Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau
Comedian, Writer, Founder of Persona Essential Social Media Management, writer of @GrimAndGraham PersonaEssential.com Chicago, IL Joined May 2016-
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Followers89K
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wtf else was he supposed to do? not like he could binge netflix
okay so did we just stop trying to solve healthcare or what?
okay so did we just stop trying to solve healthcare or what?
mom: please, please just go play with the other children christopher robin: *googling how to order zoloft* I can’t the stuffed donkey I’m friends with is clinically depressed
her: i’ll have the salad, no nuts, please waiter: of course me: it didn’t say it had nuts her: i’m allergic, so I tell them to be safe me: that makes sense waiter: and for you? me: steak, no bees, please
me: the Kool-Aid man was basically a reverse vampire. he’d go into people’s houses uninvited and have them drink his blood my therapist: again, it’s not technically wrong but I’m concerned you have diagrams
They should do this at every job. If I knew any mistake I made was gonna be torn apart by a group of teenage girls I’d never fuck up again.
They should do this at every job. If I knew any mistake I made was gonna be torn apart by a group of teenage girls I’d never fuck up again.
On this week’s (PENULTIMATE!) episode of season one of How to Write a Joke, I sat down with king of one-liners @TheAndrewNadeau to discuss his writing process and why we never get invited to parties. Available now on Spotify, Amazon, and Apple Podcasts!
Making a Jurassic Park movie about a guy who went the day before the dinosaurs broke out and is trying to be sensitive about it but also really wants to show you his pictures.
[filling in my friend who’s never heard of OJ Simpson] him: wow! how can you be that good at football AND in the Naked Gun movies?? me: ok well don’t—let’s not get too excited yet
I’m in shock. We just had lunch and he was in good spirits. Smiling. Telling me how he just discovered where the Clinton’s were in June of ‘94 and how it would “change everything”.
This is so embarrassing. Why are we even trying to get to this planet?
This is so embarrassing. Why are we even trying to get to this planet?
The size of the gates in Jurassic Park suggests they were always planning on letting the dinosaurs out.
There’s a parallel universe where people age non-linearly, and every day you have no idea how old you’ll wake up. So sometimes you’d have to call into work like, “Sorry, can’t make it in today, I’m 7.”
waiter: ugh, that awful group is back jesus: hi! just 13 waters, please
NYC wants to be LA so bad 😭
NYC wants to be LA so bad 😭
me: welcome back! I’m so glad you get to see this, this is your day! [a giant rabbit walks by and hands a colorful egg to a child covered in chocolate] jesus: me: jesus: so the rabbit monster is celebrating… me: how we failed to murder you, yes
Reasons why I’m single
Reasons why I’m single https://t.co/Hq72Yw3jiX
jon drake @DrakeGatsby
112K Followers 2K Following they must have amnesia, they forgot that im him. 1/2 of @blastzonepod. senior brand strategist for @trymetafyi can be your long lo.. @PallaviGunalan
93K Followers 2K FollowingKyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji
139K Followers 1K Following I am incredibly online | King of edible leaves, his majesty the spinach | he/him | the hits https://t.co/13Ium8Yy25Roxi Horror 💀🌸 @roxiqt
65K Followers 1K Following Extremely online internet gremlin & comedy content creator 🥄💜 @roxiqt on Bluesky & TikTok 🦝 https://t.co/JbrOVGHJgp ✨fredesque @FredTaming
