Asia @AsiaDNYC
Beautiful idiot 🏳️🌈 Brooklyn, NY Joined April 2021-
Tweets4K
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Followers1K
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Following266
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Likes29K
Where should I stay in LA if I wanna be a fancy little goose? Hotel recommendations very welcome. Thinking Beverly Hills area. Ok thank you!
Pls don’t try to get to know me i am better as a concept
It’s going to be 80 degrees in New York today so Monday is cancelled where are we sunbathing and what are we drinking
Telling every beautiful woman in this bar that she has caused me to fall ill with a terrible case of the awoogas
I will refrain from visiting Hawaii as a tourist because I respect that the locals have asked us not to and also my ex lives there and I am absolutely terrified of her
Honestly very brave to post a gray sweatpants pic completely void of even the faintest dick outline
Honestly very brave to post a gray sweatpants pic completely void of even the faintest dick outline
“Why do you post thirst traps do you have a crush on someone?” yeah, myself
when i’m stressed out it really helps to hold all the world’s bad news six inches from my face til 2am
Ok so you’re telling me she definitely did not see Wonka then
Ok so you’re telling me she definitely did not see Wonka then
I like when cartoon sharks are given italian mobster voices. Very good choice imo.
before you call me an idiot consider this: i know
My “junk drawer?” This is New York, I don’t have storage, they’re all junk drawers! You need a pen? Check where I keep the utensils. Looking for a tea towel? That’s with the dog treats right next to the gas leak detector.
Husband is on a Boeing plane today so there’s like a 63% chance I’m gonna be single again in a few hours
Holding my breath as I walk under the elevated subway tracks hoping not to breathe in any of brooklyn’s famous subway confetti (lead paint chips)
jo @whatsJo
48K Followers 968 Following b-side. I eat popsicles for breakfast. Trial ft error. 🤖rights. crusha bit, lil bit✨
jon drake @DrakeGatsby
112K Followers 2K Following they must have amnesia, they forgot that im him. 1/2 of @blastzonepod. senior brand strategist for @trymetafy
Mariya Alexander @MariyaAlexander
20K Followers 929 Following Comedian and writer with a heart of cash for gold. Sentient meat sack. Very stable genius. https://t.co/btrGt4suBz
sweatpants cher🔸 @House_Feminist
32K Followers 633 Following • unverified account • orca sympathizer • she/her • 🔴 alt @thot_feminist
Trey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1X
octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman
32K Followers 3K Following cool ranch icarus, painter of LoveBots, king of diarrhea jokes
Abbi Crutchfield @curlycomedy
48K Followers 5K Following Hulu, Comedy Central, truTV, NBC, CBS • I joke a lot. • Mastadon: https://t.co/UymYo2qVSc • Bluesky: https://t.co/sRjqLg32ly
big boy online @idonotbleed
11K Followers 446 Following web page for reading my posts and being my.friend
The Sassiest Semite @LittleMissLizz
47K Followers 6K Following Tourette’s makes me twitchy. Mom made me sassy. Hebrew school gave me anxiety. Drummer. Pixie. Hockey fan. Muppet devotee. Punk rock Amélie. she/her
Pru @prufrockluvsong
20K Followers 2K Following humorisht | situation misunderstander | word maker upper | bit prolonger
kenzi @kenzianidiot
62K Followers 4K Following follow me for my dads weekly agendas! im also medium funny and have a very cute dog. | marketing at @dropout | she/her
Village Person @SvnSxty
31K Followers 4K Following If you support ethnic cleansing, kindly fuck off 😊 Find me and follow me @SvnSxty on all platforms. my tweets ⤵️
NurseBrianRN @rn_murse
19K Followers 826 Following Singer-Songscreamer I Gay Homosexual I Pubic Figure | Fourth Thing
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy
31K Followers 2K Following I have nothing to declare except my top tweets - https://t.co/YApmhRImR4
罗 @luo020215
19 Followers 411 Following
Derek Stevenson @DerekStevensonQ
2 Followers 23 Following I'm not saying I make a good idiot. Tha'ts unsaid.
Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilarious
Dustin Beavers, PhD @dustinbeavers
5K Followers 5K Following White douchebag with chronic idiocy. Sometimes bullied, but only when I deserve it. Shaved balls, hairy asshole, God bless America.
