Dan Carney @DanManCarney
comedian, actor, click the link if you want to see me live (live, not live) beacons.ai/danmancarney New York, NY Joined August 2016-
Tweets7K
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Followers15K
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Following4K
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Likes33K
I had the opportunity to check out the first ever heroin dispensary
Some more lovely messages from Taylor swift fans
You’re stopping me to ask me for the time? In 2024? How about I just buy you the gun to shoot me with
The moral fabric of our society has eroded. No further questions at this time
When I say I’m playing pool I mean I’m buying an 8 ball from cousin Ricky from Orlando
Guy who requests Night Moves by Bob Seger at the bar every five minutes
You probably think this is gay don’t you white boy
Back shots in the park sounds like a beautiful day
Need one other dude and a chick to go see Challengers tonight. So far it’s just me
Dare them to try this on my block.
Dare them to try this on my block.
I used to smoke rocks, and now I climb them. Life is beautiful
Perfect picture to use here
Perfect picture to use here
Whoever gets paid to tweet this I want their job
Whoever gets paid to tweet this I want their job
If the analytics and marketing department says it’s not funny then it’s not funny
If the analytics and marketing department says it’s not funny then it’s not funny
Shane Gillis @Shanemgillis
449K Followers 833 Following Matt and Shane’s secret podcast : Gilly & Keeves
Devan Costa @DevanCosta
17K Followers 456 Following Firm believer that reality died with Kobe… Podcasts: Hate Watch with Devan Costa and @lemonpartyshow https://t.co/6FVGzVKxKA
Michael Rainey @mikerainey82
26K Followers 2K Following
Collie Tyrrell @columtyrrell
28K Followers 2K Following Mostly clips. Click my pinned tweet. The Colum Tyrrell Podcast. Host Tuesday Night Comedy in NYC. Live dates and all other stuff on my website.
Tommy Bayer @tommybayertime
19K Followers 871 Following doin stand up for now @wecoolpodcast email me for stuff [email protected]
Mike Recine @mikerecine
36K Followers 3K Following My special is on YouTube right now and you can watch it here: https://t.co/whJKJbPPJN
90 Day Fidance @ianimal69
35K Followers 2K Following CIGS // SKA // CATS // i go where eagles dare / My debut special WILD HAPPY & FREE, Bein Ian with Jordan podcast & patreon + tour dates ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Kevin Ryan @KevinRyanComedy
24K Followers 865 Following Stand up comic & cohost of Are You Garbage? Podcast. Get yourself a Kippy.
Dan Wickes @dan_wickes
12K Followers 3K Following NYC standup. Winner of the 2021 Coney Island Comedy Festival. See me at House Party Cafe every Saturday at 9 (tix in linktree). he/him
H. Foley @HFoleyComedy
25K Followers 404 Following I drink melk with dinner and keep my butter on the counter. @AreYouGarbage Podcast Every Monday and Thursday. LINKS/ LIVE DATES/ MERCH⬇️
Josh Potter @J_Potter
40K Followers 3K Following “The Josh Potter Show” is out every Wednesday. Shows/Podcast/Everything👇🏻🪳🪳🪳🪳
Ted Barton @TedBartonComedy
12K Followers 9K Following This is hard because I want to be myself, but I also want you to like me. instagram @tedbartoncomedy for stand up clips
Matthew Levy @MattLevy51
14K Followers 14K Following Stand up comic. Sketch maker. Newsletter writer. Married to @annaphilomena. Crouton appreciator. Writes profiles. Check Medium link below and DM if interested.
