Avogadro’s House of Moles @schumoo
shameless grifter, pathological liar twitter.com/search?q=from:… In the dark Joined August 2009-
Tweets288K
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Followers12K
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Following8K
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Likes303K
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
Whenever Capital One asks, “what’s in your wallet?” I’m like, a few extra ramen flavor packets and a photo of Kathy Ireland.
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
entering an imaginary land where vines are climbing the walls of my cubicle
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
Well I would invite you, but you look like you might bring a guitar, bust it out, and play it at conversational distance, the only answer for which is violence.
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
look if you see me walking around with a bucket of fried chicken this morning, just look the other way.
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
I was —-> <—- this close to using the phone keypad in place of the calculator. Now I’ll never know who I might have reached at 622-391-8236.
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
The lady in the next stall is taking a massive dump I mean Christ almighty even my pants fit looser.
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
I wish there was a metaphor to describe this albatross hanging around my neck.
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
an app that violently vibrates your phone out of your hands before you do something colossally stupid
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
I'll do the dishes at the end of this episode *pauses show for 2 hours*
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
It’s sunny in my little garden today, and all the numbly shell-shocked plants are cringing in disbelief. Just like my reply guys.
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
Honesty is a very misused word nowadays.
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
I’m like if Wolverine was Scrappy-Doo
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
The biggest lie 90s dudes told was that there was something in that wallet that made it worth chaining up
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
I just followed your dad.
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
Blacked out on men’s 50+ multivitamins
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
Not sure who needs to hear this but stop tweeting and driving.
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
Bake more cookies. People stop bitching when their faces are full of baked goods.
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
It’s not luck. Believe me, it’s not luck at all.
Sometimes I remember something from the past and it's jarring, like how you could order a spaghetti bucket from Little Caesars.
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
If I’m sending you a meme, it’s from the toilet, with love
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Whenever Capital One asks, “what’s in your wallet?” I’m like, a few extra ramen flavor packets and a photo of Kathy Ireland.
entering an imaginary land where vines are climbing the walls of my cubicle
Well I would invite you, but you look like you might bring a guitar, bust it out, and play it at conversational distance, the only answer for which is violence.
look if you see me walking around with a bucket of fried chicken this morning, just look the other way.
I was —-> <—- this close to using the phone keypad in place of the calculator. Now I’ll never know who I might have reached at 622-391-8236.
The lady in the next stall is taking a massive dump I mean Christ almighty even my pants fit looser.
I wish there was a metaphor to describe this albatross hanging around my neck.
an app that violently vibrates your phone out of your hands before you do something colossally stupid
I'll do the dishes at the end of this episode *pauses show for 2 hours*
It’s sunny in my little garden today, and all the numbly shell-shocked plants are cringing in disbelief. Just like my reply guys.
The biggest lie 90s dudes told was that there was something in that wallet that made it worth chaining up
Not sure who needs to hear this but stop tweeting and driving.
Bake more cookies. People stop bitching when their faces are full of baked goods.
It’s not luck. Believe me, it’s not luck at all.
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