some of y'all can't behave, no DMsKneeling Woman @KneelingWoman
3K Followers 2K Following Refined debauchery and thoughtful eroticism with smatterings of sass. Statuesque sapiosexual exploring her role as a strong and submissive woman. ~ 21+, NSFW ~Hallie_Jasmine~Dyesi @napkinsjuliana
1K Followers 8K Following Being single doesn't mean I'm lonely, it means I'm fierce., Making memories as a single girl and enjoying every adventure.💕💗❤️Gwen @Gwen1138594372
6 Followers 98 FollowingMAJNOOooo @smj375
58 Followers 771 Following Undoubtedly, love is a difficult phase to realize, but those who realize this mercy of nature can find coins both in this world and in the hereafter.MM Surplus and More @MMSurplusMore
1K Followers 7K Following Wholesale/Liquidation Sales, Surplus/Damaged Stock, Garage/Yard Sales, Flea Markets, Auctions, Storage Units, Move Outs. -- REDS -- BENGALS -- UC -- Fan --Paramedic Firefighter @ParamedicVet
2K Followers 5K Following US Army Combat Medic (91B2P) Paramedic/Firefighter (Ret.) ☞GoldCorp☜ 1st ABNDIV Sometimes I teach and write. History, Guns, Puns, Memes, & Snark.Brian Bodor @Bodog96
699 Followers 4K Following Gonna tell you how much I 💕 you. Though you think you already know. Gonna SHOW you how much I 💕 you. THEN you will finally know.CHK @2BD4U2
67 Followers 175 FollowingProverbsJones @proverbs_jones
126 Followers 202 FollowingLisa kitson @lisa6829
80 Followers 3K Following I meant to say on my profile ! (I joined twitter in 2010 and my birth age which I don’t mind disclosing it ,27-10-1970Kelsey Turner @kelseybrenae
2 Followers 154 Following🌸 Roxanne is screa.. @roxannadanna831
207 Followers 1K Following 𓅓 Call me Rox. 🔞 Cthonic woman. God's Least Favorite. Fueled by spite & animal crackers. Native Brooklynite stuck Upstate, please send help and bagels.🥯Miles Williams @MilesWi43388564
151 Followers 799 Followingnavygal 👅💋#Navy @vet_ADWalker
2K Followers 5K Following 🤔Dirty-Nerdy-Pervy wannabe author #EXGOP #Mom #LGBTQ 😜I 💙 #memesGLAMglitterROCK @rock_glitter
2K Followers 4K Following Your daily source for 70s GLAM/GLiTTER ROCK!With a hint of Bubblegum,Prog,Metal,Punk,Psych !Livingthelufcdream @lufcgal1001
360 Followers 643 Following know your worth and don’t accept anything less🙃Village Person @SvnSxty
31K Followers 4K Following If you support ethnic cleansing, kindly fuck off 😊 Find me and follow me @SvnSxty on all platforms. my tweets ⤵️Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric
27K Followers 9K Following Gen X Superhero. Old people jokes for my old people followers. 90’s Kid Alumni. #cheeseburgersBoyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBVPieGuy @ilovepie84
30K Followers 6K Following My wife works two jobs so that I can chase my dream of being in a boy band. https://t.co/JhWCxIXYbKnice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonzBenny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrctStabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmoThe B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 13K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, InfernoMatty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve
25K Followers 10K Following you've been smooching with everybody Blocked by https://t.co/SziO9kNFRO https://t.co/DaU98OFAMvThe Ciscokidder @TheCiscoKidder
36K Followers 12K Following 99% jokes, 100% Stay home dad, atheist, BLM, feminist, pro LGBTQ+ and left af. https://t.co/HpCbHaktUaADHDean @ADHDeanASL
23K Followers 5K Following BLACK LIVES MATTER. Husband, dad, friend. Ally. ASL Interpreter. Doofus. Midvale School for the Gifted alum. Mastodon: [email protected]Mad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