shawn gardini @shwangardini
22K Followers 539 Following comedy show link is below pls come to Goodnights in Raleigh NC June 6
Solidarity with Colum.. @OrangeFreddyG
9K Followers 4K Following Never gonna have a blue check, always gonna be real. Standup Comic and Leftist. 45 million views on Social Media. History Pod⬇️
Savage 🏴☠️ @QueenOfRespawn
6K Followers 6K Following Lady Goon. Savage. 🖤 Pronouns: Glock/Sig. Equal Opportunity Offender. Also known as Pro 2A Hotel Concierge. Anti-Communist/Feminist. Don't Tread Here🐍. ♥️
Brenden McCafferty @BrendenMcCaff
1K Followers 710 Following
Mystic @MysticNinja808
5 Followers 123 Following epic videogamer; here for funny things and cool art
hasan57 @Hasan57_06
53 Followers 402 Following
Fortwart225 @fortwart225
140 Followers 1K Following
❔ @fredwardsays
515 Followers 3K Following
XHabib @RealXHabib
17K Followers 3K Following My goal is to leave this world in a better place than I came into it 🇱🇧 | Follow my twin: @HabibiCapital_
Not Shamrin Danial @shamrindanial
89 Followers 142 Following
Josiah Whitten @josiahwhitten
170 Followers 382 Following Investment Advisor, Dad of boys. Delusional #Knicks #jets fan
DenverDan @dan3_denver
3 Followers 294 Following
Nathaniel @1he2997M9N1G9rx
40 Followers 1K Following 風雨を経験しなければ、虹を見ることはできない。磨かれなければ、ダイヤモンドになることはできない。堅持して、奮闘して、夢はついに実現します！頑張って！
michael shelton @5shelton
41 Followers 492 Following
Osika Lissa @LissaOsika46321
1 Followers 70 Following
Dude @dude01434287
10 Followers 463 Following
Sinan @CantSto67306929
137 Followers 3K Following
Pétur Jónsson @JonssonPetur
19 Followers 713 Following An Icelandic father and husband in New Jersey. Forza Malmö FF
Nishiez @Nishiez11740
158 Followers 3K Following
caitlin / puke (was a.. @slowpuke_
36K Followers 325 Following are you with me, Dr. Wu!? twitch partner live every sat-tues | https://t.co/eCOBarPec4
jared brennan @juche4L
53 Followers 143 Following
navid @navv1d
18 Followers 181 Following
Joe @JoeWalkerWebb26
1K Followers 5K Following
DX @alextim2
167 Followers 664 Following
frank @dcinaus
91 Followers 158 Following
Porn Corporation @PornCorp
33K Followers 28K Following Porn Corporation online adult entertainment magazine brings you up to date inside news on the newest porn sites. The freshest adult industry content updates.18+
AmABOOB @TheListMaker
3 Followers 4K Following
Enzo Lorenzo @EnzoLorenzo101
16K Followers 8K Following 199X♤MaleStraight♤RN♤all contents are mine except the icon♤ loves to Explore♤into BDSM♤Amateur Pornstar♤DM me for your pic & intention on Telegram: @Hero_dude90
Jake @Degree1346
118 Followers 2K Following
Ginger Bear(ish) @Micah91176035
300 Followers 2K Following Ginger Bear, Admirer of the male form 💪🏼👐 Outdoor enthusiast 🏔🏝🏕 Food lover 🍽 Wine lover 🍷 Homesteader. 🐕🐂🐖🐓🦃🦆🪿
Sean Bagley @SeanBagley17
170 Followers 2K Following
Yomismo @Yomismo91141294
158 Followers 2K Following
abby @budm1ser
1K Followers 416 Following I recently learned I have been taking the wrong medication for some time.
villainous.cinema. @EvanLandon
18K Followers 11K Following Host of Villainous Cinema. Ravenclaw Sigma. Chaotic Neutral 4-Life. Amateur surgeon. Part-time psychiatrist. Prob asleep. #MutantFam #GoBolts
Thais @thais_xyz
65 Followers 533 Following
Mmmmm @Mmmmm30963946
278 Followers 2K Following
Harlon Hill @Jkavs55
429 Followers 1K Following
Dr. Cranjis McBasketb.. @amberyllis_
971 Followers 374 Following the other, other Tom Cruise (former hate account)
Noah🦁 @ioxnos
566 Followers 3K Following
yannispappas @yannispappas
154K Followers 727 Following Scientist/Journalist. (he/haw). Yannis Pappas Hour: https://t.co/LnKEwh8hjl
Shane Gillis @Shanemgillis
449K Followers 833 Following Matt and Shane’s secret podcast : Gilly & Keeves
Sam Morril @sammorril
215K Followers 930 Following Stand-up Comic. Knicks fan. See me in your city: https://t.co/NGdY2cYtXP
Luis J. Gomez @luisjgomez
145K Followers 1K Following I am a comedian. Anything I say here is a joke. 🇵🇷🐍 | 2024 Tour Dates https://t.co/53D914BAd5
Devan Costa @DevanCosta
17K Followers 456 Following Firm believer that reality died with Kobe… Podcasts: Hate Watch with Devan Costa and @lemonpartyshow https://t.co/6FVGzVKxKA
Michael Rainey @mikerainey82
26K Followers 2K Following
Collie Tyrrell @columtyrrell
28K Followers 2K Following Mostly clips. Click my pinned tweet. The Colum Tyrrell Podcast. Host Tuesday Night Comedy in NYC. Live dates and all other stuff on my website.
