martha dumptruck 🚚🥤 @sa1martha
prepare to be overwhelmed twitter.com/search?q=from%… Joined February 2014-
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Followers8K
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I think we can all agree that without question that pears are the worst of all the more well known, traditional fruits. A pear is like an apple that went horribly wrong.
"Okay Martha we are just watching you eat salad from a mixing bowl on the big screen." Like yea okay well I'm a remote employee and I like seeing myself in camera 😘
When you're still pooping but you already know that wiping is gonna be a nightmare 😔
How do I say I'm better than a bear without sounding misogynistic?
Hinge needs a gang builder option
@PracticalBedlam Yeah. A certain kind of guy always assumes the bear would attack because that’s what they’d do if they could
I'm sorry ma'am but I'm not gonna take nutrition advice from someone with corn kernels for teeth
I wish the distance between us was larger.
I had no right to be shocked when I shit my pants after pushing so hard for a fart
Can't stop, won't stop telling people that they "smell like a poet" and refusing to elaborate.
I've been thinking about when Forest Gump just started running and didn't stop a lot... like yes... I understand how that might happen
Shush. I have the talking stick.
My favorite part of the day is when you first lay down and get to do cricket legs
Don't eat Domino's after 40. You'll die.
Better out than in I always say referring to farting and also crying
just learned how to cancel out other ppl's prayers. cancelled over 200 prayers in the last 30 minutes alone
inspector ratchet @_hood_mona_lisa
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7K Followers 4K Following A dark sarcastic girl with hobbies. Join me for coffee chat. @misscreature13 InstagramI think we can all agree that without question that pears are the worst of all the more well known, traditional fruits. A pear is like an apple that went horribly wrong.
@sa1martha I’m pretty sure I got fudge dragon from this South Park episode…
A nice example of disinformation on safer supply in action. A strong study did in fact show safer supply significantly reduced both overdose & all-cause mortality. It was peer-reviewed & published in one of the most rigorous medical journals. This hand-waving doesn’t negate that.
The aggregate data shows that safer supply leads to no statistically significant reductions in morality — but researchers unethically reframed this data to deceptively inflate positive results. You can read my essay on this here: thehub.ca/2024-02-01/ada….
April 29th has been a tough day for my family and I ... Too many lives are lost to suicide. Never miss an opportunity to tell those close to you that you love them. If anyone ever needs to talk: National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or dial 988
Guys I just learned something about myself
if you're pure of soul you can microwave metal with no issue
How do I say I'm better than a bear without sounding misogynistic?
Gonna bring back saying "far out" when I find things fascinating.
@sa1martha In college my dorm had a notorious shower deucer that would strike without warning, proudly leaving a fudge dragon in the shower for all to see. They hit every floor in that dorm. Sometimes it keeps me up at night that they are still out there and were never brought to justice
@sa1martha 😂 OK, the first sounds like a truly unfortunate accident. The second one is absolutely psychotic behavior!
@PracticalBedlam Yeah. A certain kind of guy always assumes the bear would attack because that’s what they’d do if they could
If this doesn’t put it in perspective for you, nothing will.
I wish the distance between us was larger.
Me: welcome to my she shed Gynecologist: please don’t call it that