Her Tall Boots @fuzzlime
sorry i'm not the needle in the haystack https://t.co/mcelrYf16a (featuring my one-eyed cat from the hood plus me cleaning urinals) x.com/search?q=from%… DETROIT Joined May 2009-
Tweets156K
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Followers34K
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Following5K
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Likes197K
Her Tall Boots retweeted
I may not be easy to love, but at least I shave my legs sometimes
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Her Tall Boots retweeted
if I say "your guess is good as mine" it usually means your guess would be far superior because I wasn't paying attention to the question
Her Tall Boots retweeted
sometimes I sit in traffic and marvel at the fact that every car around me contains distinct individuals, with wildly varying lives and personalities, all temporarily united in their desire to piss me off
Her Tall Boots retweeted
There are recipes where dough must REST, of all things.
Her Tall Boots retweeted
My backyard? Perhaps you didn't see all ten bird feeders. Clearly, you mean the “habitat.”
Her Tall Boots retweeted
The internet is so great. It's a place where you could say 2+2=4 and someone will reply with "Why do you think all Indians should be deported?"
Her Tall Boots retweeted
I’m making a Pope Leo XIV memory box. Could somebody from Chicago send me whatever persnickety hot dog you people eat?
Her Tall Boots retweeted
Don't mind me, I'm just judging you while drinking wine out of a mustard jar.
Her Tall Boots retweeted
Why play “got your nose” when the eye is a far more marketable organ?
Her Tall Boots retweeted
Household tip: If you set your water pic on the highest setting, you can remove the tomato sauce stains from your Tupperware.
Her Tall Boots retweeted
I don’t give out candy on Labor Day unless your costume is instantly recognizable as Samuel Gompers.
Her Tall Boots retweeted
Got kicked out of Kroger‘s again, this time for mixing the nectarines and peaches in the fruit display.
Her Tall Boots retweeted
The first person to come up with 45- minute martinizing is going to make a killing.
Her Tall Boots retweeted
Whenever the power goes out, I just go around sticking a fork in outlets to see if I can find one still working.
Her Tall Boots retweeted
Just think of how much they have to starve those poor cows to give 2% milk.
Her Tall Boots retweeted
Consider the lilies of the field; They toil not, and while you’re doing that, I will be over here going through your stuff.
Her Tall Boots retweeted
Excuse me, I have to go to an intervention for my urologist.
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