SD @StupiDucker
https://t.co/eQur4OdFS4 U.S.A. Joined August 2019-
Tweets113K
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Followers4K
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Following2K
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Likes165K
Bees are not more scared of you than you are of them. They have stingers. You have declining vision, fading reflexes, and poor motor skills.
Roses are Red Violets are Blue Tequila costs less Than dinner for two
Her: Don’t you just love quiet mornings with a cup of coffee and getting lost in silence and your thoughts? Me: *turning on television, radio, banging pots and pans* no
Why don’t we have a Call of Duty map set in a Waffle House after midnight?
There was a show I wanted to start watching but I dont remember the name of it or what streaming service it was on or what it was about
Your hairy chest and gold chain necklaces tell me you're the type of guy who struts around in a shiny leopard print speedo at the beach.
A dry wedding is just like a regular wedding but with no reason to be there
*at a kareoke bar* People I'm with: come on, get up there and sing something! Me: nah that's ok, I've had a bit too much to drink and I can't really si- My tits *grabbing the mic*: MOOOOOOOON RIVERRRRRRRR
me: I don’t like other people’s kids them: how old are yours? me: I don’t have any
sometimes i tell myself “jessica you need to stop drinking” but then i remember my name isn’t jessica
They say if you feel overwhelmed, it's important to ask for help. *Husband immediately loses the list of things I asked for help with*
Did you know that peeing into a Gatorade bottle isn’t made better by calling it your chamber pot?
I'm thinking of putting my will to live in a bag of rice overnight.
If the fate of mankind depended upon me finding my way out of an unfamiliar parking lot on the first try, we'd all be screwed.
My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office
Not to brag but my nap was so long I was late for my bedtime
"Meet me out back by the dumpster for the drugs" -CVS pharmacy drive-thru
If I had two buttholes, would I poop twice as much or twice as often?
I need to start blocking on Twitter. I keep getting all these 'pussycat in profile' tweets and I'm more a dog person.
tazz @noneofyours99
85K Followers 46K Following Army Veteran, atheist, here to share some laughs, it's the universal language I ❤️Animals #supportmentalhealth squirrel mama ,wildlife rescue 🔥Memphis🔥
S̲uper H̲uman A̲ut.. @_indica_sky
45K Followers 2K Following
Granite Man 🏴�.. @GraniteDhuine
18K Followers 5K Following The unacceptable face of Scottish Twitter. Whisky drinker, kilt wearer, sweary AF.
PieGuy @ilovepie84
30K Followers 6K Following My wife works two jobs so that I can chase my dream of being in a boy band. https://t.co/JhWCxIXYbK
Saint Vivica, Patron .. @QueenVofCoffee
18K Followers 2K Following DM Room cheerleader & typo goddess. 56% funny. TH: @Conchvegas1 . Avi by ToonMe. Header: @dimplesticks. https://t.co/dRgjRopfud
Blue Berrymore @BerrymoreBlue
18K Followers 4K Following Sarcasm and Anxiety. I love dad jokes and mom bods.
Mad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
23K Followers 4K Following sometimes funny, full of cheese, chocolate and unpopular opinions; don’t DM please https://t.co/IdtiajUsnd
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
The Nostalgic @TheNostalgicCo
43K Followers 6K Following We all have stories where the contents are way better than the cover. type1diabetes celiac advocate for a cure. insulinshouldbefree
Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
Lottie-pop 🍭 @Lottie_Poppie
28K Followers 3K Following Tattooed mum & coffee enthusiast. Living life from one snack to the next.