McKeever @JohnnyMcKeever
29K Followers 429 Following
Joe List @JoeListComedy
112K Followers 1K Following I'm a comedian and I have a 3 one hour comedy specials available for free on YouTube. “I Hate Myself” & “This Years Material” & “Enough For Everybody”
Tommy Bayer @tommybayertime
19K Followers 871 Following doin stand up for now @wecoolpodcast email me for stuff [email protected]
Mike Recine @mikerecine
36K Followers 3K Following My special is on YouTube right now and you can watch it here: https://t.co/whJKJbPPJN
90 Day Fidance @ianimal69
35K Followers 2K Following CIGS // SKA // CATS // i go where eagles dare / My debut special WILD HAPPY & FREE, Bein Ian with Jordan podcast & patreon + tour dates ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Kevin Ryan @KevinRyanComedy
24K Followers 865 Following Stand up comic & cohost of Are You Garbage? Podcast. Get yourself a Kippy.
Dan Wickes @dan_wickes
12K Followers 3K Following NYC standup. Winner of the 2021 Coney Island Comedy Festival. See me at House Party Cafe every Saturday at 9 (tix in linktree). he/him
H. Foley @HFoleyComedy
25K Followers 404 Following I drink melk with dinner and keep my butter on the counter. @AreYouGarbage Podcast Every Monday and Thursday. LINKS/ LIVE DATES/ MERCH⬇️
Josh Potter @J_Potter
40K Followers 3K Following “The Josh Potter Show” is out every Wednesday. Shows/Podcast/Everything👇🏻🪳🪳🪳🪳
Ted Barton @TedBartonComedy
12K Followers 9K Following This is hard because I want to be myself, but I also want you to like me. instagram @tedbartoncomedy for stand up clips
Robin B Carney @CarneyRobi27123
1 Followers 2 Following
Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
56K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔
philosophy for life @philosophy_life
173K Followers 0 Following Greatest Quotes from the wisest people who ever lived on earth | FOLLOW for daily motivation, inspiration, philosophy
Michael Grier @OleGriersy
12K Followers 2K Following Liability, seven feet tall, not Elon Musk, TMZ Live correspondent ⬜️
GIRTHMASTERR 🇦🇺.. @girthmasterr
621K Followers 3K Following Australian adult creator & himbo with a nice 🍆 Everybody is welcome 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Montessori Boy @montessoriboy
17K Followers 58 Following sketch comedy from 3 upstanding honor roll scholars🧍♂️asian @cowboyscary 🧍♂️gay @juliatesmond 🧍♂️normal @newdiegoabraham
metaphor man @shitbiscuit
33K Followers 5K Following
Jake Velazquez @jakevcomedy
9 Followers 69 Following
Patches O’Houlihan @sondraa
70K Followers 1K Following when life gives you lemons, just say fuck the lemons and bail
Nitehawk Cinema @nitehawkcinema
16K Followers 687 Following Films. Food. Drinks. Nitehawk combines first-run and repertory film programming with tableside food and beverage service.
REID POPE DUMB IDIOT @rpopetweets
5K Followers 2K Following gay jewish pope | 🏄♂️playwright🏄♂️ | head writer @latestagelive | https://t.co/CXlKb9yPqc | https://t.co/dzA0dAPbuP | they/them
Natalie Palamides @natdogkatdog
11K Followers 464 Following my comedy special, Nate: A One Man Show, is on Netflix
i can be your long lo.. @PallaviGunalan
93K Followers 2K Following
summer ♡ @summerahrens
25K Followers 1K Following angel, famous actress, model. NOT a national security threat. image lover.⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀
John Denver ✌️ ( .. @JohnDParody
11K Followers 3K Following Starting our new journey together. Peace ✌️ 🌮
HoopDiamonds @HoopDiamonds
17K Followers 2K Following High Definition Basketball Content. Powered by @Playmaker.
