Han Solo Cup @paminski
keytar advocate, sci-curious Twitter.com/search/from:pa… Electric Avenue Joined August 2013-
Tweets28K
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Followers5K
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Following3K
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Likes33K
oh you like gardening. name 3 hoes.
I was —-> <—- this close to using the phone keypad in place of the calculator. Now I’ll never know who I might have reached at 622-391-8236.
Expecting Parents, PLEASE I beg you Please look at what your child's name will be spelled backwards. Sincerely, Marlana
and then one day adult beverages means metamucil and pepto bismol
Him: what makes bitters bitter? Me: they lost custody of their children?
Emails be like unsubscribe here and then they send you an email to tell you you’ve unsubscribed.
Congrats, YouTube. the algorithm really nailed my 10 year-old with ads for boxed wine, divorce attorneys and the swiffer wet jet
When your 8 year old gets in trouble at school for spelling curse words with scrabble tiles in school, it’s not appropriate to say “well, that’s fucking hilarious.” I know this now.
(Falling asleep) My body: hey let's play whac-a-mole except with an itch
Get yourself a girl who prioritizes. My wife left her inhaler at home to make room in her purse for the m&ms we wanted to smuggle into the movie
christian bale: i am batman christian braille: ⠊ ⠁⠍ ⠃⠁⠞⠍⠁⠝
Would have been pretty sweet if generative AI had just waited another decade or so to “enrich” my career.
klingon *two claps* klingoff
*catching up with an old friend* how have you been. Do you still like Sunny Delight?
If you put Shakespeare in a room with a typewriter for an infinite amount of time, he’d eventually come up with the complete works of the Monkees
Has anyone tried giving that rage against the machine guy a snickers
Welcome to marriage. He had a dream I made salmon pot roast and woke me up just to tell me how terrible it was.
Get busy saying or get busy dialing - The Shawshank Phone Extension
me: dating is hard me on a date: why would a bull even be in a china shop to begin with
Get busy frowning or get busy smiling - The Shawshank Expression
Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbol
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
ADHDean @ADHDeanASL
23K Followers 5K Following BLACK LIVES MATTER. Husband, dad, friend. Ally. ASL Interpreter. Doofus. Midvale School for the Gifted alum. Mastodon: [email protected]
inspector ratchet @_hood_mona_lisa
19K Followers 7K Following Public menace. Bog Witch. Level 58 Trainwreck. Costco Gold Star Member.
meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
NurseBrianRN @rn_murse
19K Followers 825 Following Singer-Songscreamer I Gay Homosexual I Pubic Figure | Fourth Thing
Village Person @SvnSxty
31K Followers 4K Following If you support ethnic cleansing, kindly fuck off 😊 Find me and follow me @SvnSxty on all platforms. my tweets ⤵️
President Warren G. H.. @PopeAwesomeXIII
13K Followers 2K Following Commercially Inviable. ✌️ 29th US President (1921-1923) 🧐 Tip jar! https://t.co/Igf16XkzWv ❤ He/Him 👍 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏴☠️ ❤️ See pinned for migration info
Mad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
23K Followers 4K Following sometimes funny, full of cheese, chocolate and unpopular opinions; don’t DM please https://t.co/IdtiajUsnd
your other mom @difficultpatty
37K Followers 965 Following Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://t.co/sVPCoTC4Pw
Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
56K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
Mrtsr198081 @mrtsr1980832611
176 Followers 2K Following
Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilarious
sane person in Florid.. @smallworld96
421 Followers 751 Following democracy good. fascism bad. let's not mess with that fun fact.
L @Ann_Hedonia1
2K Followers 2K Following Non-committal hockey fan. Psych student. Part-time nihilist. Pro cat. Film enthusiast. Not fun at parties.
dianarama @dirtybirdie_
2K Followers 3K Following I enjoy really smart folks with really dumb jokes. In like 4 gangs. Funk Soldier. Cat lady. #IStillOwnStupidHashtags. Ex-Seattleite. Blocked by Rudy Giuliani.
