Joey Garcia @NotJosephGarcia
I have been diagnosed with severe pleasance. DM me the worst thing you’ve ever done in the world. jgarciaworks.wixsite.com/writing Joined August 2017-
Tweets10K
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Followers7K
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Following997
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Likes38K
Jerry Seinfeld: you can’t make sitcoms today Everyone: what about Ted Lasso? Seinfeld: Um… Everyone: And Shrinking? And Abbott Elementary? And Animal Control? And Rick & Morty? Seinfeld: those don’t count for reasons. Everyone: Well I guess he has a point
Lots of people saying this is fake. Then explain this photo.
Lots of people saying this is fake. Then explain this photo. https://t.co/Xdn8M1lKB8
(Me with a sexy guy and a sexy girl at a movie theater) Three tickets for Challengers, please. We’re going to be inspired by the events in the movie to fuck a little bit later on.
Somebody just paid me this because I was so funny/talented.
[me as a pilot on the intercom] I’m gonna do my best to not cause all of us to pass away tonight
The most unrealistic thing about the sopranos is that tony never looked at us through the screen and started screaming and begging us to help him get out of the TV
You should only sit in the emergency exit row of an airplane if you’re confident in evaluating who should live and who should die.
[trying to make small talk on first date] so do you fuck with debit cards?
Found an amazing deal on 100 dollars
The horny are probably down to fuck sometime soon.
My child gets so pissed off at me anytime I make his childhood bad.
Setting boundaries in a relationship is important. I just told my girlfriend she’s not allowed to text Cartman anymore.
Thin waists on men are so slutty. It indicates they fuck quite a bit.
Andrew Callaghan can get this pussy. His insightful videos are just that vital.
They’re making m&ms that have meat inside of them
I’m hanging out with the intellectual powerhouses of “Dimes Square.” I’m convincing them to become woke.
Cameron Bradford @camerobradford
25K Followers 979 Following Take my hand, we'll weather this storm together.
Daggerlad @Daggerlad2
36K Followers 953 Following Stories to tell your grandchildren. @lilmeaties factory worker
❥ 𝑪𝒐𝒇𝒇�.. @tonyhawktruther
35K Followers 1K Following I’m Neil… Care to join me? All payouts donated to FIRST Collective, an organization which provides support to homeless people in my community. Cheers x
matt @mattybtweets69
16K Followers 1K Following @HBO, @netflix, @TheOnion | Don’t work for any of those places, they’re just some companies I like
rock and roll photos @yesitsmyaccount
35K Followers 985 Following writer for @yesitsmyaccount/drums for Ames Harding & The Mirage
cranny boy LEGACY ACC.. @cranny_boy
6K Followers 1K Following == PRESERVED FOR CULTURAL AND HISTORICAL SIGNIFICANCE == Follow @cranny__boy for the latest crannyverse news and information!
Premiles The Scribe �.. @premiles_
6K Followers 978 Following I took a walk through this #beautiful world. Felt the #cool #rain on my shoulders. @gulchpod
Gunga @KingDad42
7K Followers 989 Following Mm, can't beat a Jolt Cola. 2x caffeine, twice the fun. Am I right. Or am I right?
pierce @cringe_genius
10K Followers 694 Following elvis meme. yarb sale sign. caleb’s birthday poem. 2020 truthpoint election special
meaghan @d0llyfartin
10 Followers 72 Following
b @camdiazsarmpit
149 Followers 572 Following
Brolike 🪂 🍻 @Gflobow
62 Followers 157 Following
VizijaRaja @Sacrococyx
13 Followers 330 Following
Vlad the Penetrator @CountScurvy
43 Followers 120 Following
frank @dcinaus
92 Followers 158 Following
Doctor Rabbit @TheDoctorRabbit
47 Followers 171 Following
😶🌫️ @chaiconsumer
117 Followers 312 Following
🐥 @Tomforthechase
6 Followers 53 Following
🔜 @wa77f7ower
2 Followers 46 Following
Joyce Allen @1joyce_Allen
87 Followers 528 Following An attitude of gratitude creates blessings 🙏 God first | I Love my family 👪 ❤ | God bless America 🇺🇸 🙏 | John 3:16 🤲
andrew @intellegint
42K Followers 771 Following ICU nurse from Detroit in Denver. Art posts are my own. Listen to @e1podcast
Bob ‘Buddy’ Foste.. @bobbuddyfoster
408 Followers 754 Following Just a cranky, and crazy, old man making snarky comments. Calling out and cutting through the BS! Telling it like it is! Pronouns Old/Angry
Audrey S @SS32334
1 Followers 47 Following
Katie D'Angelo @KatlynDAngelo
296 Followers 566 Following Infamously a one-time caption contest runner-up for a Sex And The City themed Instagram account
sierra rold @sierrarold
765 Followers 415 Following horror aficionado | adam sandler stan | self-proclaimed badass bitch | rocker through and through
𝖍𝖎𝖇𝖎𝖘�.. @kapposyan
1K Followers 5K Following Cofounder @SurfaceDwellers. ✍🏼: @StrangeHorizons @SeizeThePress_ @WitchCraftMag @OutlookSprings, etc. Crossfaded in Narnia (@Eibonvale). #SacramentoProud
Jones @Jones1546522
18 Followers 112 Following
M@ @underclvss
452 Followers 310 Following
Michael Kandel @K_A_N_D_E_L
8K Followers 1K Following Intimacy Coordinator, Tracker (CBS). Formerly: Intimacy Coordinator, Bob ❤️ Abishola (CBS). @hotelartthief