27K Followers 890 Following black & trans lives matter | stop asian hate | 🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️ friendly | he/him | fka taming fr*d s*vage |Adam @adamgreattweet
63K Followers 3K Following Resident physician as seen on Buzzfeed and TV, RTd by Barack Obama. He/HimNatalie @jbfan911
66K Followers 712 Following (in case my employer sees this) I love ethics and HIPAA | she/herᎽᴀᴇʟ @elle91
24K Followers 341 Following Writer, animal foster person, 69 inches tall. If you let me write for your thing, I'll kiss you right on the head. Venmo/yael91, IG/the.yaelFRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DCoctopus/caveman @octopuscaveman
32K Followers 2K Following cool ranch icarus, painter of LoveBots, king of diarrhea jokesphil @PhilJamesson
84K Followers 986 Following my job is writing funny things for cool stuff | comedy for @DibsNext, @adultswim, @nerial, @dropout | mgmt: [email protected]m@thew @TweetPotato314
44K Followers 598 Following retired: @tweetpotato314 ︎new: https://t.co/eGYheQADS5 personal: @antelopish♥mark magark♥ @markedly
26K Followers 366 Following See the world through the eyes of an idiot. | he/himmadimoiselle ♡ @drivingmemadi
40K Followers 555 Following like a furby, but worse. unfortunately all views are my ownCarlos Almao @Carlos_Almao
157 Followers 930 Following Sindrome del impostor crónico. Wannabe millenial. Daltónico. In my disfrutón era.american_w0man @american_w0m
166 Followers 2K FollowingKat 📸 @NZNobby
147 Followers 1K Following New Zealand photographer, closet geek and chocolate lover 🤓📸 Insta: @kathrynnobbsphotographyGuilherme Costa @grcosta
736 Followers 342 Following I play games. I think about games. I design and program games. I criticize games. I brew coffee and go back to games. And why do I have this song in my head?frank @dcinaus
91 Followers 158 FollowingEmma_ER @EmmaER198175
53 Followers 2K Following My account was hacked by someone, so I'm going to start over againPolarBearfacts @kidsanimalskids
44 Followers 180 Following The Arctic is not a forsaken wasteland to a polar bear; it is home, and a comfortable home at that. ( Ian Stirling )Uncork'd Entertainmen.. @uncorkdent
4K Followers 6K Following Home Entertainment and Theatrical Film Distributor | #horror #documentary #foreign #scifiGeorge Coulter @sasquatch1882
1 Followers 40 Following Marine Biologist, astrophysicist, ice road trucker and Sarcasm world championship finalist Peru 98'jun @JrArgonza
5 Followers 189 FollowingScott Pruett @PaulScottPruett
45 Followers 72 Following Senior software engineer and armchair Christian apologistzena latif @zenalatif84
56 Followers 1K Following am very funny, the best funny you will meet, nobody is more funny than me....i trying okay. Practicing heart surgeon.Jalum @dasmallgooner
4 Followers 20 FollowingMegan Crowley @meganjcrowley
16 Followers 126 FollowingChicago’s Meadow So.. @acry4helpp
6K Followers 1K Following Rachel Berry apologist | local party girl shit poster | 3x Italian man of the year award recipientJen Gilligan @GilliganJen
69 Followers 420 FollowingLennart Breel @lennartbnl
297 Followers 542 Following Designer (logos, lettering, illustration, 3D, woodwork etc). Available for freelance.P @MPH_BLM
114 Followers 351 FollowingJulie Ouchley @JulieOuchley
6 Followers 310 FollowingRett @retrointhemetro
39 Followers 385 FollowingSqyd (she/her) @Mizqyd230
194 Followers 872 Following equity, compassion, Jesus, & matcha lattes || God hates the exploitation of the marginalized, because He loves the marginalized AND the exploiter ||craig denny @DreamPerch1
757 Followers 3K Following music & nature buff. tech innovator. chiefs & jayhawks uber-fan. viva democracy. the answers to all the big questions are unknowable…Jen G. @bennygil