Redkat5000 @Redkat5000
121 Followers 475 Following
Donnelly Bushie 🇨�.. @don_bushie
534 Followers 2K Following Dear Allah, I’m putting 2024 in your hands.
〽️ike Wise @mikestacywise
507 Followers 663 Following
TTrades @AMCSccam
234 Followers 5K Following ICT l Student of the market l YouTube👇Discord l I won't DM you first l
Lucilla Leigh @CandiedWhispers
3K Followers 4K Following Romance & Erotica Writer. Unveiling desire in tantalizing tales. Let's explore the erotic realm together. #SensualScribe #EroticEscapades
Abdullah Earzada @earzada58784
10 Followers 434 Following
Katie John @KatieJohn281707
34 Followers 325 Following I don't give a f**k to people that I not serious
Here's Johnny D🌞 @venture675
703 Followers 5K Following Customer service with a smile!!! I wonder what movie franchise serial killer they have you fawning over today?
Full Metal Gansy @Andymoo88891793
658 Followers 2K Following
Omar Faruk @omarfarukbcc5
2K Followers 4K Following
Woughd @woughd91688
224 Followers 4K Following
Danilo Borys @DaniloBorys4425
583 Followers 5K Following BJ Blue BELT WHATEVER YOU GOT • Blind rage - Uda mortar to support Battalion Uda P See Translation
Mike Kucher @kucher_mike
264 Followers 3K Following
I know...right? @90sJarhed
536 Followers 5K Following definitely not normal, sometimes snarky, mostly mr. niceguy. married to the same gal for 27 years #stillbi #bisexual #wheeloftime #expanse #beer #bourbon
Carrie Kinney @carriewill2
184 Followers 313 Following Just a girl from North Carolina. Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend, Child of God. Member of #The4500.
Mike Banner @Mike_Banner_
71 Followers 906 Following SW / RNLD / BIA / Mental health & transitions - views are my own
ANAÏS NINJA @michikoconuts
8K Followers 2K Following MORE PERSNICKETY THAN EVER https://t.co/9tHvo7JT1X
RobFM²: Back in the .. @RobIsOuttaHere
1K Followers 946 Following my standup debut: https://t.co/9RpylJcJJU sorry in advance
Hesmeigh @hesmeigh52615
28 Followers 1K Following
❤️🖤🌒Goth Ic.. @goth_ick_mom
155 Followers 480 Following Just a mom with dark humor. No DM rooms. https://t.co/6roqrjGFnm
🌻Heather🌻 @BoobsNAnxiety
12K Followers 11K Following #NSFW! 🚫Minors. 420💨 Married to @chrisismyname87💍#NFL #CowboysNation⭐ #ChiefsKingdom 🏈🚫DM #WWE #RKO #Rhea💪I repost A LOT! #Taurus ♉ #Liberal🌊
catey lindy @luvnaturalboobs
853 Followers 2K Following
Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbol
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
ADHDean @ADHDeanASL
23K Followers 5K Following BLACK LIVES MATTER. Husband, dad, friend. Ally. ASL Interpreter. Doofus. Midvale School for the Gifted alum. Mastodon: [email protected]
SneezingWithWetMascar.. @WetMascara
20K Followers 2K Following Yes, THAT Thanksgiving tweet. My Faves: https://t.co/90HdOEinlH Recent Tweets in Link Below.
inspector ratchet @_hood_mona_lisa
19K Followers 7K Following Public menace. Bog Witch. Level 58 Trainwreck. Costco Gold Star Member.
meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
NurseBrianRN @rn_murse
19K Followers 825 Following Singer-Songscreamer I Gay Homosexual I Pubic Figure | Fourth Thing
Village Person @SvnSxty
31K Followers 4K Following If you support ethnic cleansing, kindly fuck off 😊 Find me and follow me @SvnSxty on all platforms. my tweets ⤵️
President Warren G. H.. @PopeAwesomeXIII
13K Followers 2K Following Commercially Inviable. ✌️ 29th US President (1921-1923) 🧐 Tip jar! https://t.co/Igf16XkzWv ❤ He/Him 👍 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏴☠️ ❤️ See pinned for migration info
Mad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
23K Followers 4K Following sometimes funny, full of cheese, chocolate and unpopular opinions; don’t DM please https://t.co/IdtiajUsnd
your other mom @difficultpatty
37K Followers 965 Following Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://t.co/sVPCoTC4Pw
Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
56K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔
Topher @toe_toph_tofu
434 Followers 495 Following Do my fellow imaginary creatures also struggle with crippling self-doubt? https://t.co/6xusy9Z5h4
Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilarious
sane person in Florid.. @smallworld96
421 Followers 751 Following democracy good. fascism bad. let's not mess with that fun fact.
L @Ann_Hedonia1
2K Followers 2K Following Non-committal hockey fan. Psych student. Part-time nihilist. Pro cat. Film enthusiast. Not fun at parties.
dianarama @dirtybirdie_
2K Followers 3K Following I enjoy really smart folks with really dumb jokes. In like 4 gangs. Funk Soldier. Cat lady. #IStillOwnStupidHashtags. Ex-Seattleite. Blocked by Rudy Giuliani.
Canadia @canadaslady2
9K Followers 2K Following
Lynda Carter @RealLyndaCarter
449K Followers 1K Following Singer, Actress and proud Mom! Listen to my new single #LettersfromEarth: https://t.co/8r3ycFqOTS
I know...right? @90sJarhed
536 Followers 5K Following definitely not normal, sometimes snarky, mostly mr. niceguy. married to the same gal for 27 years #stillbi #bisexual #wheeloftime #expanse #beer #bourbon
ANAÏS NINJA @michikoconuts
8K Followers 2K Following MORE PERSNICKETY THAN EVER https://t.co/9tHvo7JT1X
Invisible Blue Check .. @foxux
1K Followers 3K Following "...he made a trump(et) of his ass" -It's from The Divine Comedy, so it's actually very classy. Proudly blocked by Gorka. #BLM #resist #freerealitywinner
RobFM²: Back in the .. @RobIsOuttaHere
1K Followers 946 Following my standup debut: https://t.co/9RpylJcJJU sorry in advance
🌻Heather🌻 @BoobsNAnxiety
12K Followers 11K Following #NSFW! 🚫Minors. 420💨 Married to @chrisismyname87💍#NFL #CowboysNation⭐ #ChiefsKingdom 🏈🚫DM #WWE #RKO #Rhea💪I repost A LOT! #Taurus ♉ #Liberal🌊
Disheveled Mom @wittysnuggles
5K Followers 6K Following Not my real name. 40s toddler mom. Unapologetically blunt relationship therapist. Featured on @MSNBC @CNN @FoxNews @SternShow @NYPost
Pokémon Go Friends @pokemongoadding
12K Followers 759 Following The best place to find new Pokémon Go friends 🚶🚶♀️🚶♂️ Just #pokemongoadding or tag this account and we will retweet everything. 2050-5217-1856
Old Country Buffet @ocbuffetco
359 Followers 744 Following America's premier buffet restarurant offering a delicious variety of foob items for lunch, dinner, and dessernt.
Name cannot be blank @dankcharnley
8K Followers 8K Following Classically Trained Comic • Enthusiast • Writerist • Cartoonist • Avid Reader of Smut • Rib Sauce Judge 🤟 Who Hurt Me?: https://t.co/pQ7raaF6uy
Jen-Xtra @jenjamn515
1K Followers 2K Following Came for the political activism; stayed for the reality TV. Can't stand posts that tell me to let that sink in. I like foodie twitter too. Roevember is coming.
ggordonlightfoot @lnlyhntr
108 Followers 538 Following union booster, closeted philatelist, aspiring wife-guy, cat-haver, amateur dog walker, bird watcher, tree hugger, record collector, hifi enthusiast
Andi @andiindarkmode
98 Followers 76 Following formerly @smiles_and_nods It’s gone now and I don’t think I can get it back.
Hello! My Name Is: Hu.. @AKlein1981
1K Followers 4K Following Wubba Lubba Dub Dub. Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV.
