𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘆 𝘃𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗹𝘆𝗸𝗲 @im_all_id
middling jokes & existential dread // been seen in a meme or two 💙 💙 bluesky is better https://t.co/JTXIDbZ8Z0 x.com/search?q=from%… east coast overdose Joined August 2009-
Tweets28K
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Followers6K
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Following934
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Likes37K
My favorite part of the orgy is the end when you get to go to Denny’s with all your new friends.
Props to just stopping in the middle of the grocery aisle. Personally never tried it, but it seems big.
I’m not especially interested in fighting for the rest of my life for younger generations to have the rights our grandparents had.
Do not turn on Kamala Harris and start trashing the campaign she ran. She ran an amazing campaign. Put the blame on half of America who voted for hate and a daddy dictator who they think will take care of them, but who doesn't give a damn about them.
I somehow continue to be shocked by this country’s continued complete & total absence of a functioning moral compass.
idk why i’m always shocked to rediscover how deeply our country hates women
Imagine bringing about a dictatorship because you thought eggs cost a little too much money
ever since i was a little girl, i knew i wanted rights
As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.
I picked the wrong decade to stop doing coke
This time we can’t say we didn’t know, and we deserve what we’re going to get
the only thing america hates more than a rapist is a woman
My tweets aren’t very well thought out. I’m more like a personality hire around here.
I’m a philanthropist in the sense that I call myself a philanthropist.
Been so long since I prayed, might get nervous and call god “Babe” or something
Got my election snacks ready for later! Chocolate chips, pretzels, cigarettes, arsenic
[first day at ninja school] *wonders if i'm in the right room as i can't see or hear anyone else*

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