introvert. Husband. Dad of 3.
bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83
My links!
https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST
seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezburtwitter.com/search?q=from%… TNJoined September 2014
Me: *places a hold on a book in the Libby app*
Libby app: There’s a 36 week wait on this book.
Me: *starts another book while I wait*
*two hours later*
Libby app: Your hold is ready.
Interviewer: Can you give me a recent example of when you faced a difficult task that you worked through?
Me: Recent?
I: Yes, within the last six months.
Me: *knowing the most recent one is I had to saw off a toilet seat to put the new on one* Sigh.
So great when the sheriff's van comes down our street having prisoners clean up trash but there's one prisoner in the van just staring at my house the entire time. So comforting. Gives me the warm fuzzy feelings.
Parenting experts never warn you that one day you'll offer to let your son borrow one of your ties to match the suit he's wearing for prom and he'll respond by asking you if you have anything that's not from the 1900s
In case you wondered if having a "rival dad next door" is a real thing - I mowed yesterday and half way thru, rival dad next door started mowing. That bastard literally mowed 2 days ago. So yes. It's real.
My 10 y/o son has a lot of friends who show up on our doorstep but by far my most fave lil dude has got to be the one who always appears holdin a fistful of ham
I asked my 6yo if she wants to skip school on her birthday and she's having a hard time deciding because she doesn't want to miss out on the birthday sticker they get from their teacher.
My 8 year old asked if I’d seen his water bottle and I said it was next to the couch. He started to walk off then paused and asked, “the couch for sitting or the couch for laundry?” and the accuracy of the question stung a little.
23K Followers 4K FollowingFather of girls, Husband of wife, Coach of kids. Protagonist for the People in court, yet to win an argument at home. *ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ ᵒᵖⁱⁿⁱᵒⁿˢ*
20K Followers 1K Followingfreelance writer | content creator | someone once told me I was funny, for a mom | featured on BuzzFeed, Today Parents, HuffPost & more | Read my tweets👇
27K Followers 3K Followinghttps://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
1K Followers 2K FollowingPassionate, positive, punk parenting. I help stuff grow, like kids, plants, laundry piles and minds. Three kids at home, one in my heart. #patpatforever #SUDC
10K Followers 11K FollowingWriter | Film+TV projects ready to pitch. Loglines+posters on my website. Or just call me. Hello? Hello? I can hear you breathing. Hello? Hello? (Click).
304 Followers 5K Following(Aspiring Entrepreneur)
I create cute crafts using whatever supplies I have on hand Your Donation would mean the world 2 me💓Thanks in advance💋
$Angelaangie40
14 Followers 33 FollowingMouthy af. Slightly morbid. Very luckily married to this stud: @Beagz. Mom of 2. 1 adopted, 1 biological. 1 neurotypical, 1 neurodiverse. Both rad.
482 Followers 3K FollowingI am not belittling the brave pioneer men but the sunbonnet as well as the sombrero has helped to settle this glorious land of ours.
Edna Ferber Cimarron, ch.23
1K Followers 6K FollowingI'm a neurounique/distinct HSP heyoka super empath and traumatised psychic spiritual warrior soul being as a human and animal rights defender activist
185 Followers 552 FollowingChild of God, Wife, StepMom, Mommy to an IVF miracle, pro-Life, Reagan Conservative, former teacher, DIYer of all the crafts, #GoDawgs and God Bless America
23K Followers 4K FollowingFather of girls, Husband of wife, Coach of kids. Protagonist for the People in court, yet to win an argument at home. *ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ ᵒᵖⁱⁿⁱᵒⁿˢ*
20K Followers 1K Followingfreelance writer | content creator | someone once told me I was funny, for a mom | featured on BuzzFeed, Today Parents, HuffPost & more | Read my tweets👇
27K Followers 3K Followinghttps://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
3K Followers 1K FollowingAuthor, editor, company owner, child wrangler, humor miner, just dropped on my head in NYC. Rep'd by @MarsdonV at High Spot Literary.
(She/Her)
7K Followers 1K FollowingTalks too much. Aspiring painter. Late 30s & overwhelmed. Ally. 25+. D/s life. Poly Exploring. Sucks at flirting. Avi is me. Backup: @princessdanu_V2. On IG.
1K Followers 2K Followingjust your run of the mill sarcastic ass, ☕️-fueled, sports loving, foul-mouthed ray of fucking ☀️ - Alabama and Saints🏈, Braves⚾️, Golden State and Celtics🏀
15K Followers 9K FollowingI make the best small batch BBQ sauce in the world🔥
my pronouns are pineapple/pizza
You can find my video content in highlights
NOT ALL CONTENT IS MY OWN
3K Followers 2K Followingmom x3 ♡ homeschooling ♡ neurospicy ♡ i like world of warcraft, harry potter, books, and cats ♡ kind people are my kinda people ♡ cashapp: $madisonleighx
4.5M Followers 8K FollowingRaising the future. We are here through every step of the parenting journey—from those big life decisions to the memory-making moments.
1K Followers 2K FollowingHappily outnumbered #boymom! Lover of all things baseball especially #KCRoyals!#baseballmom Wife•Mom•Wiener Lover (dachshunds 🤦🏽♀️)
11K Followers 2K Following“Know your worth. Value your life. Appreciate your bacon” | Agent of Chaos | Bean’s Mama | Daily Dunker | Curator of too many “clinical disorders” | (She/Her)
958 Followers 239 FollowingPossibly Funny | Definitely Positive | Happy Single Mama 💙| Passion for Inspiring Others | I sling drinks on the side https://t.co/gofD9ZS4TJ
108K Followers 2K FollowingOther account @ThexyBeatht Still no defense mechanism against puppies or chocolate. Lover of good laughs. Sunshine and flip flops make me happy.
1K Followers 405 FollowingWhen life gives you 🍋’s it’s okay to bitch about it. User of twitter to make my IG pretty🤷♀️ Follow on IG ➡️ @snarkandlemons
136K Followers 472 FollowingFreedom of speech and information is a human right. Building an alternative decentralized internet for anyone in the world to access. https://t.co/zaj7uldYz9