105 Followers 555 Following There comes a time when you can choose to be silent or you can choose to stand up.HDraper @HeidiDraper2
50 Followers 2K FollowingDJB @DJB62568376
66 Followers 588 FollowingChris Black @AntAndAardvark
73 Followers 1K FollowingNiki S @NikiNOLA
198 Followers 2K FollowingEmilsnyc @emilsnyc
60 Followers 200 FollowingIDoStuffSometimes @MarcieR83191387
145 Followers 948 Following Mom, future nurse, happily single. Super here for the funny and stupid, please don’t disappoint me Twitter.Krysta Winters @kwinkwin2
5 Followers 140 FollowingMaria Von Crapp 🟧 @begooddogood64
2K Followers 3K Following 💙💙💙 MO native, TX transplant. No DMs or listsNun Sequitur @Queenealogist
388 Followers 1K Following Ex-nun; family historian; über-introvert. “Blessed are they who have nothing to say and who cannot be persuaded to say it.” – James Russell LowellHeather Cave Vallad @heyvallad
183 Followers 517 Following Mother, wife, teacher- I feel like those are all the same thingMatt Pendergrass @mattpendergrass
49 Followers 157 FollowingNikki A Garcia | Free.. @nikkigwrites
19 Followers 82 Following (she/her) Johns Hopkins University Alumna. Miami-based freelance writer and poet :):Lauren Wilbanks @lleighbu
889 Followers 5K Following I mostly tweet about sports, especially Baylor sports. Sometimes, I tweet about other things. Christ Follower/ELA Teacher #SicEm #GoDawgs #FortheABucky Freedent @BuckyFreeD
33 Followers 83 Followingjon drake @DrakeGatsby
112K Followers 2K Following they must have amnesia, they forgot that im him. 1/2 of @blastzonepod. senior brand strategist for @trymetafyi can be your long lo.. @PallaviGunalan
93K Followers 2K FollowingKyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji
139K Followers 1K Following I am incredibly online | King of edible leaves, his majesty the spinach | he/him | the hits https://t.co/13Ium8Yy25Roxi Horror 💀🌸 @roxiqt
65K Followers 1K Following Extremely online internet gremlin & comedy content creator 🥄💜 @roxiqt on Bluesky & TikTok 🦝 https://t.co/JbrOVGHJgp ✨fredesque @FredTaming
27K Followers 890 Following black & trans lives matter | stop asian hate | 🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️ friendly | he/him | fka taming fr*d s*vage |Adam @adamgreattweet
63K Followers 3K Following Resident physician as seen on Buzzfeed and TV, RTd by Barack Obama. He/HimNatalie @jbfan911
66K Followers 712 Following (in case my employer sees this) I love ethics and HIPAA | she/hermike ginn @shutupmikeginn
209K Followers 1K FollowingᎽᴀᴇʟ @elle91
24K Followers 341 Following Writer, animal foster person, 69 inches tall. If you let me write for your thing, I'll kiss you right on the head. Venmo/yael91, IG/the.yaelFRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DCoctopus/caveman @octopuscaveman
32K Followers 2K Following cool ranch icarus, painter of LoveBots, king of diarrhea jokesphil @PhilJamesson
84K Followers 986 Following my job is writing funny things for cool stuff | comedy for @DibsNext, @adultswim, @nerial, @dropout | mgmt: [email protected]m@thew @TweetPotato314
44K Followers 598 Following retired: @tweetpotato314 ︎new: https://t.co/eGYheQADS5 personal: @antelopish♥mark magark♥ @markedly
26K Followers 366 Following See the world through the eyes of an idiot. | he/himmisha꙳ @schizarella
32K Followers 105 Following investigative journalist; former @WSJ @nytimes; bylines in @forbes @dexerto;Dan Carney @DanManCarney
16K Followers 4K Following comedian, actor, click the link if you want to see me live (live, not live)Doomscroll Show @doomscrollshow
135 Followers 41 Following A podcast about all the news hosted by @lisa_curry & @mattsheffield. You'll die if you don't subscribe. New episodes Wednesdays. A @DiscoverFlux show.Game Changer 🪄 @GameChangerSam
