Natasha Something @IfIwassomething
not in the last place you'd expect https://t.co/3fXb59eAtL etsy.com/shop/NotYourAv… loading Joined April 2018-
Tweets103K
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Followers9K
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Following4K
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Likes181K
Natasha Something retweeted
Once your vacuum cleaner’s had a taste for blood you’ve got to put it down
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Natasha Something retweeted
A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?
Natasha Something retweeted
Like the bear attack scene in The Revenant, only it’s me trying to find the end of a roll of packing tape
Natasha Something retweeted
Another day, another suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous horseshit
Natasha Something retweeted
Went to the coast for a few days. Spent the whole time facing the cliffs. I refuse to look at the ocean. That's poets' business. I'll not be concerning myself with splendour.
Natasha Something retweeted
Occupant sounds like a lot of pant legs
Natasha Something retweeted
Have you done or said anything? You might be an entitled piece of shit. Shut up.
Natasha Something retweeted
I am a connoisseur of the finest mediocre shit available
Natasha Something retweeted
I wasn’t built from millions of years of stardust to “reply to an email”
Natasha Something retweeted
Thinking of ingenious ways to get revenge on my brain.
Natasha Something retweeted
Before the advent of the kiss-cam, we made out at basketball games unobserved, like trees falling in an empty forest.
Natasha Something retweeted
I’ve decided to open my own business. It’s a combination dance studio/international airport.
Natasha Something retweeted
Some people are scared of spiders and some people are scared of clowns but EVERYONE should be afraid of spiders dressed as clowns.
Natasha Something retweeted
IKEA INTERVIEWER: Welcome. Make a seat. ME: Lol, you mean take a seat? INTERVIEWER: *throwing a screwdriver at my head* MAKE A SEAT
Natasha Something retweeted
How do I select that I'm actually a robot
Natasha Something retweeted
We'll be like Penn and Teller baby, you do all the talking, and I'll just stand there looking stupid
Natasha Something retweeted
You know what's really scary? A vampire clown, because, how can he even see his reflection to do his makeup?
Natasha Something retweeted
Apologies for the last tweet my brain is under new management
Natasha Something retweeted
Oh the happy hours we spent in the nursery, Nanny and I, distilling tar.
Natasha Something retweeted
you can achieve anything if you just put your mind to it. for example, i just saw a dead fish on the freeway
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Reverend Lars 🇺�.. @ReverendLars
2K Followers 2K Following Sentient hominid. Cancer survivor, so far! Dual citizen. Lover of things with six strings or vacuum tubes. Democrat. Everybody be nice to each other, m'kay??
Once your vacuum cleaner’s had a taste for blood you’ve got to put it down
If you see a guy faceplant into an automatic door, come up and say hi
A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?
Like the bear attack scene in The Revenant, only it’s me trying to find the end of a roll of packing tape
Another day, another suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous horseshit
Went to the coast for a few days. Spent the whole time facing the cliffs. I refuse to look at the ocean. That's poets' business. I'll not be concerning myself with splendour.
Why did nobody bother to come up with an English word for cul-de-sac?
Have you done or said anything? You might be an entitled piece of shit. Shut up.
not gonna lie boys. i am not in the Auto Zone right now
Master Gardener needed to manage .33 suburban acres. We don't know how it got like this. Please help us. Portfolio required.
🎶🎹playing around with the "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" theme ~ the idea of a darker more mysterious tilt to how it develops always appealed to me
I am a connoisseur of the finest mediocre shit available
I wasn’t built from millions of years of stardust to “reply to an email”
Made it through this depressive episode without killing any plants.
Thinking of ingenious ways to get revenge on my brain.
Your life will be shorter than you expect. Fortunately, also worse.
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Sophisticated & worldly? Yes, I can identify all the Muppets who sing the Twelve Days of Christmas with John Denver.
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