23K Followers 4K Following sometimes funny, full of cheese, chocolate and unpopular opinions; don’t DM please https://t.co/IdtiajUsndHelleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
56K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔President Warren G. H.. @PopeAwesomeXIII
13K Followers 2K Following Commercially Inviable. ✌️ 29th US President (1921-1923) 🧐 Tip jar! https://t.co/Igf16XkzWv ❤ He/Him 👍 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏴☠️ ❤️ See pinned for migration infoSarah Everett @goddammitsarah
11K Followers 2K Following digital sorceress ⚡ does anyone know how to curse a real swordAlly 🖤 @mrsmodify
82 Followers 480 Following Mama of 2; Director of Special Education; Starting over peacefullyDana @Dana_D_X
3K Followers 2K Following Just a 40ish year old bored housewife. I'm usually funny and sometimes hot. Ask about my other page 😈Kneeling Woman @KneelingWoman
3K Followers 2K Following Refined debauchery and thoughtful eroticism with smatterings of sass. Statuesque sapiosexual exploring her role as a strong and submissive woman. ~ 21+, NSFW ~Michelle McLellan @MichelleMclel10
2K Followers 2K Following Omnivertly Namgrige...🚁🌅🏂 Classified/Chryllica🤣🤷♀️🤪🤐👻Kayley Connor @Kayleyconnor
34 Followers 224 Followingsid @viperdemie
70K Followers 144 Following second account for @viperous ❤️🔥 i love cinnamoroll and my pookie and zyns and gamblingThe Sopranos Guy™ @uncle_june
63K Followers 3K Following The Sopranos™ memes. Cemetery Dogs. I'm boss, you forget. Make my nephew an egg.jennesaisquoi 𓆩♡.. @jennesaisquoi__
364 Followers 2K Following ❥ My heart breaks open again & again to remind me that I am love ❥Sandra @Leigh24Sandra
727 Followers 680 Following Happily divorced. Skeptical, discerning, never bitter. Two fab sons & a fur baby. Brightest days ahead 🌞KingLiNg @locallyhatedlen
241 Followers 43 Following i thought i knew u, hold on wait bih who u 🤧 20 yr old 🦋 • spread love n thanks • upcoming underground A&R 🤍 🎵Jenji @Jenjiy0
2K Followers 1K Following Subpar mage on hiatus, amateur orchidist, animal lover (catsarebis), INFJ, ♒️, Ravenclaw🐦⬛DMs CLOSED. Not looking for anything other than my sanity.mentally unstable red.. @BiggRatBastard
13K Followers 2K Following BTE ///. bisexual, bipolar, and a bitch ///. cashapp: $briiash07Becky, Baroness of Bu.. @BeckyBunzy
22K Followers 2K Following Human Being. She/Her. Lover of critters. I like to make the funny. Not a therapist, so I’ll probably make it worse. Not your mommy, not your baby either.ʜᴇʟʟᴀᴋɪᴛ�.. @Celestephase
12K Followers 8K Following sith-y heathen. frog enthusiast. slut for science. feminist bitch. TERFs fuck off. she/her🩷💜💙🌜cold little heart.. @cold_lil_heartt
16K Followers 921 Following .small town girl. cowboy killer. moonaholic. coffee addict. word, wine, whiskey lover. 🖤 music and rain.Kalena Mackiewicz @kalesnails
110 Followers 718 Following Vancouver Cartoonist and Illustrator for Discorder Magazine @citrradio Artist.ella (tiktok: @blonde.. @blondehotcoffee
2K Followers 2K Following i only tweet when i’m high or manicLindsey Maria Lowe @WrenRoseBeauty
1K Followers 2K Following Owner of The Wren & Rose Beauty Collection🐦🥀 Get info here: https://t.co/hYNJkIzIMQ FB & IG: @WrenRoseBeautyAndi @smiles_and_nods
415 Followers 243 Following Andi 2.0 Lost everyone during my Twitter sabbatical. please follow again.Vivienne in Bloom @vivienne_blooms
596 Followers 1K Following Flowering sweetly. Savoring discreetly. Words are mine. Inspiration’s divine.George Takei @GeorgeTakei
3.3M Followers 1K Following I am a parody of myself, if anyone wonders if this is really me.Angel @AngelViolet23