Hugo Lacavex @HugoLacavex
5K Followers 985 Following | Cronista de lo irrelevante | Evangelista de la cultura pop | Entusiasta musical | Siempre tengo ganas de algo dulce | 👾
Matt @Mtkeely
443 Followers 337 Following I make a great omelette. Critical Care RN in North Dumbfuckastan.
mayorbd @mayorbd
301 Followers 3K Following I swear a lot. Sorry in advance. #Pitt #Pens #Steelers #Pirates #IUP #UK #RandomBS
DR🌻 @daesr1
661 Followers 2K Following Parent and former attorney. Roe, Roe, Roe your vote… Threads @daesr99
eric extra dry @ericinellenwood
541 Followers 664 Following Squandering far too much of my precious time by following mostly dirty minded yet good hearted people on twitter.
Michael Davis @damaru_inc
404 Followers 2K Following I've been doing software development/architecting for about 30 years, mostly in the back-end enterprise world, public and private sector.
Lemons @anndemeulememe
447 Followers 596 Following
Jonathan Bookbinder @jonathantroll
158 Followers 746 Following Mostly my kids, my cats, my photography and my politics. Surely you have something better to do.
Joke @dian97011
132 Followers 1K Following
Steve @Steve7155529133
32 Followers 14 Following
Jeff Schwartzman @Ethelssoninlaw
2K Followers 3K Following RETIRED high school math teacher, conservative Conservative Jew, Torah reader, Zionist, ginger. Pronouns: who, whom, whose #SFGiants, #49ers. UCLA '77 #Resist46
Mae Lamarr • NYC @MaeLamarrNYC
8K Followers 3K Following sweetheart of the rodeo✨southern good time gal in NYC and beyond 💌: [email protected]
Sawney Bean Soup @kalsotanukihak1
59 Followers 71 Following
ra @ra3828886054285
0 Followers 13 Following
Ballgame @SquatCrimsonPig
484 Followers 3K Following
Benny Boy @Camel_Crushin
10K Followers 6K Following
AltPrincessLeia @TheRealShandaZ
131 Followers 515 Following
Cannot Retrieve Tweet.. @jdizzle635
943 Followers 3K Following Dogs. Plants. Cubs. Saints. #HailState. Basic human decency for the most part. [email protected] $JohnAndSancho
Pat Rices Hotpants @Pats_Hotpants
406 Followers 494 Following The unofficial, self-proclaimed, number 2 parody account of Pat Rice's figure-hugging hotpants.
Not Your Rich @carmanard
2K Followers 3K Following a daily dose of narrowly averted disaster keeps one happy and alert
Shayana Kadidal @ShayanaKadidal
1K Followers 639 Following Attorney at the Center for Constitutional Rights. Quintessence of dust.
elizabeth 🌺🌼�.. @lissynb39
586 Followers 4K Following Texican Catholic/Dem from the Frontera/ Military Mom/Boy mom/UTA Longhorn 🤘🏽mom/Bobcat mom ✝️✡️☮️❤️🙏🏽A💃🏻
shannon @attilathehoneyb
2K Followers 3K Following She/Her. Freakin weirdo. I feel things, really feel them. Often about pop culture and cuddly animals. Then, I get bored and fall asleep.
Eileen - Amazingly En.. @unionwoman226
4K Followers 4K Following ChildFree ProChoice Over-Educated Canadian Humanist Dipper She/Her 🦂
co @esquvi
1K Followers 5K Following
Grizzled @ursid_68
41 Followers 170 Following Political centrist(?), militant agnostic, dedicated eater of cured meats and cheeses
Jules Albertini @JulesAlbertini
6 Followers 11 Following
Hyde @wordwizard47
113 Followers 116 Following Monster, poet, author, and dreamer. Southern California is home. Not sure how long I'm here but I'm here now.
