POOPSCRUFFIN4U (alpha male) @POOPSCRUFFIN4U
i can't read or count. triple threat, baybeeeeee shitpost central Joined November 2013-
Tweets54K
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Followers12K
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Following3K
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Likes148K
show Kevin some love reddit.com/r/standupshots…
I’m visiting the Lawrence Public Library and found what is possibly the strongest opener for any book ever
the great irony of Texas is that many residents don't respect they/them pronouns but by the state's definition a pregnant woman is actually two people and therefore, legally speaking, a they/them
Brings a whole new meaning to piano stool
A ton of whales is less than one whale. But at least a buttload of underpants is one underpants.
I had another autistic fit over how The Tortured Poets Department sounds nothing like what a tortured poet would create and my husband says: "You misunderstand. Taylor Swift is not one of the poets. She was placed in their department to torture them." He is very, very wise.
puts you in the pear wiggler to atone for your sins
Nigga of the Day #CTESPN
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2Grant Tanaka: Honky @GrantTanaka
37K Followers 5K Following Anatomically correct. For the most part.Marcmywords @Marcmywords2
55K Followers 50K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation. https://t.co/92vEozoAvoPru @prufrockluvsong
20K Followers 2K Following humorisht | situation misunderstander | word maker upper | bit prolongerStefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve
25K Followers 10K Following you've been smooching with everybody Blocked by https://t.co/SziO9kNFRO https://t.co/DaU98OFAMvFinger Taints @ArtIsMyPorn
13K Followers 8K Following my head underwater, but I ain't in the shower and I ain't gettin baptized https://t.co/XoQNCGR9uiLord Rat Squirt @lordratsquirt
11K Followers 8K Following Screenwriter/co-creator/showrunner for the upcoming TLC series What the F*** is this S***? and Lifetime Network's Pet Waste Makeover. 🇺🇦trying to be funny on.. @elijahcraan
3K Followers 1K Following I do stand up comedy. 🤍@chopsueyside 🤍Kangaroo Jake @KangarooJackoff
3K Followers 4K Following Had a good scooby doo tweet once https://t.co/0WeJUIbJJtSwim Jeans 👖 @ShortSleeveSuit
21K Followers 752 Following Pilot. Mancub. Liar. 🍸🤘avi by @fro_vo / header by @marfsalvador https://t.co/6bJSdwHf8wBone Chocolates @BoneChocolates
6K Followers 2K Following Making my little jokes to distract myself from the terror of the walls closing in.c a l @Throne0fBlood
4K Followers 466 Following i am at my most powerful when i am scared @lilmeatiesMath Liker @stokestheorem
3K Followers 512 Following @KitchenAidUSA | all of my posts are firmly endorsed by my employerKarly Kingsley @karlykingsley
49K Followers 39K Following Not your Mama’s #MarthaStewart Politics l Writing l Legal Studies l Art | Food l LoveIrisRose @E1mE3xyxTmCEb
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159 Followers 659 Following 🚫For 120 year olds ONLY🚫 u have been warnedSomeone @Someone70537168
76 Followers 854 Following🇯🇵Taiki🇳🇱.. @taiki4575110982
326 Followers 5K Following I'm looking for a Dutch woman I met at a pub in Tokyo(Machida).🇯🇵🇳🇱 I have given her a wrong phone number... Thank you in advance for your cooperation.Oxycosmopolitan - Med.. @DuchessVonD
3K Followers 8K Following #PharmaSis Founded a firm. Went to prison. Adopted a cat w/ special needs. Martin Shkreli with a vagina. Run-of-the-pill-mill Silicon Valleygirl. Drug Scientistjoe @joe138066591670
0 Followers 29 FollowingRichard Glancy @GlancyRich22476
