ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin @mattonaroof
Go away MAGAts, Qlings, BitCoiners. Under-the-influencer. A unique blend of herbs and spice girls. Taken aback. ♏️🤹♂️🪢 Twitter.com/search?q=from%… CLT, NC Joined June 2017-
Tweets74K
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ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
On their deathbed, very few people say that they wish they had spent more time studying potential fifth round draft picks.
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ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
How dare I eat a salad
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
Relationship Update: I’m in an open relationship with my job 😌
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
Oh you’re funny? Explain sarcasm
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
One does not simply rise and shine
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
interesting how alexa & siri are both female. weird way to admit women have all the answers, but whatever you need to do, i guess
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
Formerly sexy person checking in
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
I showed you my artisanal flatbread please respond
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
New sticker just dropped
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
Bitcoin miners should have to wear cool hats and hold pickaxes when they're... doing whatever it is that they do to get the bitcoins from the bitcoin tunnel in the Bitcoin Hills or whatever.
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
Just went for a walk and saw this on some kind of electrical box.
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
Young, dumb, and full of aluminum.
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
Me? I'm a content creator. My content? Discontent.
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
Most cults end up offing themselves so, you know...*taps watch*
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
The thing about the bagpipes is you need to get up early and practice softly before the rest of the family wakes up.
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
ME: What's it called when the heart beats extremely fast and irregular? WIFE: It's Afib ME: No it happens, Sharon. Whatever, I'll ask someone else.
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
"You know what could use more melancholy? sitting" - The inventor of dedication benches
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
She murdered her puppy, wrote about it, and called it worthless. This has nothing to do with politics. She’s a psychopath with a $200 haircut
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ crumblemuffin retweeted
Ninja master: why are you here Me: I wish to learn how to get out of bed without waking up my wife Entire ninja school: [erupts with laughter]
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Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric
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Fomo Simpson @HaliPhacks
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3K Followers 6K Following Proud mother and grandmother, voting blue always no DM will get you a block , no porn I will block no maga we have nothing to say to one another.
ReizeruJeido @Hijastronaut
78 Followers 318 Following “Navigate the crypto world with precision and influence.”
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prettyisabella @prettyisab86931
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ALIYAH🤍 600k🤍 @tsaliyahj
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875 Followers 845 Following He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts
Lucy us @Lucy121_
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5 Followers 129 Following I'm Yumi Takahashi from Japan He now lives in the United States. Like sports, photography, swimming, traveling, cooking, reading, browsing financial news.
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1K Followers 2K Following The Covert Comic isn't like you. The Covert Comic is love you.
Professional Hoodie T.. @OfficeNinj15532
62 Followers 167 Following No hoodie is safe Introverted wife and boy mom I just share memes and nonsense....oh! and i know things. ⚾🏈🎶🎵 and well written historical erotica 💕
Kim Jones @kcjonesT20
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Someone @Someone70537168
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Troy Merry @MerryTroy80952
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Queeny Grace @QueenyGrac80092
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Salty MacTavish 🇺�.. @SaltyMacTavish
13K Followers 9K Following We hardly talk about clams anymore and frankly I’m steamed about it https://t.co/MEeOiowPL2
Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
SneezingWithWetMascar.. @WetMascara
20K Followers 2K Following Yes, THAT Thanksgiving tweet. My Faves: https://t.co/90HdOEinlH Recent Tweets in Link Below.
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
Fulkery, A Parody Wra.. @Fulkery1
11K Followers 10K Following Ruminations from a human that errs. Not 'available' so move along.