Independent George @IndependentGeo6
785 Followers 1K Following Independent no more, this George is now straight-Dem-ticket. Appalled by Trump, and disgusted by all that directly support him or enable him with their silence.
HappyJayHawk @HappyJayHawk1
3K Followers 5K Following Happy Bernese dad and Jayhawk, healthcare consultant, writer, and lucky husband and stepdad to amazing people. Oh, and #RESISTOR. #voteblue
Olaf The Weak @AIRobotComic
1K Followers 2K Following The “Peace” chancellor. Funny for a German. Record shooting down Taurus: 100%.
Andrew Robinson 🇺�.. @Arob19
743 Followers 1K Following #resistance, gonna work and vote for 2024 dems, dog lover, creativity that matters, opinions are my own
Mr. Joe Valentine @SirSloppyJoe
275 Followers 442 Following Sometimes you gotta like em extra sloppy.
Jenna @Jenna2401020084
5 Followers 247 Following Learn from your mistakes and failures, for they are opportunities for growth and self-improvement.
jo @whatsJo
48K Followers 968 Following b-side. I eat popsicles for breakfast. Trial ft error. 🤖rights. crusha bit, lil bit✨
jon drake @DrakeGatsby
112K Followers 2K Following they must have amnesia, they forgot that im him. 1/2 of @blastzonepod. senior brand strategist for @trymetafy
Mariya Alexander @MariyaAlexander
20K Followers 929 Following Comedian and writer with a heart of cash for gold. Sentient meat sack. Very stable genius. https://t.co/btrGt4suBz
sweatpants cher🔸 @House_Feminist
32K Followers 633 Following • unverified account • orca sympathizer • she/her • 🔴 alt @thot_feminist
Trey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1X
octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman
32K Followers 3K Following cool ranch icarus, painter of LoveBots, king of diarrhea jokes
Abbi Crutchfield @curlycomedy
48K Followers 5K Following Hulu, Comedy Central, truTV, NBC, CBS • I joke a lot. • Mastadon: https://t.co/UymYo2qVSc • Bluesky: https://t.co/sRjqLg32ly
big boy online @idonotbleed
11K Followers 446 Following web page for reading my posts and being my.friend
The Sassiest Semite @LittleMissLizz
47K Followers 6K Following Tourette’s makes me twitchy. Mom made me sassy. Hebrew school gave me anxiety. Drummer. Pixie. Hockey fan. Muppet devotee. Punk rock Amélie. she/her
🥴steph🥴 @eff_yeah_steph
22K Followers 1K Following she/her, Chief Editor for Pathos Literary Magazine at PSU Words in @EntropyMag @svjlit @xraylitmag @NewSouthJournal @punkymomsdotcom and here
donni saphire @donni
60K Followers 2K Following Skeptical of most squirrels. Friendly comedian. More jokes on @[email protected]. Producer on The Love Below at Beermiscuous in Lincoln Park. Hat avoider.
Pru @prufrockluvsong
20K Followers 2K Following humorisht | situation misunderstander | word maker upper | bit prolonger
kenzi @kenzianidiot
62K Followers 4K Following follow me for my dads weekly agendas! im also medium funny and have a very cute dog. | marketing at @dropout | she/her
big honkin caboose @itsmegangraves
72K Followers 981 Following comic, writer, certified hottie ❤️🔥 my debut comedy special Don’t Sleep With Comedians is out now on YouTube 💖 🪩✨
Mae Lamarr • NYC @MaeLamarrNYC
8K Followers 3K Following sweetheart of the rodeo✨southern good time gal in NYC and beyond 💌: [email protected]
Jules Albertini @JulesAlbertini
6 Followers 11 Following
Mark Yarm @markyarm
13K Followers 3K Following Ex @buzzfeednews, @inputmag 🐉 bylines: @NewYorker, @NYTimes 🐉 contributor: @longlead, @itsflaminghydra 🐉 book: EVERYBODY LOVES OUR TOWN 🐉 [email protected]
Feminist Press @FeministPress
70K Followers 5K Following Creating a world where everyone recognizes themselves in a book.