491 Followers 4K Following my name is rich and I am from Birmingham, erdington UK I'm bi like to cd and I would like to meet shemales,ladyboys,crossdressers for a relationship🏳️⚧️🍆💋👙@soothsayer @soothsayer9999
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65 Followers 62 FollowingFunny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
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165 Followers 664 Following They/Them. Stand-Up Comic & Cowboy Repro Scientist. I love my bicycle Personal, Non-affliated tweetsHinkHall @HansMolemannnnn
10 Followers 140 FollowingUncle Jimmy Jack Jeri.. @Comedian_NickM
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77 Followers 992 FollowingSanctions Kill - 🇵.. @kill_sanctions
454 Followers 845 Following Anti-war. Lowbie supreme. From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs🧼💦🧽 (2025 Co.. @McDonaldVs5Guy
781 Followers 1K Following (He-Him) 🏳️⚧️ Trans Rights Are Human Rights 🏳️🌈 LGTBQ Fam ✊🏿BlackPower 🇵🇸Free Palestine ✌️ 🔥🇮🇹🍝🇮🇹🔥 # S O M E T H I N G S L A S T F O R E V E RRex @Rexasaurus69
975 Followers 944 FollowingElon Musk @Elon_SpaceX_I
128 Followers 1K Following Elon Reeve Musk born June 28, 1971 is a businessman and investor. He is the founder, chairman, CEO, and CTO of SpaceX; angel investorEvangelical Atheist @ClydeAtheist
263 Followers 1K Following I secretly want people to think I’m a bot.Ghost Panther 2: Ghos.. @MackechnieNiall
176 Followers 972 Following Dreams of an Independent Scotland within the EU. Nazi cunts can fuck off. #BlackLivesMatter #FromTheRiverToTheSeaPalestineWillBeFreeMichael Schulze @Pancakeoflust
523 Followers 408 Following Times New Roman guy living in a Calibri worldBird Eckler @Birdeckler
2K Followers 3K Following Morsels of joy, mixed with sprinkles of outrage. Results may vary.. itysl b̶r̶i̶t̶t.. @_maybe_not_ever
14K Followers 1K Following Reclusive . uncomfortable . godawful jokes . small & strange . quietly curious . perpetually pessimistic . comedy lover . full-time nobody . i have gray hairs .calm_as_a_bomb 🇺�.. @calmasabomb2
1K Followers 1K Following "a little splash of razzmatazz" A libertarian and a librarian.Amy @AmysGotBirds
6K Followers 6K Following Thank you for the gift of your advice. By any chance, did you keep the receipt?Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2Grant Tanaka: Honky @GrantTanaka
37K Followers 5K Following Anatomically correct. For the most part.Marcmywords @Marcmywords2
55K Followers 50K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation. https://t.co/92vEozoAvoPru @prufrockluvsong
20K Followers 2K Following humorisht | situation misunderstander | word maker upper | bit prolongerFinger Taints @ArtIsMyPorn
13K Followers 8K Following my head underwater, but I ain't in the shower and I ain't gettin baptized https://t.co/XoQNCGR9uiLord Rat Squirt @lordratsquirt
11K Followers 8K Following Screenwriter/co-creator/showrunner for the upcoming TLC series What the F*** is this S***? and Lifetime Network's Pet Waste Makeover. 🇺🇦trying to be funny on.. @elijahcraan
3K Followers 1K Following I do stand up comedy. 🤍@chopsueyside 🤍Swim Jeans 👖 @ShortSleeveSuit
21K Followers 752 Following Pilot. Mancub. Liar. 🍸🤘avi by @fro_vo / header by @marfsalvador https://t.co/6bJSdwHf8wBone Chocolates @BoneChocolates
6K Followers 2K Following Making my little jokes to distract myself from the terror of the walls closing in.c a l @Throne0fBlood
4K Followers 466 Following i am at my most powerful when i am scared @lilmeatiesMath Liker @stokestheorem
3K Followers 512 Following @KitchenAidUSA | all of my posts are firmly endorsed by my employerSunshine Jarboly @SunshineJarboly
5K Followers 1K Following eagle trainer. puppy petter. drinker of milk. taker of naps. author. artist. my books available at https://t.co/tNhRJoHok6Henry 3000 @Henry_3000
