Granite Man 🏴 @GraniteDhuine
The unacceptable face of Scottish Twitter. Whisky drinker, kilt wearer, sweary AF. twitter.com/search?q=from%… Scotland Joined December 2019-
Tweets144K
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Followers18K
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Following5K
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Likes116K
oh you walked 500 miles for me and then 500 more? that’s an ick
They would not fucking say that. *me every time I see a Tweet by a European with "y’all" in it
I know it's a tough time right now but imagine being born before potatoes were a thing. That would be so much worse.
Someone at work asked if they could slip something into my pigeon hole. I was very flattered, but declined their offer.
I never take naps, it's bad enough waking up once in a day.
If I ever turn up missing, I want a team of unemployed, socially-awkward, internet sleuths living in their parents’ basements to find my lifeless body.
I'm sorry I can't talk at the moment, I'm looking up the menu of a restaurant I'm going to next week.
Welcome to your 40s. Having to pee at 4am means you’re now awake for the day at 4am.
I want to go back to where the most stressful part of my day was Sonic running out of air
There should be a socially acceptable way to say, "I'm not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?".
Getting way more use out of my Amazon prime than my sexual prime
Her: You are of average intelligence. Me: That's just mean.
The dogs reaction to a day trip… Sound on 📹 shnootle.hound
Taylor Swift writes a 31 song album and I’m struggling to reply to an email at work for something I’m a subject matter expert on.
In honor of Willie Nelson's 91 birthday 🎂 Here's a photo of Keith Richards teaching a young Willie Nelson how to play guitar
You're more likely to be murdered by people close to you. So if you make a new friend, be sure to murder them straight away, before they get round to it.
This is Indy. While the other pups were playing, he studied the wag. 14/10 destined for h*ckin greatness
vision bored @visionbored2
43K Followers 989 Following𝐀 𝐌 𝐀 𝐍 �.. @littlegiinge
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30K Followers 6K Following My wife works two jobs so that I can chase my dream of being in a boy band. https://t.co/JhWCxIXYbKCrissie @CrissieC
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66K Followers 18K Following I'm a silly kinda weird.. Coffee please? -`ღ´- https://t.co/OMVnn385QHBits & Pisces ♠️�.. @Chuck_Wagon_
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42K Followers 4K Following Mom. Pickle connoisseur… Certified meat-eater…I have a potty mouth...Leafs fan.I like my coffee black because it’s a lot like me…bitter, dark and hot (flashes)Blue Berrymore @BerrymoreBlue
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259 Followers 96 Following It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live https://t.co/bumr7jmFfPoh you walked 500 miles for me and then 500 more? that’s an ick
@GraniteDhuine That's ok then, thought you were just ignoring us 🤷♀️
I know it's a tough time right now but imagine being born before potatoes were a thing. That would be so much worse.
Someone at work asked if they could slip something into my pigeon hole. I was very flattered, but declined their offer.
If I ever turn up missing, I want a team of unemployed, socially-awkward, internet sleuths living in their parents’ basements to find my lifeless body.
Welcome to your 40s. Having to pee at 4am means you’re now awake for the day at 4am.
Oh no I just made eye contact with one of them. Now what?? I SAID NOW WHAT?!?
At what point after seeing the same people at the gym every morning are you required to start saying hello? Please say it’s 10 years
I want to go back to where the most stressful part of my day was Sonic running out of air
@GraniteDhuine I’ll bookmark this and use your tweet from now on, when I’m in such a conversation 🤣
Getting way more use out of my Amazon prime than my sexual prime