The Ciscokidder @TheCiscoKidder
36K Followers 12K Following 99% jokes, 100% Stay home dad, atheist, BLM, feminist, pro LGBTQ+ and left af. https://t.co/HpCbHaktUa
Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct
The B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 13K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, Inferno
Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric
27K Followers 9K Following Gen X Superhero. Old people jokes for my old people followers. 90’s Kid Alumni. #cheeseburgers
❤️🔥PamsMyth.. @mrsauntiepam
4K Followers 2K Following The answer is granny panties and a tank top, stop asking. If you want to - find me at that blue place I guess, it's going to get quiet here ⬅️
PieGuy @ilovepie84
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Mary E. Harris @marysdesk
8K Followers 3K Following Hosting @Slate’s daily news podcast What Next. Nope, there is no apostrophe in the show name. Alum: @WNYC Always: https://t.co/VGkX7gY2Pb
Elizabeth Erickson @TrixieBeth8888
15K Followers 15K Following #RESIST 🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊 #FBR #LGBTQ Author, Jade Danner mysteries, USM alum, 40 years in Financial Services. Followed by @glennkirschner2 and @Funder
billy_🌈💜😎 @billyhazeleyes1
12K Followers 11K Following 🌈 🌊🌊 #BlueCrew, #BeKind, #BeHappy, im not a serial killer, #Ukraine 🇺🇦, #FBR, #NFjan6
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑫𝒂.. @mysterynips3000
2K Followers 4K Following Oh hi!💋I'm fkn dark, twisted & full of inappropriate thoughts🦋mental health ( • ) ( • ) I love horror!! 🖤 Prob eating garlic bread! Fetch is fetch AF!🧚♀️
radiomadison🇮🇱�.. @RadioMadison
52K Followers 4K Following Madison from SiriusXM Alt Nation & Lithium. Lover of grammar, Howard Stern, Conan & good teeth. OPINIONS ARE MY OWN, DUMMIES. https://t.co/j0uYgu8pKH
Roxy Wright is writin.. @RoxyWright0
6K Followers 7K Following Writer, Poetess, sex, life & fuckery. Whiskey pleases me. Butt Stuff. Queen of butthole demons. Sapiosexual. Taken. NO DMs. Links👇@blacklilydes
Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilarious
SwearyFairy @Swearyfairy1
678 Followers 994 Following
Mueller, She Wrote @MuellerSheWrote
752K Followers 15K Following Subscribe to my Substack: https://t.co/obwMdjaJnQ AND THREADS: https://t.co/hDci375oDX
SarahBeerInTheFridge @SarahR_82
46K Followers 28K Following Beer. Coffee. Sarcastic. Jokes. I came here to cuss. I love my animals.
BigBlueWaveUSA® 🇺.. @BigBlueWaveUSA
155K Followers 146K Following #SaveDemocracy #BidenHarris #BlueCrew #FBR #BlueVoices #DemVoices 💙 #VoteBlue2024 #ConnectBlue #IFB - 2024 is Democracy vs Fascism #TEAMSTALLION
Congressman Jared Mos.. @RepMoskowitz
62K Followers 1K Following Father, husband, sneaker head, and Congressman for Florida’s 23rd Congressional District.
Stone Cold Jane Auste.. @AbbyHiggs
12K Followers 4K Following Feral essayist. Genderclear. They/Thembo. Professor: @MorganStateU Words: @MarieClaire_sa @Guardian @The_Rumpus @VICE🖖
Elizabeth Brasile @TWEETnElvis
12K Followers 12K Following Observer of divide &rule;. old empath, 💙💙#FBR #Resister, MAGA: cult of ignorance/narcissism, too toxic to be in our world. #RIPTG 💙💙💙
Lorraine Getz @lorraine_getz
2K Followers 5K Following
William Castillo @felinesfor420
70K Followers 70K Following Like:Cats,420,49ers, Giants,Warriors, Democrats!Magats,bots blocked!Offended by cussing? block me bc I don't want judgy christian assholes following me anyway!
maude 🍉 @sheisartmoney
40K Followers 25K Following abstract painter • collage artist Be-bop • Dada • Pyramids • 🌱plant stuff 🦚 love and mercy #LongCovidRuins
Dr. Allison Gill @allisongill
96K Followers 872 Following Veteran. Host of the @muellershewrote pod and @dailybeanspod. https://t.co/WXFHkANuFI Webby. She/Her. BLM
LeleAllDay @LeleLelesavage
2K Followers 2K Following #ALLY🌈 #RESISTER 👊🏽 💙✌🏼🕊VOODOO DOLLY BI-POLAR BEAR Hoping this iceberg don’t melt...
Patty McHugh 🇺🇸.. @pattymchugh1212
5K Followers 6K Following Wife,Mom,Grandma, Lifelong Pennsylvanian #SussexSquad Recent #Swiftie Democrat! 💙💙
Terry Crump ❤️Ado.. @ragwoman
10K Followers 11K Following Animals are so much nicer than humans she/her #resister #bidenharris #ProChoice #AdoptRescues #BlueCrew #VoteBlueIn2024 #Humanity #StandWithUkraine🌊🌊🌊✌🏼✌🏼
