Frank Chips @dad_chips
sheesh kebab, geez fries, yikes salad https://t.co/tM0MJwouq5 Joined April 2010-
Tweets139K
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Followers4K
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Following4K
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Likes186K
lizard: damn, nice lamp, mind if i bask ? me: whole reason i got it lizard: sick. i could do this all day me: whole reason i got u
doomed whaling voyage
You get to pick one thing to be good at every week - working out, cooking, no screens, kicking ass at work, clean house. If you try to pick two things, you get sent to the back of the line and get no things.
Staring into space for 10 minutes and then writing “Stamps travel the world for free” in my moleskine
me: how about this one? neutral players. they can score for either team and you have to win them over. lebron james: (early stages of stockholm syndrome) that's good, that's a good one. i actually suggested that one time
my foes fire their pistols at my feet and i perform a dance so hauntingly beautiful it brings them to tears
ball peen is an absolutely crazy name for a hammer
Probably not because those are stars
Probably not because those are stars
you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.
Wall-E is probably the most human love story of all: little gremlin man that collects cool shit meets shiny lady that wants him to have more plants.
Noooo babe idc about girth master you’re forklift certified that’s what matters
Intro to the new Star Wars film looks good!
Forklift too big
Who is she?
To be completely honestly man only 2 out of 10 dentists recommended this toothpaste but they both have quite esoteric taste and are always early on things that later become cult classics
At a glance, totally thought this cat was giving a lecture
At a glance, totally thought this cat was giving a lecture
I’m going through a metamorphosis, which is like a regular morphosis, except I occasionally wink at the audience.
does any one know where i could find some Unsolicited advice? preferably from people with weird personality disorders who dont know anything
One of the funniest Itchy and Scratchy moments
Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbol
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •
meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
Village Person @SvnSxty
31K Followers 4K Following If you support ethnic cleansing, kindly fuck off 😊 Find me and follow me @SvnSxty on all platforms. my tweets ⤵️
NurseBrianRN @rn_murse
19K Followers 825 Following Singer-Songscreamer I Gay Homosexual I Pubic Figure | Fourth Thing
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
Fomo Simpson @HaliPhacks
8K Followers 3K Following Keeping it funny on Twitter since its early days as a radio show. My tweets ➡️ https://t.co/Z2tnWjzeDx
President Warren G. H.. @PopeAwesomeXIII
13K Followers 2K Following Commercially Inviable. ✌️ 29th US President (1921-1923) 🧐 Tip jar! https://t.co/Igf16XkzWv ❤ He/Him 👍 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏴☠️ ❤️ See pinned for migration info
your other mom @difficultpatty
37K Followers 965 Following Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://t.co/sVPCoTC4Pw
Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
ADHDean @ADHDeanASL
23K Followers 5K Following BLACK LIVES MATTER. Husband, dad, friend. Ally. ASL Interpreter. Doofus. Midvale School for the Gifted alum. Mastodon: [email protected]
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
Vinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness
16K Followers 2K Following Domesticated Husband Father of 2 Ransacking Raccoons.Featured on @netflixfamily @buzzfeed @thedad IG @Chhapiness Shows & Inquiries-https://t.co/F6Q2TKOV1M
cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname
11K Followers 2K Following slowly backing away. TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/K8oKqyuL84 click below for recent. I’m the same guy at the other places.
Royotathon 🚘 @Royotathon
12K Followers 869 Following idiot. one time documentary subject. Métis. he/him https://t.co/wJiiuU7cAz
Nate Limit Exceeded @.. @perlhack
22K Followers 6K Following @natesmith.jawns.club homeless pirate. sustainable, carbon-neutral tweets. butterfly whisperer. official soup taster. likes LEGOs BLM. He/Him.
Nicolai, Ⓥ, Pigonee.. @larvikviking
2K Followers 1K Following Married, technologist, atheist, gamer Born @ 327.45 ppm #GoVegan, #NarkoTwitter, #Pigoneer, #Palestine, #Ukraine Trump is a 🤡
milk but passed the d.. @but_milk
1K Followers 5K Following out of jail for shitting on a car (on hood) at Hess gas and someone spraypainted my dog pink . life has just pissed directly into my eyes and mouth and tonsils
old jumpers @oldjumpers
33K Followers 2K Following stand-up comedian and comedy writer floating through a master’s in history
Queeny Grace @QueenyGrac80092
9 Followers 625 Following
Melissa Scott @Melissascott199
33 Followers 620 Following
mamadou Jallow @camara_abd19993
32 Followers 425 Following
Baby Bunny Aubrey @xbreyz3
19 Followers 304 Following Just a glimpse of sweetness with a wild side 🌹 Creating stories in the city of dreams 💭 Follow your curiosity... find out more 👇
Spellbound @Spell_boundd
23K Followers 7K Following Perpetually tired girl mom ♡ lover of naps, pretty skies and cheese ♡ ***I don't answer dms***
12 Willows Press @12WillowsPress
2K Followers 3K Following We're an indy publisher of books highlighting the importance of ecological balance, sustainability, and the natural world
Emily @DSoldatke10362
150 Followers 2K Following I want to accompany a gentleman to travel around the world. If you like me, then you can send me a private message!
