Salty MacTavish 🇺🇸🏳️🌈🇺🇦 @SaltyMacTavish
In the name of the Earth & the Wind & the Fire, amen https://t.co/MEeOiowPL2 etsy.com/shop/KitchenTa… Joined August 2015-
Tweets132K
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Followers13K
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Following9K
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Likes199K
I just used the word rigamarole in a conversation and now I feel like a Mayberry character.
Sorry, can't, fucking off
A few winters ago a high school boy looked at me with my ice skates and said, “YOU’RE going to skate?” and after that I left and didn’t skate. I’m still scared of high school boys.
If they say “Well I don’t want to make more work but…” they’re about to make you so much fucking work.
“Where seldom is heard a discouraging word” so, the opposite of Twitter, then
me: dating is hard me on a date: pls tell me you know ratatouille isn’t the name of the rat
Trad wives saying "nice" whenever they see the number 11
Ok, ok. I'll do the one thing but I'm not gonna die.
Every time a Manager calls their office employee a Rock Star, Mick Jagger loses a move
She's got legs and knows how to use them but her arms just hang there like sausages
@HadenReynolds you’re way too kind, my friend. i am a simple manchild searching for the perfect fart joke 🙏
@SunshineJarboly oh my god, tremendous work! could you leave a little talent for the rest of us? 🤍🤍🤍
bu is the new by, by the way
kids, i stumbled on some more of my tweets that i illustrated a while ago. this place is still called twitter, bu the way
Maybe my farm is the origin of the Horse of a Different Color you’ve heard tell about. You don’t know.
Hey our house has a loose newel post cap too but I’ve yet to see anyone roll in a wheelbarrow full of cash what a ripoff
@OnlyJustABill @SaltyMacTavish Cook the filets until the outside begins to brown. Then, remove the filets and eat the planks.
@SaltyMacTavish Also much tastier than actual shad
@RapsGuy1000a @SaltyMacTavish I'm here for the John Muir/Jeff Bezos mashup. Nature, but make it customer-centric
Bob Golen @BobGolen
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7 Followers 4 Following A local, family-owned liquor store since 1999. We’ve got all your favorite beverages right here -- local craft beers, wine, and spirits.I just used the word rigamarole in a conversation and now I feel like a Mayberry character.
A few winters ago a high school boy looked at me with my ice skates and said, “YOU’RE going to skate?” and after that I left and didn’t skate. I’m still scared of high school boys.
If they say “Well I don’t want to make more work but…” they’re about to make you so much fucking work.
“Where seldom is heard a discouraging word” so, the opposite of Twitter, then
me: dating is hard me on a date: pls tell me you know ratatouille isn’t the name of the rat
Trad wives saying "nice" whenever they see the number 11
Every time a Manager calls their office employee a Rock Star, Mick Jagger loses a move
She's got legs and knows how to use them but her arms just hang there like sausages
@HadenReynolds you’re way too kind, my friend. i am a simple manchild searching for the perfect fart joke 🙏
@SunshineJarboly oh my god, tremendous work! could you leave a little talent for the rest of us? 🤍🤍🤍
kids, i stumbled on some more of my tweets that i illustrated a while ago. this place is still called twitter, bu the way
Maybe my farm is the origin of the Horse of a Different Color you’ve heard tell about. You don’t know.
@OnlyJustABill @SaltyMacTavish Cook the filets until the outside begins to brown. Then, remove the filets and eat the planks.
@SaltyMacTavish Also much tastier than actual shad
@RapsGuy1000a @SaltyMacTavish I'm here for the John Muir/Jeff Bezos mashup. Nature, but make it customer-centric