Kip Conlon @kipconlon

Retired barber since "the incident." twitter.com/search?q=from:… Brooklyn Joined December 2010

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13K
Followers

6K
Following

5K
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Kip Conlon @kipconlon

5 hours ago

Before the advent of the kiss-cam, we made out at basketball games unobserved, like trees falling in an empty forest.

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon

a day ago

It’s a three-piece suit if you count the bib.

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UwUTangClan @Executivejeff1

4 days ago

hey girl, long time no see. you divorced yet? ha ha no worries if not

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karanbir singh 🫶 @karanbirtinna

2 days ago

Lemme save you some time. If I ever go missing, you don't have to look at any of the hiking trails.

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon

2 days ago

What genius puts a windmill in the middle of a miniature golf course?!

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon

2 days ago

Rereading the Hardy Boys novels at this age, you notice how whiny Joe Hardy is and how far your life has strayed from what you had imagined, hoped.

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L @Ann_Hedonia1

4 days ago

Me waiting for my friend’s feedback on the show I suggested like I created it myself or something

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.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin

3 days ago

i was born in the 1900’s you’re going to have to speak up, child.

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon

3 days ago

Typical. A WEEK passed before Avery realized she’d forgotten our wedding anniversary. Only took me 3 days.

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Μαρια Κιτρινη @greek_heanen

2 months ago

Different isn't always a compliment! Did you hear that, mustard icecream?

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Fomo Simpson @HaliPhacks

2 years ago

She's a ten. Keeps me dry when camping, easy to pack up and take wherever - hang on, being told that's a tent.

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon

3 days ago

Late to the party but r.i.p. Patsy Cline.

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon

4 days ago

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon

4 days ago

I’m just the dry cleaner of Seville. Don’t like to make a big fuss.

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Avogadro’s House of Moles @schumoo

4 days ago

Sometimes I remember something from the past and it's jarring, like how you could order a spaghetti bucket from Little Caesars.

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eLeni @eleniZarro

5 days ago

me: I don’t like other people’s kids them: how old are yours? me: I don’t have any

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My dad told my daughter she was the best duster ever then leaned in to me and whispered “if you tell kids they’re amazing at the chore they don’t bitch about doing it” and suddenly I’m questioning if I really was the most amazing weed-puller he ever saw