McDad @mcdadstuff
Former Twitter “funny” dad Joined December 2021-
Tweets19K
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Followers9K
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Following2K
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Likes61K
things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room and you only went in there sometimes
ticketmaster will literally log you out an hour before your concert, delete your password, lock your account, shoot your dog, and then make you go to your mom’s email address that doesnt exist anymore to get your ticket
I now understand why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour
Got a new sponge today and was really excited because it was so scrubby and god being an adult is depressing
The song of the summer is the "Nothing is everything" jingle from the Skyrizi Crohn’s disease pharmaceutical commercial
Remember when the schtick of streaming services was that you didn’t get commercials? What a bait and switch that was.
I see a lot of people out walking or working out in a weighted vest. Is the weight of the world not enough for you?
[guy naming weeds] this one looks like a lion, but dandier
i lied there’s no sex but there is a spider situation i need you to take care of
It was weird going to college before smartphones. One time while out at a bar none of us could remember the name of Fleetwood Mac’s drummer so I called my dad at 2am.
doing stuff after work and not just on the weekends is how you can feel life is worth living.
“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore
DMV: Did you bring your fourth grade report card?
My wife just walked up to me and gave me an unexpected impassioned, full body kiss, then stared me straight in the eye - a deep soul to soul stare - and said, "I just hit a possum with the lawnmower."
Officially sick of everything there is to eat for dinner. There are no more dinners left.
One year you stopped having piñatas at your birthday parties which is crazy because as an adult it seems far more necessary to pummel something at least once a year

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