79K Followers 81 Following 🏔️The game show where the rules change every show. 🏖️New episodes every other Monday on @dropout 🍋Only on @dropoutDropout @dropout
100K Followers 214 Following 🐉 @dimension20show ☝️ @umactuallyshow 🤫 @gamechangersam 🍸 @dirtylaundrydo 💄 @vipeopleshow 🤐 @dontlaughnews 🗣️ @makesomenoisedo 🐷 @smartypantsdoSachi Ezura @misstrionics
3K Followers 2K Following Animation @comedycentral @paramountplus. Prev @thegreenespace, Irony Point, https://t.co/3iNm16StSF, IFC. 1/2 Japanese, 1/4 rican, she/her, feminist killjoy, Ellie's mom.Conor Cawley @ConorCawley
1K Followers 659 Following Lead Writer at @TechCoHQ, Reviewer for @AndroidPolice, Producer for @DontTellComedy, stand up comedian, pronounces ”colloquially” wrongRolli @rolliwrites
58K Followers 9K Following Author. Cartoonist. Coffeeholic (25 cups/day). Work in @nytimes @WSJ @Playboy @SatEvePost. Newsletter: https://t.co/rA5gYJVh3R. Buy me a ☕: https://t.co/p8MvV8VuZFColby Day @thecolbyday
4K Followers 3K Following Screenwriter of Spaceman (now on @Netflix), In the Blink of an Eye (coming soon), one of moviemaker magazine’s 25 screenwriters to watch ???Grimm Creator Stephen.. @creator_grimm
8K Followers 7K Following Writer-Director. Grimm, Ocean’s Eleven, Blue Streak. Rep UTA. #1 Bestseller “A BLOCKBUSTER” Entertainment Weekly: https://t.co/YKlNAVDb4nArif "Felonious Munk".. @Felonious_munk
62K Followers 2K Following stand up booking: [email protected] all other booking: [email protected]SrikerSly | 🇨🇦 .. @SrikerSly
2K Followers 1K Following She/Her 🍥✧ Twitch Partner ✧💬 Host @VirtualOffline ✧ #Vtuber ✧ Teacher ✧ VA ✧ 〖🎨 #SpyceArt 〗📧 [email protected] | https://t.co/yAmEZbJyrW ✧ PFP: @biiiOBSKUR @OBSKUROfficial
5K Followers 83 Following OBSKUR is the first broadcasting application built on #UE5 🔗https://t.co/z7OTM0nnzR Join our Discord Today: https://t.co/eCA2o9C4RB OBSKUR /əbˈskyo͝or/✦ eve ✦ @impossiblyeve
24K Followers 5K Following i say dumb shit online | i stream on twitch (M/W/F) | https://t.co/K8ieWoomlqAlex 🇺🇸🇧🇬 @_alexshaq
3K Followers 765 Following Co-founder @LeapAI_ | @fdotinc studio | Sundays @marinaplunge | winners win 🏁beer person @CantEverDie
132K Followers 2K Following JUNE - L’CHAIM - TRANS DISINFO INFLUENCER - podcasting on @WesternKabuki & @CrateDiving - streaming games on https://t.co/kXjet8u2M2You Are The Genre @YouAreTheGenre
820 Followers 104 Following Mapping the path toward your own genre w/ @TimBarnes451.Akilah Hughes @AkilahObviously
223K Followers 3K Following I miss Neopets. | Founding Host of ‘What a Day’ from @crookedmedia | @SundanceOrg Alum | OBVIOUSLY is out NOW📗Solarion @SolarionFX
1K Followers 2K Following ☼Meme Librarian ☼⭐⭐⭐⭐Huge Gacha Spender ☼📺VTuber @SeedyShiomi ☼Tweets are my own and should never be taken seriously ☼PFP: @moonsmoothie prev. Social DiscordSummer Ray @SummerRay
28K Followers 1K Following voiceover/writer/illustrator/absolute joke. https://t.co/nwwRcZusqjInteresting Things @interesting_aIl
1.5M Followers 95 Following Posting interesting history, tech, art, and more.Janty @CFC_Janty
560K Followers 1K Following Honest footy Fan || Chelsea x Galatasaray x Joao Felix fan|| Business 📧 - [email protected]||@NixuhGGJosef Arnehall @EsportsJosef
224 Followers 230 Following Sales @LURKITcom Views are my own. Business: [email protected]ryan 🤿 @scubaryan_
299K Followers 996 Following not impersonating anyone — 🤿 | @destroynectar | @thatboiharley 🪼jimmy @jimmyoutsold
66K Followers 2K Following jill roberts apologist • dm for promo • [email protected]Ness @NessTwelve
1K Followers 717 Following The infamous Social Media Manager @ Voicemod Marketing Opinions are my own 🇵🇸Dina @dinahashem_
29K Followers 1K Following allah’s lil angel, NYC comic. Watch my new special Dark Little Whispers on Amazon primeDave Gorman @DaveGorman