CobLobber @CobLobber
15 Followers 28 Following
Proper “Gaussian bl.. @frances____fite
493 Followers 754 Following I'm not bored or unhappy I'm still so strange and wild!!!!!!
Cameron Bradford @camerobradford
25K Followers 979 Following Take my hand, we'll weather this storm together.
Daggerlad @Daggerlad2
36K Followers 953 Following Stories to tell your grandchildren. @lilmeaties factory worker
❥ 𝑪𝒐𝒇𝒇�.. @tonyhawktruther
35K Followers 1K Following I’m Neil… Care to join me? All payouts donated to FIRST Collective, an organization which provides support to homeless people in my community. Cheers x
matt @mattybtweets69
16K Followers 1K Following @HBO, @netflix, @TheOnion | Don’t work for any of those places, they’re just some companies I like
rock and roll photos @yesitsmyaccount
35K Followers 985 Following writer for @yesitsmyaccount/drums for Ames Harding & The Mirage
cranny boy LEGACY ACC.. @cranny_boy
6K Followers 1K Following == PRESERVED FOR CULTURAL AND HISTORICAL SIGNIFICANCE == Follow @cranny__boy for the latest crannyverse news and information!
Premiles The Scribe �.. @premiles_
6K Followers 978 Following I took a walk through this #beautiful world. Felt the #cool #rain on my shoulders. @gulchpod
Gunga @KingDad42
7K Followers 989 Following Mm, can't beat a Jolt Cola. 2x caffeine, twice the fun. Am I right. Or am I right?
😶🌫️ @chaiconsumer
117 Followers 312 Following
peach! @impeachpicnic
7K Followers 319 Following the entity you know as ''peachpicnic'' is simply an amalgamation of 21 ghostwriters, driven insane by prolonged CIA torture. @impeachpanic for mutuals ONLY‼️‼️
Lights Camera Jackson @LCJReviews
10K Followers 717 Following Jackson Murphy. Emmy-Winning Film Critic, Producer, Animation Scoop Reporter. LCJ Q&A Podcast, “2Fast 2Films” & LCJ LIVE Host. “My Very Rocky Christmas” Author.
Nicole 💙 @NicoleBansen
2K Followers 2K Following (she/her) Social media wiz. Producer extraordinaire. NY➡️LA | prev. Social & Community Manager @TheGuard @OS__Studios & @washjustice | PFP by: @starrypalettes
Gamine @sokkablu3
3K Followers 313 Following as a way of getting in touch with my origins, every night i set the alarm clock for the time i was born, so that waking up becomes a historical reenactment