Devon Michaels @devonmaycare
253 Followers 225 Following actor, writer, director, a bit of a perfectionist -- wait, I didn’t say that right… kind of OCD. oh, and the only person in the world who knows how to drive
Rachel C. Abrams @RachelAbramsNY
12K Followers 919 Following Reporter @ The New York Times / 620 8th ave. NY, NY 10018 / [email protected] / please send tips via email, snail mail or the secure link in my profile
peach 🍑🇵🇸 @peachontwitta
9K Followers 2K Following getting people drunk for a living since ‘08. please don’t fall in love with me.
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy
31K Followers 2K Following I have nothing to declare except my top tweets - https://t.co/YApmhRImR4
Pete Lee @kungfupete
2K Followers 2K Following had a short film at sundance, shot a book that won the james beard, but I just wanna become the menswear guy of kungfu movies
Jeremy London 🐋 @SirJeremyLondon
19K Followers 6K Following Director of Best Comedy short at CANNES FILM FEST, TS QUINT in MALLRATS and GRIFFIN on PO5, Proud father and Papa to grandbaby Kingston ❤️ AVID DISC GOLFER!!!!!
Matt Goldich @MattGoldich
22K Followers 2K Following I write jokes for @latenightseth. Stand-up special NO QUESTIONS ASKED out now! https://t.co/ZzVOeIGJie
Statute of Frogs 🐸.. @LegalThey
1K Followers 4K Following Just in here talking to myself 🇵🇷✡️ ⚖️ mandie (they/he/she)
eLeni @eleniZarro
17K Followers 2K Following Be funny, be kind, but ffs stop saying literally. My best hits: https://t.co/aXLLBNuMx3 🐎 💜
Jason Not Evil @JasonNotEvil
17K Followers 4K Following Screenwriter and fart joke enthusiast Popular tweets: https://t.co/cVlfPJFRBK
Kevin Flood @FLOOKLYN
50K Followers 43K Following Joke Writer. I'm not that bad. For booking, please call an agent & tell them about me.
Miss Moneypenny @MoneypennyNaked
48K Followers 7K Following The art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go & holding on. • Cat tweets: https://t.co/j9ulDA4QKN
Solidarity with Colum.. @OrangeFreddyG
9K Followers 4K Following Never gonna have a blue check, always gonna be real. Standup Comic and Leftist. 45 million views on Social Media. History Pod⬇️
Katie D @KatieDeal99
16K Followers 2K Following Bios are hard. On Instagram as katiedeal99 https://t.co/iMruSPyTav
Mike Coulter @MikeCoulter21
281 Followers 1K Following 9-5 is how you survive. I'm not tryin' to survive, I'm tryin' to live it to the limit and love it a lot.
NYC Sanitation @NYCSanitation
91K Followers 56 Following World's largest municipal sanitation force. We collect 24M pounds of trash/recycling a day. Acct. not monitored 24 hrs. User policy: https://t.co/FXBTkGSTAh
GeronimoBPM 🟦 🟧 @GeronimoBPM
11K Followers 3K Following ***OPINIONS ARE MY OWN*** Head/VP/Electronic Dance Music Programming. I can be heard weekday mornings and Saturdays 6pm E/3pm P-Ally to kindness
Kris Mohandie @DrKrisMohandie
3K Followers 922 Following Forensic psychology, clinical and police psychology. Operational consultation, threat assessment, research and publication.