🇨🇦꧁🆂🅰�.. @SassyCanadian0
22K Followers 5K Following Sarcastic Ray of Sunshine. Will steal your hoodie. Music is life.🎶 Healthcare/frontline worker. #Dallascowboys #Mapleleafsforever #smile 🔥bacon
The Curious Optimist @VitaeArcanum
39K Followers 2K Following A pocket full of dreams and a mind full of mischief. Blissfully dissatisfied. https://t.co/ClBlIxwIfr
Myrta Jowett @myr_jowe
18 Followers 3K Following
Teresa Lynn @TeresaLynn95832
34 Followers 107 Following Check out the new OF all the juicy 🫦🍑 content you could think of. Have any special request don't be shy come on let's have some fun. 👅🍆💦
blessing @blessing1715147
36 Followers 114 Following Am down for fun and hook up🪝 service,inbox me am active text me if you are ready
Ivy Bela @bela_ivy54597
71 Followers 5K Following
Doris Jones @DorisJones75846
14 Followers 263 Following
sam @sam87935512
392 Followers 5K Following “bless them that curse you, pray for them that despitefully use you.”🙏🤲🏽🕊
Hernandez Tom @HernandezT56407
318 Followers 3K Following
🗼Beacon of Joy �.. @sunnyside_hazel
100 Followers 226 Following Proud mom 👩👧👦 Sub Teacher👩🏫 Nutritionist & Diet Practitioner🥒🥗Utah will always be home🏡 Let’s learn to live, love and laugh 💝 I love nature🌺
Perrie Beardsley @BeardsPerr
64 Followers 5K Following
Rachelkaren877 @rachelkaren877
546 Followers 3K Following
Mavis L Wanczyk @William48539273
366 Followers 2K Following I'm Mavis L. Wanczy the winner of $758.700.00M jackpot Powerball Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act. Prov 3:27
Luise Hoehn @hoeh_luis
74 Followers 5K Following
Salimang Kujabi @KujabiSali57616
3 Followers 138 Following
Cassidy banks @Cassidy_banks2
30 Followers 711 Following i love chat & meet new ppl ,Dm me for any talk ❤️❤️🥵
Mariana Cante @MCante72469
83 Followers 5K Following
Eliza Gilchrist @GilchristE70882
67 Followers 5K Following
ALIYAH🤍 600k🤍 @tsaliyahj
0 Followers 397 Following follow my Instagram - aliyaroseofc 🤍 22 year old BRITISH 🤍 trans 🏳️⚧️ what are you waiting for? come chat with me below ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
prettyisabella @prettyisab86931
42 Followers 753 Following
Tatum Straus @TatumStra
69 Followers 5K Following
Isha Wolny @IshaWolny9490
70 Followers 5K Following
Crider Melissa @MelissaCri16639
2 Followers 47 Following
Quinn Renolds @QuiRenol
63 Followers 5K Following
Sentient Coffee ☕�.. @OSUCoffeeLovr
1K Followers 1K Following 🎶 I'm the problem, it's me, hi. 🎶 nerd, lover, feeler, ♍ he/him, you already know 💗
Georgina. @georgina_sears
22 Followers 94 Following A life lived without regrets is actually the best way to live. 🥰 Move and don't look back.
Katja Eymer @KatjaEymer671
126 Followers 2K Following 8TradersMarket Copy trading system chief Marketing strategist, Trader and active mindset coach
Kimberly dave @kimdave0
1K Followers 1K Following MARRIED 🇮🇱|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||DIGITAL INVESTMENT ADVISOR
Someone @Someone70537168
85 Followers 854 Following
Brenda M. Proper @Brendaproper
111 Followers 2K Following RealEstateLuxuryAdvisor🏡 PrincipeRealSpecialist👑FashionAddicted🛍️ Traveler✈️⛵️
Edwin McDaniel @edwin_mcda60932
722 Followers 5K Following
Awbry @AwbryG
2K Followers 2K Following CRAZY, flirty, and 50. 🎶 Slipknot, Cashapp $laydeedragonfly1 https://t.co/l6chi3RVVb NSFW 18 and older only 🔞#BBW #kinky #DP #anal #babygirl #sub