377K Followers 2K Following 36hrs of TV stand-up on youtube: https://t.co/iZYABKHYNy I also set crosswords. Bluth in the Indy, Fed in the Graun, Django in the TelegraphTodd Stashwick @ToddStashwick
60K Followers 2K Following Actor: Star Trek Picard, 12 Monkeys Writer:@Skydance & @marvelgames 1943 Rise of Hydra, Scoundrel, Dungeon Master (he/him) https://t.co/BA0bkxwDnvMADMONQ® 💊🍏 @madmonq
16K Followers 429 Following garage company from the mid lane of europe helping gamers level up their gaming, focus and healthLurkit @lurkitcom
22K Followers 710 Following Making games grow. We connect content creators with game publishers through key campaigns, paid sponsorships, creator programs & more!Samir | Combatglue @Combatglue
4K Followers 3K Following Global CM & SoMe Manager @IOInteractive, Project @007, @Hitman | Partner by @Twitch, @cherryxtrfy, @gg_creators & @madmonq | [email protected]pocket @islandthembo
36K Followers 990 FollowingVoicemod @voicemod
138K Followers 1K Following Soundboard and Real-Time AI Voice Changer for every moment 🎙️ Support: https://t.co/NeX29ARvcj Discord: https://t.co/qcnBs6uuXzMike27356894 @Mike27356894
188K Followers 121 Following This is just a troll account, Im actually a Harvard Grad. If I baited you, reply to my comment with 'Thanks, Mike.' so I know you didn't fall for it lol.i can think of 1 instance where a rape joke is funny
There are 0 instances when rape jokes are funny or acceptable. ZERO.
shogun is about a mr. show character that a bunch of samurai have to put up with
no website has ever done a "movies Brian Lynch has worked on, ranked" and I think that's a good thing
me deducing why there's now two sets of footprints in the sand
I had the opportunity to check out the first ever heroin dispensary
don’t worry. if your podcast co-host is good at stand up then that means you are too!
I did stand-up last night as "1990s Jerry Seinfeld Doing Bits About His 17-Year-Old Girlfriend"
The most unrealistic thing about The Sopranos is that her name is “Meadow.” No way in hell Tony and Carmella had a baby girl in 1982 in New Jersey and didn’t name her Gianna Marie.
IN ONE WEEK! I'll be making fun of some of the worst games of all time with some of the best comedians I know. And then, I'm going to give some of those awful games away - FOR FREE. May 4th & 5th, 2:00 pm, the Egyptian Theater in LA. (Ticket info below)
Blaming "PC crap" for less comedy is the embarrassing part. TV isn't the same. The industry has changed so much, even in the last like 16-18 years. Just google "Jerry Seinfeld 17" and examples will pop up.
@kyleayers @bruce_arthur He specifically mentioned Curb as an outlier to the point. If you don’t think there’s a serious lack of comedy on TV and in movies please provide me a list. There’s a reason streaming services fight over Seinfeld, Parks, Brooklyn 99, the Office etc.
I can one-up this lady. I didn't register for a half-marathon AND I didn't run one. Guess I won
I just ran 13.1 miles for the Brooklyn half marathon at a 7.43 minute pace. I didn’t walk at all. I cried during a lot of it. I went to bed at 10 PM. I didn’t sign up for this race. I just asked the security where it started and where it ended and jumped in. No one watched me…
@TheAndrewNadeau he must have meant his own comedy
@TheAndrewNadeau Watch Ted. It’s a litmus test that proves that subjects are fine… it’s dehumanization and hate that aren’t. You can still make Seinfeld’s “not that there’s anything wrong with that” episode today just fine.
If there was a new ROCKY movie it would be about him fighting a youtuber, wouldn't it
@TheAndrewNadeau “You’re so vain. You probably think this song is about you” m.youtube.com/watch?v=gHJq1T…