954 Followers 237 Following Singer/Songwriter. Bringing you a unique voice and sound. Check it out below 😇👇👇👇Disheveled Mom @wittysnuggles
5K Followers 6K Following Not my real name. 40s toddler mom. Unapologetically blunt relationship therapist. Featured on @MSNBC @CNN @FoxNews @SternShow @NYPostCali @calidaysay
3K Followers 2K Following Blessed are the curious, for they shall have adventures. 🏝⚓️✈️☀️ Rarely check my DM’s. Happily taken. 🩷Jane @1MissWrite
290 Followers 202 Following Married 48f, resident mischief maker, notorious flirt, sub leaning switch. 18+. MDNI.kristypeee♥️♥�.. @kristy_pullard
1K Followers 2K Following I'm easy going, loving, caring. Love don’t cost a thing. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. ♥️♥️♥️🤗🤗🤗😍😍😍😮😮🌌kristina 🌌 @inurnightdress
6K Followers 5K Following Alex Turner's favorite mistress/Samuel L Jackson of moms/B's snotty little muse https://t.co/FXGDC5Fus0Intrusive Thot @zoeelizabethjpg
584 Followers 927 Following She/her, movie enjoyer, career raver, chaotic bisexual, habitual line stepperAnxious self-hating m.. @lindsaynaegle
205 Followers 2K Following Yeah it's me. Hiding for a while (escaping my creditors). Podcasts, games, etc.Thickney Spears @Thorny_Mama
1K Followers 1K Following Libra. Sinner. Saint. Finger guns. Selling Soap. Succulent Wild Woman.Kathleen @topknotsnsweats
1K Followers 793 Following Still the girl trying to put smiles on faces one person at a time. 💜💙Gretta Sgarbo @J_ellyJune
139 Followers 120 Following Weirdness enthusiast. Antifascist. Pro-a-lot-of-stuff. 🇮🇹 🇬🇧. Realistic. Sarcastic. Skeptical. Bipolar.No Thanks @neverenoughlip
71 Followers 72 FollowingAngie with an Eh🇨�.. @LiLLeRedd
2K Followers 2K Following Here for the Bootyhole & the bitchin. 99% of the time I’m joking,maybe. if I were a scent I’d be woodsy,floral,fukoff & sage. #CLL #Leukaemia🦸🏽♂️Thom.. @ResistMonsters
23K Followers 22K Following #Scifi #Fantasy #Memes #PostApocalyptic #LongCovid #CPTSD #ADHD #Photography #Comedy #Gaming This is the Apocalypse. Left.Insert a witty name h.. @Thehotstoner
5K Followers 3K Following Just like weed, I make everything better. Gorgeous, Baby Girl, Good girl, Goddess 💍 Stay out of my DM's with your pee pees 1117𓈊 Side Hoe #3 𓈊 @moregayinside
153 Followers 338 Following w͓̽e͓̽ l͓̽i͓̽v͓̽e͓̽ i͓̽n͓̽ a͓̽ s͓̽o͓̽c͓̽i͓̽e͓̽t͓̽y͓̽Nel @Zpn1980
210 Followers 319 Following 🩷💛💙, 🇨🇦🇺🇲, she/they 80's baby, VetTech, ADHD/autistic. stuck in the south.Playing w/ Fire🔥 @jessicashigh420
166 Followers 353 Following Im in love💙 with my puppy & beer🍻 Anal. Inevitably making bad decisions, one choice at a time. I needlove. 🌺#questionablecontent #funfacts #uselessknowledgeI bet there were plenty of days that Ms. Frizzle’s class just wanted to go to the zoo.
*gets a little treat* (new jar of fiber gummies)
don’t complain when you are fined for farting, it’s harming the environment
Taylor Swift's new album is not called 'The Sadness Express'. I know that now.
Sure I’ll go to your Ayahuasca retreat. Will there be Doritos?
employer: what are your weaknesses me: crab rangoon
the chokehold a dead zoo gorilla had on an entire generation should be studied
I eat like an 11 year-old Hobbit going to the electric chair
any site can be a dating site if you use it incorrectly
Well, well, well.. if it isn’t me wanting the absolute best for you.
When I die and my life flashes before my eyes, I hope it skips all the times I tried and failed to parallel park.
I don’t want to know your horoscope. I want to know your go to karaoke song
The early bird gets the breakfast meatballs
i’m not running from the past but i can’t look back or it might kill me