Rosamond Chappie @RosamoChapp
67 Followers 5K Following
Sandra Elizabeth @sandranello278
207 Followers 2K Following
Elon musk @EMusk81050
19 Followers 560 Following
Jason Cusson @CussonJason
374 Followers 710 Following creator of the UFC Octagon, if you have no sense of sarcasm, you will be blocked.
Justine Bernardez @JustiBernar
63 Followers 5K Following
_o_riole @riole_o49626
14 Followers 2K Following
Zenny @Zenny34120
113 Followers 629 Following
tazz @noneofyours99
85K Followers 46K Following Army Veteran, atheist, here to share some laughs, it's the universal language I ❤️Animals #supportmentalhealth squirrel mama ,wildlife rescue 🔥Memphis🔥
S̲uper H̲uman A̲ut.. @_indica_sky
45K Followers 2K Following
Granite Man 🏴�.. @GraniteDhuine
18K Followers 5K Following The unacceptable face of Scottish Twitter. Whisky drinker, kilt wearer, sweary AF.
PieGuy @ilovepie84
30K Followers 6K Following My wife works two jobs so that I can chase my dream of being in a boy band. https://t.co/JhWCxIXYbK
Saint Vivica, Patron .. @QueenVofCoffee
18K Followers 2K Following DM Room cheerleader & typo goddess. 56% funny. TH: @Conchvegas1 . Avi by ToonMe. Header: @dimplesticks. https://t.co/dRgjRopfud
Blue Berrymore @BerrymoreBlue
18K Followers 4K Following Sarcasm and Anxiety. I love dad jokes and mom bods.
Mad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
23K Followers 4K Following sometimes funny, full of cheese, chocolate and unpopular opinions; don’t DM please https://t.co/IdtiajUsnd
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
The Nostalgic @TheNostalgicCo
43K Followers 6K Following We all have stories where the contents are way better than the cover. type1diabetes celiac advocate for a cure. insulinshouldbefree
Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
Lottie-pop 🍭 @Lottie_Poppie
28K Followers 3K Following Tattooed mum & coffee enthusiast. Living life from one snack to the next.
🇨🇦꧁🆂🅰�.. @SassyCanadian0
22K Followers 5K Following Sarcastic Ray of Sunshine. Will steal your hoodie. Music is life.🎶 Healthcare/frontline worker. #Dallascowboys #Mapleleafsforever #smile 🔥bacon
The Curious Optimist @VitaeArcanum
39K Followers 2K Following A pocket full of dreams and a mind full of mischief. Blissfully dissatisfied. https://t.co/ClBlIxwIfr
Jono @whoinvitedjon
5K Followers 5K Following I work hard, and I play hard. Wait - I actually just work a regular amount and I don't really play that much either tbh
Sentient Coffee ☕�.. @OSUCoffeeLovr
1K Followers 1K Following 🎶 I'm the problem, it's me, hi. 🎶 nerd, lover, feeler, ♍ he/him, you already know 💗
Iseeoddpeople @Imsohoppy
12K Followers 12K Following https://t.co/tS6K8FZzTE OEA 👻🚨the Michael Jordan of the Word Hunt🌻
UnveriMKed @firstmalaisekit
2K Followers 1K Following Over thinker, under hugger. She/her https://t.co/75tZlCG3qe
Destry @DestryBrod
18K Followers 16K Following Not quite cool enough to be Canadian.I live close enough to Canada to smell the healthcare. Pretty liberal, pretty democratic not that pretty tho. pro choice.
pagliacci the hated �.. @Slatzism
79K Followers 634 Following la commedia è finita! overlord @reduxxmag + @reduxxmages + @thepublicanow. “her despicableness is something her supporters excuse and, at times, celebrate”
New Jersey 101.5 @nj1015
185K Followers 3K Following New Jersey news, weather and traffic. Important topics and the best of the Garden State. Not New York, not Philadelphia. A @townsquaremedia station.
Bones 🇨🇦 @Wititup
2K Followers 2K Following I sometimes say the first thing that pops in my head and it always gets me in trouble. - I also- 📸 for fun… #Billsmafia 🔱
Joey C 🇺🇸🇮�.. @SicilianBeard
807 Followers 3K Following Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn... call the President. #Isles
Al. Mr plow, thats my.. @roadkillbbqtime
377 Followers 219 Following now a crypto trade junkie too😁 if I look familiar its because I used to be me in a former life but I didn't want to be, so now I'm him. Him is me, I'm him.