Aidy @NightsWithAidy
214 Followers 360 Following Everybody loves an independent woman until they want to tell her what to do. Get in, loser. We're taking this clown show on the road.
Mostly True News @MostlyTrueNews_
3K Followers 4K Following Solving for what's missing culturally. Hint. It rhymes with awareness. And it starts with an ‘f’ ...fairness
🇺🇦Gnome de Guer.. @Gnome_DeGuerre
1K Followers 3K Following I enjoy overthinking and worrying about things over which I have no control. Neil Gaiman retweeted me. Formerly @ryno_san. RN. #Sober φιλόμαστος now on b sky
Tory S @ToryS25Beardown
1K Followers 2K Following Bears Fan, Ducks Fan, Stanford Cardinal Fan, Football Fan, Mason Bee Fan, Came here first for football, but found a lot of funny folks. Mom and wife. 🐻⬇️🦆🌲
Duchess Anna of Banan.. @duchess_banana
24K Followers 5K Following Food, sports, and filth. Distributing the finest word vomit since 2019. @VancityReynolds liked one of my tweets once.
Pessimus Prime respaw.. @_pessimusprime
770 Followers 381 Following They tried to cancel me. They failed. No one will stop me tweeting about Barry Chuckle. YOU HEAR ME ELON?
Kathy in KOOKY-town; .. @ChattyKathyGB
350 Followers 396 Following Perfectly imperfect. Jesus is my Lord and Savior. God blessed me with a generous heart and a wackadoodle sense of humor. My cup runneth over. Kindness matters.
Lab Rat C137 @Screameater
772 Followers 757 Following this is where I post art, jokes, and random thoughts. https://t.co/ON5wxcK4yJ
jocular99/downward fl.. @jocular99b
251 Followers 606 Following jocular99 = beat, offbeat, electronic ≈======================= downward float = ambient, drone #bandcamp
Mr J in the UK @mrjintheuk
38K Followers 30K Following Time to be a twit on twitter. I think I can achieve a fairly high level of competence in that...
@Marlebean @paminski Look it up every way you can think of. Google it, research meaning, spellings, synonyms, check the census.
Expecting Parents, PLEASE I beg you Please look at what your child's name will be spelled backwards. Sincerely, Marlana
and then one day adult beverages means metamucil and pepto bismol
Emails be like unsubscribe here and then they send you an email to tell you you’ve unsubscribed.
Congrats, YouTube. the algorithm really nailed my 10 year-old with ads for boxed wine, divorce attorneys and the swiffer wet jet
When your 8 year old gets in trouble at school for spelling curse words with scrabble tiles in school, it’s not appropriate to say “well, that’s fucking hilarious.” I know this now.
(Falling asleep) My body: hey let's play whac-a-mole except with an itch
Get yourself a girl who prioritizes. My wife left her inhaler at home to make room in her purse for the m&ms we wanted to smuggle into the movie
christian bale: i am batman christian braille: ⠊ ⠁⠍ ⠃⠁⠞⠍⠁⠝
@paminski it's already taken away some of my jobs that only i can do cause i have to work from home! :D
*catching up with an old friend* how have you been. Do you still like Sunny Delight?
If you put Shakespeare in a room with a typewriter for an infinite amount of time, he’d eventually come up with the complete works of the Monkees
Has anyone tried giving that rage against the machine guy a snickers
me: dating is hard me on a date: why would a bull even be in a china shop to begin with
WWIII is trending and i don’t know what to wear for the occasion
What’s your favorite animal author? Mine is Edgar Allan Polar Bear
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