ShitpostGateway @ShitpostGate
1.3M Followers 2K Following Love Shitposting and posting whatever I want/mostly memes/some personal stuff I like. Love old school stuff including weapons.
The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana
314K Followers 7K Following 20X+ Viral Tweeter, Artist/Musician/Meme Queen/Content Creator/Tarot Reader/Ramen lover 🤎🐈 tips appreciated for coffee ! ☕️💤
Natalia Queen ♛ @theNataliaQueen
224K Followers 235 Following Professional Good Girl💗 join my porn site I love when you watch my marshmallow booty ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ I only respond on https://t.co/mXq0URpqtw https://t.co/4EKcrLSfPf
Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau
89K Followers 1K Following Comedian, Writer, Founder of Persona Essential Social Media Management, writer of @GrimAndGraham
C*ntbot, PhD @pacino_girl
6K Followers 984 Following ♡ Love you more (than those bitches before) ♡ @dontcareplaying girl & scholar
*“Volk” intensifi.. @TinctureDrone
9K Followers 502 Following Recent tweets: https://t.co/mGubi6Jq9c
Stan Denshaw “parod.. @OptometristDan
15K Followers 4K Following (parody)Probably crushing beers. Not affiliated with Dan Crenshaw. Forklift certified.
hickey! @HickeyShamer
97K Followers 758 Following upbeat quirky music. good man in a storm. …. @hickeyshamekink if ur into that
Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel
47K Followers 1K Following Writer -- Single Parents, President Show, New Girl, Kroll Show, Workaholics. On Bluesky with the same handle.
weeping uncontrollably at skee ball because my nephew whiffed a five leg parlay and now I can't afford dental
DAVE & BUSTER’S TO ALLOW CUSTOMERS TO BET ON ARCADE GAMES Dave & Buster’s $PLAY will begin letting loyalty members over the age of 18 place real money wagers on arcade games with friends through the company’s app - CNBC
Are there any men out there who have a favorite bird that is not an eagle? Every single man I have ever asked said "eagle".
This reminds me of @DanManCarney 🤔
Frogs taxidermy found inside French mansion that had been sealed for 100 years
Every time I step into a kitchen like this I get the urge to underage drink
Imagine how embarrassing this take would be if the other creator of Seinfeld had made one of the funniest shows of all-time that had no worry about offending people and ended this literal month.
Jerry Seinfeld says TV comedy is being hurt by "the extreme left and P.C. crap, and people worrying so much about offending other people." “It used to be, you would go home at the end of the day, most people would go, ‘Oh, “Cheers” is on. Oh, “MASH” is on. Oh, “Mary Tyler Moore”…
me and the bad bitch I met on twitter
Found an amazing deal on 100 dollars
Get a load of this dingaling
My meme from last year is even funnier now that I know how the rest of the scene goes
Medieval peasant ass dog
i just know that chick has weapons grade vocal fry
Another night Djing @ The Saint. New Orleans love me lol #qbabyworldwide
@startled__squid @DanManCarney @CaptainEtouffee @derekjdrescher I know. The point is that in a year or two, we’ll be seeing actual articles like this.
If you get a chance, you should reconsider that third one.
The best new TV shows of 2024 (so far), as chosen by Vulture’s critics. Our favorites include ‘Shōgun,’ ‘Girls5eva,’ and ‘True Detective: Night Country.’ trib.al/vGlRdN0
@DanManCarney @CaptainEtouffee @derekjdrescher I hate that I can’t tell if this is satire or not.
The amount of psychic damage I will be dealt if I see Jake Paul knock Mike Tyson out cold is frankly immeasurable
New rules for Mike Tyson vs Jake Paul: - The bout is an officially sanctioned professional fight. - The result will be recorded on official records. - Knockouts are permitted. - The fight will consist of eight 2-minute rounds. - Fighters will wear 14-ounce gloves. - No headgear…
Too legit
I had the opportunity to check out the first ever heroin dispensary
@DanManCarney @derekjdrescher Champagne Poppy 💀 good shit Dan
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