Sweet Momissa @sweetmomissa
Like the song only saltier. Started as a blogger now I’m here. twitter.com/search?q=from%… Fort Something Joined December 2018-
Tweets124K
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Followers44K
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Following10K
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Likes194K
Sweet Momissa retweeted
I’m a real life Gen X but I’m a twitter boomer walking around muttering to myself “back in my day this place was fun”
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Sweet Momissa retweeted
So boring, even Alexa pretends she doesn't hear you anymore
Sweet Momissa retweeted
It’s 2024 and I get my sports news from an account called ‘ballsack sports’
Sweet Momissa retweeted
The gift of a non severe evening thunderstorm.
Sweet Momissa retweeted
Receive thank you email, fight urge to send back thank you email for the thank you email
Sweet Momissa retweeted
*Brings hugs to a knife fight* Cause some people just need one.
Sweet Momissa retweeted
If you want the missing sock in a pair to reappear, all you have to do is throw out the other sock. The missing one will show up soon after.
Sweet Momissa retweeted
She wouldn't have chosen the bear if you had just loved her when she was a worm.
Sweet Momissa retweeted
Can’t wait until my wife hears that someone tried to throw a wood-mounted singing largemouth bass in the garbage because it ran out of batteries
Sweet Momissa retweeted
I told the birthday clown on the other side of the ball pit the same thing I told the vasectomy doctor, you cross that threshold and I might start swinging
Sweet Momissa retweeted
Maintaining inner peace by remembering other people’s opinions of me are none of my business.
Sweet Momissa retweeted
Check on your friends who had to homeschool their kids during the pandemic, we are still not right in the head.
Sweet Momissa retweeted
Might start replying to every email with "You do you, Boo."
Me: it’s so cool how my friends are getting viral tweets now. Also me: I got a viral tweet? Ew, gross.
Sweet Momissa retweeted
Marriage is basically yelling things at each other from different rooms.
Sweet Momissa retweeted
my son just called a vegetable peeler a carrot sharpener so that’s what it is now
Sweet Momissa retweeted
I feel bad about a lot of things but right now I mostly feel bad about finishing this box of glazed doughnuts.
Sweet Momissa retweeted
I'm a delight! Just kidding, I'm fucking crazy
Sweet Momissa retweeted
If she has better dad jokes than you, you have to call her daddy, it's science.
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The better you recruit, the less likely you are to have a Hamas encampment
when he tells you to do something and adds ‘for me’ to the end of it >>>
Taught my kids to sprinkle goodness in everything they do just in case they wind up in a core memory ✨️
I’m a real life Gen X but I’m a twitter boomer walking around muttering to myself “back in my day this place was fun”
So boring, even Alexa pretends she doesn't hear you anymore
It’s 2024 and I get my sports news from an account called ‘ballsack sports’
Receive thank you email, fight urge to send back thank you email for the thank you email
*Brings hugs to a knife fight* Cause some people just need one.
If you want the missing sock in a pair to reappear, all you have to do is throw out the other sock. The missing one will show up soon after.
She wouldn't have chosen the bear if you had just loved her when she was a worm.
Can’t wait until my wife hears that someone tried to throw a wood-mounted singing largemouth bass in the garbage because it ran out of batteries
I told the birthday clown on the other side of the ball pit the same thing I told the vasectomy doctor, you cross that threshold and I might start swinging
Maintaining inner peace by remembering other people’s opinions of me are none of my business.
Check on your friends who had to homeschool their kids during the pandemic, we are still not right in the head.
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