Mary @AnniemuMary
https://t.co/1w8sFLNHQ1 Joined January 2015-
Tweets153K
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Followers9K
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Following3K
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Likes217K
Mary retweeted
There’s a poem out there for you somewhere but you have to find it. And read it. Or write it.
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Mary retweeted
I could’ve been a contender, but beach babe toss & stick isn’t recognized as a sport.
Who is a character you are slowly turning into?
Who is a character you are slowly turning into? https://t.co/tGvXqL9xmX
Mary retweeted
Mary retweeted
Sitting down to a nice dinner of ibuprofen
Mary retweeted
Let a lady go in front of me at Chipotle who then placed an order for 9 people
Mary retweeted
Been saying I need to sort my life out for the past 20 years, starting to think I am not, in fact, going to sort my life out.
Mary retweeted
sorry not going to be posting much anymore bc i stumbled on an account that reviews sticks they find in the woods and that account deserves my full attention
Mary retweeted
This week was heavy. How bout we put it down & make some jiffy pop?
I watch Summer House mostly to figure out how I would clean up after one of those parties. I think I would start with the outside.
Mary retweeted
I think if there were a snack called “cheesy pleasers,” I would purchase it and eat it often.
Mary retweeted
One of the biggest challenges in the workplace is trying not to eat your lunch before 10 am
Mary retweeted
Are you a DIYer? If you’re a DIYer, you have to tell us. That’s the law.
Mary retweeted
@AnniemuMary I was once flicking through records in a store and my apple watch came to life announcing "It looks like you have started a work-out" How low a bar have I set, fitness wise for it to assume that
Mary retweeted
Blacked out on men’s 50+ multivitamins
I have a watch that registers heart rate, sleep, etc. and if it notices a change, it will ask me 13 minutes later how I was feeling. How was I feeling 13 minutes ago? I’ve lived six lifetimes since then but if I had to guess, I was either pissed or sad.
Mary retweeted
You people need to start thinking about your Halloween costume.
Mary retweeted
Do people believe they understand how every job works, or is that just an entertainment thing? I'm talking dry cleaning, manufacturing, trucking logistics; normal jobs we may not think about if we don't do them. Do they attract the same backseat expert type people?
Mary retweeted
@MeghanLands I think so, and general short-sightedness. Dealing with customers in any field usually boils down to "but you failed to consider ME, doesn't this entire establishment function for that express purpose?!"
Mary retweeted
important to remember 👇
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269 Followers 517 FollowingWho is a character you are slowly turning into
Who is a character you are slowly turning into?
Who is a character you are slowly turning into?
Who is a character you are slowly turning into?
There’s a poem out there for you somewhere but you have to find it. And read it. Or write it.
I could’ve been a contender, but beach babe toss & stick isn’t recognized as a sport.
someone found my lost debit card and is trying to have a really fun day with it
@AnniemuMary I even got a hitch in my get-along.
@AnniemuMary Oh, I am fully Gladys Kravitz already. Ask me anything, I have a house full of windows.
If you’re 25+ and unmarried, the fuck are you doing?
Fun fact when I was 12 my “friends” orchestrated a fake reality show rose ceremony where they publicly voted me out of the friend group at lunchtime. It was so brutal that almost all of them tracked me down in adulthood to apologize.
Dressed up my foster kitten like a cowboy in an attempt to get him adopted
Deciding to get up
I don’t care what anyone says, “I feel fine but my wife made me come in” has a positive predictive value for something being really fucking wrong that approaches 100%
@AnniemuMary Invest in a pressure washer.
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