Jeremy Schmidt @Ocarinaofcrime
509 Followers 408 Following Comedian/Writer - Host of @vgacomedyshow - The New Deal/Hail Mary/Loveseat (Maude) @ UCB LA.
Ann Manov @ann_manov
6K Followers 953 Following
░m░a░s░ @midi_wizard
2K Followers 590 Following COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN Event manager at Coaxial Arts I make eyesores on photoshop. they/she. 🏳️⚧️ IG: midi_wizard
NotEli 🇸🇳🇲�.. @eralldisliker
420 Followers 807 Following Professional bag chaser. Long Live Qing Grindset😭😭💔🕊️
hil @plume__
4K Followers 1K Following
ella (tiktok: @blonde.. @blondehotcoffee
2K Followers 2K Following i only tweet when i’m high or manic
furby hancock @furby_hancock
11K Followers 454 Following there's probably a lot of upsides to suffering that we just haven't thought of yet
Spencer Campbell 🇰.. @Scambl
1K Followers 5K Following director of social at @theorycraft_inc. wrote tweets, tiktoks, etc for @xbox, @callofduty, @playvalorant. 250k+ on tiktok if you think that’s cool
Melanie @Rabbit__Year
997 Followers 417 Following Recipe development, cookbook zines and other projects. I don't have an alt! @ICould_Eat
Pictoplasma @pictoplasma
16K Followers 1K Following Global character design appreciation via festivals, conferences, publications, exhibitions, academy masterclasses + online community network
beer person @CantEverDie
132K Followers 2K Following JUNE - L’CHAIM - TRANS DISINFO INFLUENCER - podcasting on @WesternKabuki & @CrateDiving - streaming games on https://t.co/kXjet8u2M2
Freddy @CannyExecutive
5K Followers 614 Following
Dopey The Dumbfuck @pete_irons87206
8K Followers 1K Following
Evan Brando, CEO of M.. @EvanBrandoShow
1K Followers 4K Following Award winning Radio Host @99X and @coollocalmusic, cartoons, Twitch affiliate. A handsome young man and a pleasure to have in class. He/Him.
verb @sierras_account
554 Followers 280 Following
Dan Licata @danlicatasucks
23K Followers 1K Following stand-up comedian, writer (SNL, Joe Pera Talks With You). i am still in high school Chicago 5/12, Milwaukee 5/14, Minneapolis 5/16, Philly 5/19
Sam Pink 👎 @sampinkisalive
6K Followers 262 Following Premier Entertainer Sam///pink////is////alive///g////mail
Gayest Tone @gayest_tone
17K Followers 4K Following
@DevonBitxxz @DevonBitxxz
8K Followers 112 Following I make funny YouTube videos https://t.co/A1pNKCWruZ New Cameo
Nia @Nia_mp4
10K Followers 3K Following 2am semi-sweet chocolate chips snacker and Psychotic Capitalization enthusiast w/ a Science Degree https://t.co/KxoaQOdQEz
alex furlin @thefurlinator
11K Followers 1K Following headline contributor @theonion • freelance copywriter • [email protected] • i miss my grandma
dearest creature @cynth_wave
908 Followers 533 Following
Just tell us how many muscles
There are over 20 muscles in the head and neck alone. They are responsible for mastication, facial expressions by controlling the mouth, eyes, nose, forehead and ears, and complex movements of the neck. [🎞️ SciePro]
Yeah I’m not letting a spoon decide how much I should eat
The hole in a spaghetti spoon may be used as a measuring gauge as a serving for one person
@NotJosephGarcia This is a huge investment opportunity for someone with the requisite capital
If my trash is your treasure you’re a perv
i drew these butterflies for benny
I'm going in order of how many butterflies they made - Next up is @SHAUMBE ! Not all of the sketches ended up as final ideas, but maybe I should have used the tramp stamp one....
a prophecy is being fulfilled
It’s Biden’s last day in office. “Hey everyone. If you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone for a bit.” Staff leaves. Biden sits on the floor of the Oval Office, cracks open a cold one, puts his aviator shades on and gives himself the craziest self suck of all time.
300 mg Black Rifle Coffee. 4 squares of psilocybin chocolate. Finasteride and minoxidil gummy. Diarrhea smoothie. Let’s go to work.
No one believes in this video. but i do
That quiet time of day when everybody is working
Today is my birthday. I feel really positive about the future, even if there many pitfalls, cannibals, and demons lurking along the path. Love you guys, you make me laugh daily
I'm actually glad my girlfriend dumped me. Now, I'm hooking up with 2 guys... Ben & Jerry.
Sensible multi-messiah crucifixes such as this are illegal to build in most US cities
My inflation life hack? I go to five separate grocery stores and save $6
Pretended to be a huge fan of this really annoying food critic and he asked if I’d like a picture with him
If you’ve never been moved by a work of art, it’s probably because you already have much beauty within you. If music cannot touch you, if you’ve never smiled or laughed at a joke, it’s likely because you produce melody and good humor endogenously.
Wrong. Only a handful of people can make art that looks better than AI. Most human art is folksy garbage that pedants fetishize for its “homemade” quality. Sure, keep at it if it’s therapeutic, but don’t force me to look at your scribbles just because they were made with “soul.”
No that is not how AI works. This is how it works. (image by @RonDanChan; see also: x.com/o_guest/status…)
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