Scott Leger @Scotterybarn
4K Followers 3K Following director + writer // Cannes, AFF, SeriesFest // Colorado expat // late round pick with high upside // you miss 100% of the takes you don’t shoot
courtneybonneauimages @cbonneauimages
47K Followers 13K Following
smerobin @smerobin
6K Followers 2K Following I'm not sure how I got here but I'm pretty sure I carried a watermelon.
justin herman @JustinMHerman
8K Followers 4K Following Stand up comedian, television producer and a third interesting thing
🗜⛺️🏗🛴�.. @Carlo_ThChThr
2K Followers 2K Following a record collector with an affinity for film scores
Adam @YSylon
8K Followers 2K Following Humor | Misc | latest: https://t.co/BmbpshxRP9 | More & better ⬇️
Michael Garcia @theMikeGarcia
1K Followers 967 Following Actor/Voice Actor SAG-AFTRA. -VO Rep: Coast To Coast Talent -Commercial On Cam Rep: DPN Photographer/Director.
City of New York @nycgov
1.4M Followers 256 Following Official New York City government Twitter. Join us for #NYC #news 🗞️, #photos 📸, #free events 🎊, real-time #notifications 🚨, and more. We ❤️ NYC.
NYC Mayor's Office @NYCMayorsOffice
1.0M Followers 713 Following Tweeting live from the greatest city hall in the world. Team @NYCMayor. Here to #GetStuffDone for the Bronx, Staten Island, Queens, Brooklyn and Manhattan.
Begging some of you to imagine how you'd feel about this exact sequence of events if the president was the other guy.
They don’t even do this for school shootings.
Absolutely insane footage of the NYPD entering Columbia University. It’s endless.
“You only like being f’d by things that hate you as much as you hate yourself” Brittany Snow’s #Parachute 🪂 starring Courtney Eaton and Thomas Mann shows a life in freefall. It is extraordinary. My review for @TheirLeague @ofcs intheirownleague.com/2024/04/26/rev…
Tomorrow Congress is holding more hearings on whether Jewish students feel safe enough, while tonight, Zionist protestors at UCLA are launching fireworks directly into the Palestine encampment, tearing down camp infrastructure & attacking students
@AsiaDNYC Avalon is pretty chill and near BH Chateau Marmont and Modrian are in WeHo on the Sunset Strip All very fancy (but pricey)
i think i’m finally ready to admit to all of you that i always thought it was “i am the sun… i am the air”
@AsiaDNYC Oceana in Santa Monica; it’s a Hilton property but it’s small boutique hotel vibes. Love it.
@AsiaDNYC I’ve stayed at the Elan Hotel a couple of times. A couple of blocks away from the Beverly Centre. Really nice without being crazy expensive.
@AsiaDNYC If you are partial to Hilton properties, the Waldorf Astoria Beverly Hills or the Cameo.
@AsiaDNYC I’m in LA for the next 10 days! Text me if that’s when you’re here too
naz (wedding guest edition)
Excited to announce I’ve been paid $5,000,000 for my new comedy special, “They Won’t Let You Do Comedy Anymore” for a big streamer. It’s shot at an opera house that sits 5,000 cheering fans. My opening bit will be about me being silenced. The rest will be how much I hate my wife
Jerry Seinfeld saying you can't write sitcoms anymore because of woke despite the fact his old writing partner just wrapped up a 24-year run of one of the most beloved sitcoms of all time, is arguably the funniest thing he's done in decades - funnier even than Bee Movie, perhaps
My thoughts on the wave of campus protests happening across the country.
Dipping a New York Hotdog in the East River and obtaining immunity to all diseases.
Went to Roatan to dip my mango in the ocean like Rihanna! And it’s so good!!! 😩
"You couldn't make Seinfeld today" yes you absolutely could. Seinfeld isn't that fucking edgy. it remains popular to this day. Jerry's entire comedy career is based on harmless, banal observations crafted for wide audiences. he didn't even swear. what the hell is he talking about
Jerry Seinfeld: PC culture and fear of offending people is killing funny shows. "When you write a script and it goes into four or five different hands, committee, groups—'here's our thought about this joke'—well that's the end of your comedy."
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