F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) @FScottFitzJesse
I'm just here to make fun of myself. twitter.com/search?q=from%… In my mind and in my car Joined December 2016-
Tweets110K
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Followers8K
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Following6K
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Likes162K
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) retweeted
The Flame Who Cried Broiled
The Flame Who Cried Broiled
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Another bae another baller.
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) retweeted
Your neighbor installs a life-sized statue of you in their front yard, claiming it's a tribute to your friendship. How do you respond?
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) retweeted
Have a poetic day!
I’m less busy than I was this time last year. I could use this extra time to finally write a novel…but instead I think I am going to exercise and be in shape at least one summer of my life.
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) retweeted
Just solved my first cold case. It was OJ Simpson.
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) retweeted
the light from the library across the street late at night is something so comforting words can't explain
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) retweeted
I be lookin at the titties in paintings
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) retweeted
This could be us, but you playin…
This could be us, but you playin…
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) retweeted
I'm gonna need y'all to stop making up new slang words I am exhausted
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) retweeted
Wanna come over for a week and forget the world sucks?
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) retweeted
forever is too long, how about 13 mississippis ?
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) retweeted
You make me vibrate on a higher frequency
There may never have been a better time to ask myself: What if this is a good thing even though it looks like a bad thing?
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) retweeted
My toxic trait is thinking my annoyingness is cute.
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) retweeted
If a mannequin moves, it's possessed, not alive.
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) retweeted
If you were a salad, what kinda salad would you be?
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) retweeted
Stop annoying me, I'm not in the mood to flirt.
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) retweeted
Get the fuck outside and get some sun, ya bitch.
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) retweeted
In an unexpected turn of events yesterday, my husband tested the child locks on the car doors. “Laura, can you come and let me out?”
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questioning whether or not to subscribe to the thoughts of gabica? here are some of my lovely reviews
The Flame Who Cried Broiled
I always think any Burger King is on fire. One day, one will be and I’ll have stopped believing it by then. Isn’t that the way it always goes?
In my experience, the first warning sign of relapse risk— other than being alive— is a numb, kinda depersonalized “f*ck it” feeling that settles over you. It’s not exactly an unwelcome sensation.
@DrDoyleSays That feeling is what I'm currently struggling with after 5yrs clean frm drugs after I used drugs as a way to cope with escaping my violent ex. I didn't wanna sleep due to fearing he'd come through door.
@FScottFitzJesse Just write the book already, Jesse. 😉
@thejnicholas Install a 3/4 size statue of them to show your appreciation but also to send a message of superiority. .
Your neighbor installs a life-sized statue of you in their front yard, claiming it's a tribute to your friendship. How do you respond?
Just solved my first cold case. It was OJ Simpson.
the light from the library across the street late at night is something so comforting words can't explain
It’s the one year anniversary of the worst thing that’s ever happened to me
1) wine 2) vodka 3) tequila 4) rum 5) whiskey kisses
QT. Tell me any 5 of your favorite things. 1) babies laughing 2) the ocean 3) discovering/learning things 4) sunsets and the night sky 5) the smell of rain
Do yourself a favor and google “suspicious horses”
Can’t-Getting high off puffer fish with dolphins. Dude…
@FScottFitzJesse No doubt, “it’s all perspective,” is the third rule of 5.
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