Wilde Thingy @wildethingy
I have nothing to declare except my top tweets - https://t.co/YApmhRImR4 twitter.com/search?q=from%… Bonnie Scotland Joined October 2011-
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Living with loneliness increases your odds of dying early by 45%, if you want to look on the bright side.
I'll happily stay in the friend zone as long as it has cake and a bouncy castle.
Is it just me or are old people getting much younger?
I'm doing my level best
If you're going to have a full existential meltdown online can you at least make it an amusing existential breakdown.
"Are you taking the piss?" - Bear Grylls, to his wife as she's preparing a picnic.
Sometimes the internet is great. Came across this and it made me chuckle. So, now I'm sharing it for no reason.
Sometimes the internet is great. Came across this and it made me chuckle. So, now I'm sharing it for no reason.
Blame evolution that you're not attracted to the guy who cleans the bathroom and instead prefer the dick who thinks he can beat up a bear.
Say what you want about virtual meetings but there are few things more liberating than attending a recruitment interview naked from the waist down.
Today I will mostly be trying to convince myself my existence is not absurd.
*travels back in time. *sneaks into sleeping Hitler's bedroom. *draws a dick on his forehead
Why’s it always “nyc smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”
Don't mind me. That's just my fear of poverty talking.
I'm socialist enough to believe that everybody with more money than me should have their wealth redistributed.
The sluttiest thing a man can do is walk 500 miles & then immediately proceed to walk 500 more, just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door.
If I was a helicopter pilot I'd soooo fall for this
If I was a helicopter pilot I'd soooo fall for this
Keeping it real, but only vaguely.
Nice to see this has been reposted outwith my usual circles, so I've been discovered by an exciting new audience: people who don't understand irony 🙄
Nice to see this has been reposted outwith my usual circles, so I've been discovered by an exciting new audience: people who don't understand irony 🙄
Like most people, the only reason I'm still on this platform is to complain about this platform.
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
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5 Followers 43 FollowingBöb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
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@wildethingy exactly, and I need to focus on task at hand
@wildethingy The photo or the potatoes? , great sack, that’s the softest looking burlap I have seen. there’s a sentence I never thought I’d be part of.
OMG, THAT'S A HOT POT O' SOUP WAITING TO HAPPEN. DAAAAAMN.
@wildethingy please dont and bring back your love handles so i can pick you up and hug you
And sometimes I’m grateful for my mental health struggles. At least, I’m never lonely. 🤷🏽♀️
Living with loneliness increases your odds of dying early by 45%, if you want to look on the bright side.
@fesshole This is the sort of brilliantly organised thing my mum would do, except once a year I have to go over and help her go through her spreadsheet of Christmas card labels, deleting everyone who's died, so she'd probably just get annoyed that she'd wasted a stamp.
@wildethingy Impulse control? I am unfamiliar with this word combination.
@wildethingy Just don't forget that your camera's on
Me, getting giddy after a breakup, "Yay, fun zone!"
I'll happily stay in the friend zone as long as it has cake and a bouncy castle.