31K Followers 12K Following Bad but not evil. I asked @JacCarly and she said, YES. 💍Brujo☠️Loco🖤Mi.. @patnspankme
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975 Followers 944 FollowingGhost Panther 2: Ghos.. @MackechnieNiall
176 Followers 972 Following Dreams of an Independent Scotland within the EU. Nazi cunts can fuck off. #BlackLivesMatter #FromTheRiverToTheSeaPalestineWillBeFreeBird Eckler @Birdeckler
2K Followers 3K Following Morsels of joy, mixed with sprinkles of outrage. Results may vary.Patrick Windrose @PatrickWindrose
109 Followers 165 Following Writer/Iconoclast 💙☸ This world is a swirling miasma of dumb, so fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. Love knows we suffer enough. But, laugh at that too. ᶠⁿᵒʳᵈAmy @AmysGotBirds
6K Followers 6K Following Thank you for the gift of your advice. By any chance, did you keep the receipt?calm_as_a_bomb 🇺�.. @calmasabomb2
1K Followers 1K Following "a little splash of razzmatazz" A libertarian and a librarian.. itysl b̶r̶i̶t̶t.. @_maybe_not_ever
14K Followers 1K Following Reclusive . uncomfortable . godawful jokes . small & strange . quietly curious . perpetually pessimistic . comedy lover . full-time nobody . i have gray hairs .DJBDJD @DJBDJD
668 Followers 800 Following Dad, Iraq veteran, bookworm & writer. My book, ‘100100’ is available on Amazon. My YouTube channel, BookMob. all about reading, readers & books.olivia @awlivh
563 Followers 1K Following I used to live in Kentucky and it’s still most of my personality⛓Jim Jones 2⛓🇵.. @coolmom_3000
421 Followers 366 Following marxist. welcome to goober world. non-bionicle. they/them. #femcel. MDNI.nikos @nikosnassafa
85 Followers 81 Following https://t.co/KUnOsA0p9C — science fiction for the whole family (and hentai)Dwyane Wade Boggs @vyviid
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6K Followers 3K FollowingBlastussy @Cheese_Blaster
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281 Followers 430 FollowingGavin Fullerton @GavinFullerton1
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208 Followers 658 Following 'A novel of a man,' I been called a tortured poet. I suppose I write occasionally, but I yell my ideas much better than I could ever write them.🌚 @tomruttle
346 Followers 1K FollowingI’m visiting the Lawrence Public Library and found what is possibly the strongest opener for any book ever
Brings a whole new meaning to piano stool
@POOPSCRUFFIN4U Okay, but can he explain Imagine Dragons? Because their music has nothing to do with imagining dragons, and in fact makes me less able to imagine dragons than normal.
@POOPSCRUFFIN4U "Just trying to stay humble"
puts you in the pear wiggler to atone for your sins
pooping is a hobby if you do it enough
New York is the best city man a whole crowd showed up to watch a guy eat a full container of cheese balls at 3 PM 😭
that’s crazy but personally if i see a crab trying to eat a baby turtle i will be killing the crab
Its illegal to help baby sea turtles escape predators if u dont have a permit. If you see this you have to leave it alone and respect the natural order of things
The secret to work life balance is generational wealth
@kukukadoo OK OK Adam is Angel, Satan is Spike
one good boyfriend, one evil boyfriend (vampire edition)
one good boyfriend. one evil boyfriend. those are the rules
since the beginning of time mankind has relied on the narrative structure of “girl has two boyfriends”
The natural narrative response to the Madonna-Whore dichotomy thrust upon women is to pursue psychosexual fulfillment through men who symbolically feed and support both those archetypes simultaneously in this essay I will