Andi @smiles_and_nods
413 Followers 243 Following Andi 2.0 Lost everyone during my Twitter sabbatical. please follow again.
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34K Followers 63 Following Hosted by @mizzwelch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan🎙️ C U Next Tuesday & Thursday
Bill Kristol @BillKristol
1.0M Followers 9K Following Director, https://t.co/JPcpCzAVjV. Editor at large & Morning Shots co-author, https://t.co/IFsNJFzEig. Host, https://t.co/wbwBfexLRN
𝕁. @jtothet
33K Followers 8K Following 👑 of Dad Jokes. Talk nerdy to me. Punnier than most. Old soul✖️DMs
Cranky Bitch @Karmakate4
5K Followers 4K Following ꧁༒☬𝓜𝓲𝓼𝓼𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓸𝓭☬༒꧂. 🚫No Dms 🚫 ᶠᴸᴬᵂᴱᴰain’t looking for anything from any of ya 🖕🏻
ray 鄺羡華 @raykwong
76K Followers 37K Following WSJ caption 🏆 | Space | Clean Energy | US-China | USC | Former Blue Check. Bad tweets written by my intern. Jiang Zemin tweets @ link #ENDALZ #NASASocial 🌊
David Robison @nosibordave
956 Followers 5K Following Looking for adventure in whatever comes my way! ;-) Oh, and let's make this PLANET great again! Stop polluting, destroying rain forests, killing its animals.
MISTY “PIG TAILS”.. @MistyDreamZzz
7K Followers 3K Following 🇨🇦 Just your average bratty red head. Artist. Designer. Friendly ASMR Weirdo. No prudes allowed! 😂✌🏻 https://t.co/Dp9UHOfszp
BoobsRadley @ScoutLaroo
144K Followers 3K Following Delightfully profane. Boobs ( • )( • ) are fun. If you don't like baseball and college football, we can't be friends.
Sarah Longwell @SarahLongwell25
98K Followers 2K Following CEO, https://t.co/XdwlQxsBmR | Publisher, https://t.co/AcVqdCNwx3 | Founder @AccountableGOP | Host: The Focus Group Podcast
Randy Douglas @RandyaDouglas
3K Followers 5K Following Blue dot in a red State. Aspiring to be a better human. 🏳️🌈 ♊️ 🌊🌳🍸
Medic Jay @AFMedic67
4K Followers 5K Following Retired Air Force, 🇺🇲 Navy Vet,🇺🇲Dad. Disabled American Patriot (the real kind) DAV,🇺🇲 VFW.🇺🇲 I vote 💙💙💙. Vote or shut up!!
bellabrooks15 @bellabrook7660
435 Followers 1K Following finally I'm back on Twitter my old account was hacked @BellaBrookz vote blue
BrooklynDad_Defiant!�.. @mmpadellan
1.3M Followers 42K Following Proud papa. Perpetually pissed. #BlueWave2024, #Feminist. Author of The Liddle'est President. 👉Sr. Advisor, @ReallyAmerican1👈👀
The Daily Beans Podca.. @dailybeanspod
80K Followers 661 Following Daily News. W/swearing. Contributor for https://t.co/97I0lSmwhc @muellershewrote HOSTS: @allisongill and @DGComedy Support us: https://t.co/Df77imVCtr
💟colleen☮️🕉 @_Private_Idaho
20K Followers 19K Following Meet my Boston terrier, Rigby 🐶. Teacher, Skier, @StephenKing fan. 💫💙~proudly followed by @7Veritas4
US first @DonaldDucksIt
41K Followers 41K Following Patriot-Pro-American, believes Conservativism is Selfish Conservation of Wealth and Power; MAGAts welcome to read truth. IFB. Retweets spread the message. #fbr
Carabella @chicabellz
678 Followers 1K Following
Haven't really been right since I found out about the arrow in the fedex logo
Can I still like Harry Styles if I'm a 46 year old mom of 3 adult children?
On their deathbed, very few people say that they wish they had spent more time studying potential fifth round draft picks.
I will miss you all so much when you are all going to hell
Until next year, Europe! We are currently in Schipol Airport in Amsterdam, waiting to head home to Boston. We work tomorrow. Tomorrow is gonna suuuuuuuck.
I'll always be someone who says 'bless you' to the cat when he sneezes.
Doctor: congrats you beat the war against cancer🎉 Cancer: nuh uh, here's 37k of debt to start with, also your kidneys are mine. So wipe that smile off your face! Me: 😑...
Day drinking and rocking out.
The most miserable time of my life was having a house in an HOA neighborhood.
I am a lucky woman to have a man that cooks for me bless his heart this is awful.
Nessie: [peering up at the world from Loch Ness] not my circus not my monkees
Guess who was at a friend's birthday brunch and is now happily drunk on the sofa.
Turns out mad cow disease can be transmitted by eating squirrel brains so there goes my first date idea
I think I’m finally learning how this place works. An account with one follower replied to my tweet about the puppy murderer. Truly horrible take. Maybe it’s a fake account, who cares. Didn’t engage, blocked, and went outside to take a leak. Cheers 😃
Reunited with my dog after 6 days! I missed my baby so much 🩷
Relationship Update: I’m in an open relationship with my job 😌
Home again home again. Omg why is it always the ones I don't want.
Even I wouldn’t shoot a dog, and I’m a real piece of shit
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