fightgeek @fightgeek
i wander around outside and hangout with dogs mostly twitter.com/search?q=from%… BZN, USA Joined June 2008-
Tweets139K
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Followers11K
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Following9K
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Likes271K
fightgeek retweeted
everyone I know is literally famous to me
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fightgeek retweeted
I've squandered my talents and angered the lord.
fightgeek retweeted
Sure I’ll go to your Ayahuasca retreat. Will there be Doritos?
fightgeek retweeted
I'm not hungover, I always look like this.
fightgeek retweeted
That new song about navigation is already at the top of the charts but seriously, how maps is it to watch as "cartographer" uses its own definition compass for finding the employment history section of a resume
fightgeek retweeted
Social media is fucking boring now, I say, as I scroll fucking boring social media now.
fightgeek retweeted
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but they faked little house on the Prairie
fightgeek retweeted
Every one who visits me looks out the window because there are beautiful chimneys outside my window
fightgeek retweeted
It sometimes seems hard to make friends as an adult but a little kid at the grocery store smiled and waved and said “Hi, what’s your name?” and maybe it’s just that simple.
fightgeek retweeted
[Enjoying a thick blue beverage given to me by my archnemesis Denim Dan] Denim Dan: Ha! You just drank pure denim extract! You have 30 seconds to live! Me: Ha! I spent the last 10 years drinking nothing but rodeo water to build up my tolerance! [kills him with new wave music]
fightgeek retweeted
From the state of these branches, it's pretty clear no one in any generation went to arborist school, but that's definitely our family tree. The duct tape gives it away.
fightgeek retweeted
I told you to install security cameras, you installed wind chimes, put that in the police report
fightgeek retweeted
i have never googled jada pinkett smith yet how do i know all this shit about her
fightgeek retweeted
Nothing really prepares you for the stench of children
fightgeek retweeted
Go ahead and treat yourself to all of the dipping sauces
fightgeek retweeted
Some of us are already protesting against The Fashion Institute every day, in our own special way.
fightgeek retweeted
Society: operates Me: thine systems provoke me
fightgeek retweeted
Me being a martyr: “No you have the last two slices of bread. I’ll use the butts of the bread just fine for my toast.”
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Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Salty MacTavish 🇺�.. @SaltyMacTavish
13K Followers 9K Following We hardly talk about clams anymore and frankly I’m steamed about it https://t.co/MEeOiowPL2
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2
Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
The B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 14K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, Inferno
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
13K Followers 1K Following The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, The Atlantic, Harper's, Rolling Stone. I've read some of these magazines.
Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct
❤️🔥PamsMyth.. @mrsauntiepam
4K Followers 2K Following The answer is granny panties and a tank top, stop asking. If you want to - find me at that blue place I guess, it's going to get quiet here ⬅️
Fulkery, A Parody Wra.. @Fulkery1
11K Followers 10K Following Ruminations from a human that errs. Not 'available' so move along.
Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric
27K Followers 9K Following Gen X Superhero. Old people jokes for my old people followers. 90’s Kid Alumni. #cheeseburgers
LaLaLyds @LaLa_Lyds
19K Followers 4K Following nostalgic for last week's tuna sandwich. knock it off.
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Sandra @Leigh24Sandra
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❤️🖤🌒Goth Ic.. @goth_ick_mom
155 Followers 480 Following Just a mom with dark humor. No DM rooms. https://t.co/6roqrjGFnm
Chason Gordon @chasongordon
480 Followers 326 Following Writer / piteous wretch of a man. Words in Slate, Splice, McSweeney's, SlackJaw, Vice, Globe and Mail, other places words go. Find less on https://t.co/YAYeEFj0oj
Cranky Bitch @Karmakate4
5K Followers 4K Following ꧁༒☬𝓜𝓲𝓼𝓼𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓸𝓭☬༒꧂. 🚫No Dms 🚫 ᶠᴸᴬᵂᴱᴰain’t looking for anything from any of ya 🖕🏻
the other guy in WHAM @FinlayDave
8K Followers 7K Following No one gets out of here unscathed. Nothing to see here, keep it moving please. #BaBaBooey 🦍 #HeyNow
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Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
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60 Followers 162 Following
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539 Followers 451 Following Fourth Twitter Incarnation. Not likely to respond to DM's. Buy this! https://t.co/AH054voZTN
Jones @RottenPeachy45
335 Followers 581 Following
Subhranil Banerjee (H.. @Subhranil_B
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788 Followers 306 Following Still a rich, tall, famous, good looking, funny liar, but now with a little account
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T.E. Barrett @barrett_t
3K Followers 3K Following Wrangled horses in Jackson, Cody, Dubois, and Pinedale, WY. Hunting and River guide in Wyoming. Fought Forest Fires in Leadore, ID. Check out books on Amazon.
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Dannyboy_westhawk @DWesthawk
16K Followers 280 Following 𐂂 The secret lives of wildlife 🌲 𝗪𝗵𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗸, 𝗠𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗼𝗯𝗮 🇨🇦 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙤𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙤𝙬𝙣©
awfulperson69 @thugaliciousmom
540 Followers 2K Following 30 something mom lover of all things buttercream.
Ninja Dad @ninjadadofone
1K Followers 583 Following Dad. Not On The Market. Bourbon Drinker. Guitar Player. Professional Procrastinator.
🇺🇦Gnome de Guer.. @Gnome_DeGuerre
1K Followers 3K Following I enjoy overthinking and worrying about things over which I have no control. Neil Gaiman retweeted me. Formerly @ryno_san. RN. #Sober φιλόμαστος now on b sky
Emma Scott @EmmaScott
14K Followers 12K Following Costume designer, bacon connoisseur, news junkie, foul-mouthed hockey fanatic, altruist, lover-of-naps, & dirty hippie. Preferred pronoun: y'all.everyone I know is literally famous to me
A richer understanding Of what's already understood
I've squandered my talents and angered the lord.
@creepydotorg That picture has some filter touches. Here's one without too much filter. She looks good for her age.
Teach your children if they ever get lost from you to find a Mom with kids, NEVER a cop or a man.
What’s your unpopular opinion about parenting ? Let’s have them
Recipe for a great Saturday: 1 pot of tea 2 ibuprofen 3 cookies Repeat every 4 hours.
I’m making orange chicken today. It’s amazingly delicious. If you’re coming over, prepare to be fucking dazzled.
Sure I’ll go to your Ayahuasca retreat. Will there be Doritos?
In college this boy I liked asked me to lunch and also to go to the laundromat. So I went and brought my laundry. It was a great date. Weeks later he was at my apartment and said, “Hey! When did you get this washer/dryer?” And I said, “Oh I’ve always had that.” He married me.
we found a seadog, the earliest of settlers.
She doesn’t wanna be called a snake—but a serpent, cause she’s clasSsy. She’s also had enough w all the negative metaphors. She’s gentle & sSsensSsitive.
Rainy day adventure! That’s me in the bright red raincoat.
Ladies, if your boyfriend/husband asks you "how was work," just say it was fine
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