Ellie MayNotCare @CritterX2
468 Followers 521 Following alt for @SheilaBx2 when X does dumb $hit #jailed
CashewQueso @cashew_queso
772 Followers 717 Following On today’s episode of I have no idea what I’m doing… https://t.co/p2R6kolXhT
🩷 𝒮𝒽𝑜𝓇.. @shortstacktm
5K Followers 2K Following Who are the people in your neighborhood? Really, like who are those weirdos 🧐
KrispyKreme 💜🍒 @Kristinaann1031
24K Followers 4K Following When I’m good I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better 💜 NSFW https://t.co/INkYlE6vMQ
Hannah Barron @HannahBarron96_
221K Followers 73 Following 27 "The Catfish Girl" #GetBit #IAM1STPHORM • Huntin' • Fishin' • Noodlin' • Bowfishin' •
Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbol
1.21 Rickawatts @notsoevilrick
10K Followers 4K Following Dumb jokes, dumber thoughts and weird shit. I've been on Antifa's payroll since 2016.
Sunburnt BonerGhost @charbroil_chew
3K Followers 3K Following mostly cartilage. eloquent cheese defender. naked gardener. https://t.co/uDjEDgzCow
The Vigilant Fox 🦊 @VigilantFox
898K Followers 2K Following Editor-in-Chief @VigilantNews. Writer, video clipper, and pro-freedom citizen journalist with 12 years of healthcare experience. https://t.co/2CGfZibYd2
Mohammed i’m hard B.. @blo0dbat_
1K Followers 922 Following spooky. boring. nefarious jackanapes. sexy nose picker. mdni. occasionally NSFW. don’t be alarmed if you see my nipples. you have been warned. 18+ only. 🎃🖤
Worst Cass Scenario @WorstCassie
17K Followers 8K Following I don't know why Girls Gone Mild never took off.
"Add your name" Is th.. @WellImHere00
350 Followers 444 Following The most uncool account on Twitter
Kent Murphy @KentMurphy
355K Followers 102K Following Best coach EVER. Breakin' Twitter down from a fundamental standpoint. NOT affiliated with Nick Hall. Dinger Shirts are AVAILABLE using Link In Bio ⤵️
Rich Baris The People.. @Peoples_Pundit
255K Followers 5K Following Director @BIGDATAPOLL and host of 'Inside the Numbers'. Opinions are my own. Data don't lie. People do. Love @LauraBaris and my kids.
erica @ericanextdooor
10K Followers 9K Following making parlays & petting strays • 𝐣𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞
commissioner shayla (.. @shaylarz
6K Followers 3K Following Minnesota Twins STH. Nelson Cruz’s biggest fan. Heavy metal. Queen of the BTFam. Trevor Plouffe said I could be commish once and I’m going w/it. Bad at DMs
Dak Harding @DakHarding
737 Followers 416 Following In laughter's embrace, scars find their place. Humor, my shield, and saving grace. An echo of peace, a quest I chase. To one day be free, in a safe space. ~DH
andie 2, revenge of t.. @the_worst_vibes
865 Followers 777 Following 31 • college student • full of anxiety and Taco Bell
Liz That Girl CA @LizThatGirlCA
3K Followers 5K Following Brave magical realist and ER nurse. Rollin' with it, baby! As long as we're able to laugh, there's hope...
✨Sadie Rochelle✨ @PHorseFeathers
3K Followers 3K Following 💀⚡️🥀 ✨identity politics=🐴💩✨Logician✨Magician✨Musician📚🎩🧙♂️🎶 🎓.Psych.Phil.Econ. @p_horsefeathers is me
CanadianLitChick🇨�.. @ConnieLukey
26K Followers 23K Following I am Pavlov's Hashtag dog. Mother of boys, passionate reader, writer, funny fitness fanatic, CPA. Happily married and older than dirt.
assley titsdale @ashleypaigey
5K Followers 429 Following im like if george costanza was a hot girl - alt: @ashxtitsdale
Duchess Anna of Banan.. @duchess_banana
24K Followers 5K Following Food, sports, and filth. Distributing the finest word vomit since 2019. @VancityReynolds liked one of my tweets once.
