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| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | @_maybe_not_ever

Reclusive . uncomfortable . godawful jokes . small & strange . quietly curious . perpetually pessimistic . comedy lover . full-time nobody . i have gray hairs . x.com/search?q=from%… . 616 . Joined October 2015
  • Tweets
    63K
  • Followers
    13K
  • Following
    1K
  • Likes
    127K
| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
stephispsycho Profile Picture

Stephanie @stephispsycho

6 days ago

You’re on X, I’m on twitter, we are not the same.

| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
MerriamWebster Profile Picture

Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster

2 weeks ago

‘Booty’ and ‘butt’ are synonyms. ‘Call’ and ‘dial’ are synonyms. But, a ‘booty call’ and a ‘butt dial’ are VERY different things.

| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
DrakeGatsby Profile Picture

jon drake @DrakeGatsby

2 weeks ago

The bar I’m at has an eggplant on the men’s restroom and a peach on the girl’s restroom. So in here you either got a dick or a butt

| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
MomOnFire Profile Picture

Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire

2 weeks ago

Listen up, you minimalist little shit. I will use the Oxford comma till the day I die.

| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
_NatalieWould Profile Picture

Natalie Would @_NatalieWould

2 weeks ago

if you wink at me I'm making a citizen's arrest

| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
ivymede Profile Picture

Ganymede 🧜 @ivymede

a month ago

the brand name Oral B is so funny to me. wtf does the B stand for

| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
NDen42 Profile Picture

Tangler @NDen42

a month ago

I wish I had met you before life changed me

| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
aotakeo Profile Picture

*sigh*clops @aotakeo

a month ago

I should not have to say this but: If I hand you my phone to show you a picture YOU DO NOT SWIPE

| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
GarlicCorgi Profile Picture

codename: reaper @GarlicCorgi

2 months ago

i had too much to think last night

| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
sonohoor Profile Picture

hoor @sonohoor

a month ago

“you never reply to messages” i am just one person okay i am understaffed

| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
cessonmute Profile Picture

✧ @cessonmute

a month ago

isolation the most goated coping mechanism i love talking to no one and losing my mind alone

| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
barrel_rolls Profile Picture

barrel rolls @barrel_rolls

2 months ago

i have read the room and decided to be illiterate

| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
highsieze6 Profile Picture

•ultra glitch• @highsieze6

2 months ago

this is the first of four tweets I intend to tweet

| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
MomOnFire Profile Picture

Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire

8 years ago

Oh, I'll go. But I'm bending the shit out of your mini blinds on my way out.

| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
tobestewart Profile Picture

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart

2 months ago

[montage of me thinking I’ll remember the tweet while I find my phone]

| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
highsieze6 Profile Picture

•ultra glitch• @highsieze6

2 months ago

go open the window im sending a transmission

| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
AnneHatfieldVO Profile Picture

Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO

2 months ago

You could put any frightened animal in a china shop and have the same results.

| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | retweeted
treydayway Profile Picture

Trey @treydayway

2 months ago

Americans are so bad at math that they truly can't comprehend how much richer a rich person is compared to the average person

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