JP 🍍 @JPLFR80
Help the dogs: https://t.co/E0c3vqvGWI Twitter.com/search?q=from:… 🇧🇷 Joined October 2017-
Tweets265K
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Followers39K
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Following9K
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Likes405K
JP 🍍 retweeted
I might be a little bit behind by a few years, but I just started binge watching Modern Family and that show is freaking hilarious
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JP 🍍 retweeted
Tonight is witches' night, come and dance, drink and celebrate with me, you magical creatures 🥂😈 💫
JP 🍍 retweeted
Kids today will never do fun things like mistake the remote for phone when drunk.
When I like a comment, but don't reply, it's because I don't want to bother them. When other people like my comment, but don't reply, it's because they fucking hate me
JP 🍍 retweeted
Sometimes the good things show up out of nowhere too
JP 🍍 retweeted
Them: you can always make new friends Me: out of what ?
JP 🍍 retweeted
Ok my friends, if you have not yet listened to PB&J's podcast by @hunkybloodydory and @JPLFR80 well you are truly missing out! Go check them out!
My therapist is listening to PB&J podcast and sent a message with a bunch of laugh emojis. Is she enjoying our dorky humor or just happy about all the money I'll probably pay her forever? I'll find out later today, at our weekly session
JP 🍍 retweeted
Small talk before 8am is absolutely unacceptable.
JP 🍍 retweeted
Before bed: I can't wait for tomorrow. Gonna seize the day! Morning: *wakes up planning nap schedule*
JP 🍍 retweeted
Whenever I say "sorry, I can't this afternoon, I have some errands to run", rest assured one of those errands is a nap
JP 🍍 retweeted
When you say, “Her buns are fake,” the only exception to a BBL accusation is Leia.
JP 🍍 retweeted
If you don't listen to the PB&J podcast you're gonna miss out on stuff like this! New episode up now, link in bio
JP 🍍 retweeted
Can't. Busy tending to my back garden. If you know what I mean...
JP 🍍 retweeted
Woke up one lucky sonofabitch again.
JP 🍍 retweeted
Being perfect all the time is hard work. Sometimes, you need to unleash your inner asshole to balance things.
JP 🍍 retweeted
It’s oddly satisfying when I spend the night being beaten to a pulp by my mind, and wake up with several mysterious bruises… physical manifestation of the mental warfare. There’s not nearly enough bruises though…
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Drinking sparkling water and trying not to burp into the microphone, cause I’m classy
If I ever get stranded and need to be rescued: Me whispering: "snakes are poisonous." .................................................................. Twitter Rando: "ACTUALLY THEY'RE VENOMOUS"
Tonight is witches' night, come and dance, drink and celebrate with me, you magical creatures 🥂😈 💫
Kids today will never do fun things like mistake the remote for phone when drunk.
@JPLFR80 No, I totally get it! It’s just not true! I like everything you say, I just don’t want to be annoying.
@JPLFR80 Bother me anytime my friend Because friends are never a bother❤️❤️❤️
@JPLFR80 You could always do that, but before you had to do it through their website. It’s much better now, I agree. 😁
@JPLFR80 @hunkybloodydory 📢 yesss!! and all the time in the world to pet allllll the dogs! 🐶
Sometimes the good things show up out of nowhere too
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