L @Ann_Hedonia1
2K Followers 2K Following Non-committal hockey fan. Psych student. Part-time nihilist. Pro cat. Film enthusiast. Not fun at parties.
Kris Wilder @parkerquotes2
216 Followers 519 Following Public relations coordinator, recovering reporter, mom of two amazing human beings, reader, writer, math hater.
No Farmers, No Food @NoFarmsNoFoods
65K Followers 1K Following We are a campaign group driven by farmers, for farmers. Our farms. Your food. Everyone’s future.
I'm a 10 in a sundress with converse chucks.
Bees are not more scared of you than you are of them. They have stingers. You have declining vision, fading reflexes, and poor motor skills.
Roses are Red Violets are Blue Tequila costs less Than dinner for two
What makes YOU special? Strength: 6 Perception: 9 Endurance: 4 Charisma: 6 Intelligence: 8 Agility: 4 Luck: 4
At least when the world ended, their house was already on wheels.
I need coffee but I'm comfortable in bed. So I'm getting out of bed to make coffee because it's a NEED.
Why do you think they shut down this program?
This is exactly how children think
College protesters seek amnesty to keep arrests and suspensions from trailing them apnews.com/article/studen…
I'm convinced at this point that 75% of Americans don't actually support free speech They don't enjoy being censored themselves but censoring their opponents? They love it Deeply concerning
Article describes how Biden, Schumer, and McConnell absolutely rolled Johnson on Ukraine funding… and how they plan to do it again. politico.com/news/2024/04/2…
Why don’t we have a Call of Duty map set in a Waffle House after midnight?
I've noticed that all the fiction experts are helping Biden: Spielberg, Stephen King, Rob Reiner... Makes sense, because Biden's entire campaign is built on fiction: - Russia Collusion Hoax - Fine People Hoax - Jan6th Insurrection Hoax - Drinking Bleach Hoax - Inflation unders…
Biden Turns To Steven Spielberg For Messaging Strategy As Poll Numbers Lag President Joe Biden has reportedly turned to Hollywood director Steven Spielberg for political “strategy” as he campaigns for re-election against former President Donald Trump. Spielberg, known for…
Associated Press Admits New Indictments Are ‘Campaign’ To ‘Deter’ GOP From Questioning Elections The Associated Press (AP) admitted Friday that this week’s indictment of 18 Arizona Republicans is “part of a campaign” to “deter” Republicans from raising challenges and concerns…
This is painful to watch. Scary even. This is the president.
Joe Biden tells wounded warriors they are the spine of America after Jill helps him find the wounded warriors. Joe is gone. If you can’t see it, you’re part of the problem.
They're Communists.
Referring to the United States: “We want to smash the Democratic Party, we want to smash the Republican party, we want to smash this whole goddamn capitalist, imperialist empire.”
@rawsalerts If this were a real organic group, the news media would be all over the story unmasking them, talking to their employers. The FBI handlers for the news media told them to ignore this story.
There was a show I wanted to start watching but I dont remember the name of it or what streaming service it was on or what it was about
lol. @GovCox ran from me like a child today at the Utah Nominating Convention and hid in his vehicle because I tried to ask him why he continues to lie about Utah’s Sanctuary State designation. Public officials should be talking to reporters, not running from them.
After being boo’ed throughout his speech at the Utah Nominating Convention @GovCox RAN outside and hid in his vehicle behind security to avoid questioning from TENET Reporter @TaylerUSA about his lies regarding Utah not being a sanctuary state. (It is) Tayler attempted to…
In a democracy, we have always had to worry about the ignorance of the uneducated. Today we have to worry about the ignorance of people with college degrees.
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