Jeremy timmons @Jeremytimmons
Poker player, or whatever. Dallas Joined May 2009-
Tweets5K
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Followers369
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Following667
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Likes37K
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
Life insurance is just a major corporation saying "nah you're not gonna die soon", and you're like "care to make this interesting?"
Goodbye, Mr. Heckles. We’ll try to keep it down.
Ok, you English people can talk about Celsius and Kilograms all day, but once you start calling the letter Z "zed" I'm out. Talk like that at home.
Firing 8 pints of lager into the MyFitnessPal app food diary because I am a man of honour
Me when the temp on the thermostat goes from 75 to 74:
Did you know you can just watch Gomer Pyle USMC for free on YouTube? What's the point of Netflix?
Overheard at the bar right now: "Bro your hair is feathered as fuck! Can I touch it?"
Me cooking: *Googles how to cook eggs* Me watching MasterChef: He JUST flipped the chicken with 70 seconds to go?!! Fuckin idiot.
This is genius 😂 #COVID19
Mood
Honestly the way people are so proud they know what day of the week it is, is truly sick.
I stayed up for 30 hours to reset my sleep schedule and then slept for 16 hours instead. Turns out after 12 hours or so your brain gets bored of regular dreams and it's all nightmares from then on. I'm good at running from murderers.
Allen Kessler @AllenKessler
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1K Followers 822 FollowingWant to thank everyone that came out tonight. Lots of people came and spoke I appreciate supporting our concept. I also recognize lots of people who spoke against were trying to do whats best for their town. Overall they were respectful. Lots of great people in Farmers Branch.
@SrslySirius @DougPolkVids LMAO this is gold. The irony of Doug blocking a sign isn’t lost on me.
At least we has some laughs along the way
@Jeremytimmons @CaitlinComeskey @SrslySirius @DougPolkVids I loved what you said. Always wild how many people in a conservative area are against letting people make government-free decisions.
@scottjf8 @DougPolkVids Breaaaaaaaaaking news, THIS JUST IN!
@scottjf8 @DougPolkVids "First you checked, but then went you faced a bet you RAISED IT"
She's yelling directly at @DougPolkVids
@DougPolkVids This guy is a legend, should be the spokesman for the farmer’s branch room
@SrslySirius @DougPolkVids This hearing was incredible
@SrslySirius @DougPolkVids This is a scene from parks and rec
@HCLPokerShow Addamo will get allin more than the rest of the table combined
Anyone care to share with me the pot odds Hero is getting on this river call? Hero holds KK preflop, BTW
I’m at the airport, and they’ve played “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor about 7 times in the past hour. Thinking maybe it’s just positive affirmations for all the Boeing passengers.
Sooooo I posted the picture on the left and someone inquired about my services (SFX scars ) so I thought lol and I texted her back with a deal of $100 cause why not 😩 and this was her response, I just can’t believe this yall 😩😩😂😂🤦🏾♀️