Gina Ruiz @GinaRuiz724131
7 Followers 166 Following 🍯Dulce como la miel pero picante como la abeja 🐝 🌴 Amante de la aventura y la naturaleza 🌴
sanjiv shrestha @4shrestha1235
123 Followers 3K Following
southofhevn @southofhevn
325 Followers 710 Following
𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐞�.. @staceyystreamss
16 Followers 668 Following Your streamer babygirl next door. Will do anything twice🎮 📩⬅️
Annabelle 💗 @hung_bratz9836
65 Followers 2K Following Pre-Op Trans girl 🏳️⚧️ princess with a twist follow my main @xts_annabelle
Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilarious
Ointmental @Ointmental
1K Followers 1K Following 'Cartoon, Camera, Caffeine' freak with an awesome hental mealth. I may be older, but I am certainly not wiser. Don't believe a word I say unless you want to 😾
Sarah Everett @goddammitsarah
11K Followers 1K Following digital sorceress ⚡ does anyone know how to curse a real sword
Kristina 💕 @royalty165
27 Followers 5K Following your fav 🎶 music 🎧 junkie 🎵 follow my main: @x_kristinab
Eraina ❤️ @Eraina0725
360 Followers 1K Following Mom and Proud Grammy. I love my Sons! Grieving my marriage. Just leave me alone. NO FUCKING DM'S! message me and I will block you
Jessica Weaver @Richard17770531
226 Followers 1K Following My Account got hacked my someone..this is my new account and I'm only on this site no other site
Tim Lamca @timlamca1502
71 Followers 102 Following
Monica Singh @MonicaSing7573
411 Followers 6K Following
Lucilla Leigh @CandiedWhispers
3K Followers 4K Following Romance & Erotica Writer. Unveiling desire in tantalizing tales. Let's explore the erotic realm together. #SensualScribe #EroticEscapades
Bebe Joseph65891 @JosephBebe65891
44 Followers 437 Following
ourlittlesecretx @cumonmeliv
355 Followers 343 Following All natural besides the boobs 🤭💋 $25 to join: beem it & PayPal - livstor3r
Pinky 🌹 @AbdulgafarYus10
29 Followers 5K Following gamer squad 🚀 hihi 🌈👾 follow my main: @pinkyb00ty
Barbi 🍧 @callmeadea8438
24 Followers 2K Following Post-Op Trans girl 🏳️⚧️ princess with a twist follow my main account @pradabarbix
strange girl @iswwwag
5K Followers 1K Following $i434 🩻 // 24 // $30 dm fee // MDNI // @iii777444333
Diary of Samuel Pepys @DPepys31853
3K Followers 2K Following The detailed private diary that Pepys kept from 1660 until 1669.
난정화 @6PY9zJMlYv5760
11 Followers 2K Following
The Real Kim Shady @boobalander
2K Followers 656 Following yeah it’s me, ur favorite baddie. anyway, $4 a pound
Heartwalker @Herzwandler
814 Followers 811 Following 💜 The rare kind of person you long for is here with us. 💜 • https://t.co/Vk2wDOrrpa 🇺🇸 • https://t.co/MoUDKQ2sXJ 🇩🇪 • Recently returned to X
Nate Armbruster @natecomedy
3K Followers 2K Following I like to write jokes. And tell those jokes to audiences in the form of stand-up comedy.
Hillary ❤️ @hilarybad93883
27 Followers 2K Following trans girl 🏳️⚧️ i’m not active on this acc, follow @hillary_ts
Barbi 💕 @pradabarbi7697
18 Followers 2K Following Post-Op Trans girl 🏳️⚧️ princess with a twist follow my main @pradabarbix
Hillary ❤️ @tshilarry80077
24 Followers 1K Following trans girl 🏳️⚧️ i’m not active on this acc, follow @hillary_ts
Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbol
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •
SneezingWithWetMascar.. @WetMascara
20K Followers 2K Following Yes, THAT Thanksgiving tweet. My Faves: https://t.co/90HdOEinlH Recent Tweets in Link Below.
meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
Village Person @SvnSxty
31K Followers 4K Following If you support ethnic cleansing, kindly fuck off 😊 Find me and follow me @SvnSxty on all platforms. my tweets ⤵️
NurseBrianRN @rn_murse
19K Followers 825 Following Singer-Songscreamer I Gay Homosexual I Pubic Figure | Fourth Thing
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
Fomo Simpson @HaliPhacks
8K Followers 3K Following Keeping it funny on Twitter since its early days as a radio show. My tweets ➡️ https://t.co/Z2tnWjzeDx
President Warren G. H.. @PopeAwesomeXIII
13K Followers 2K Following Commercially Inviable. ✌️ 29th US President (1921-1923) 🧐 Tip jar! https://t.co/Igf16XkzWv ❤ He/Him 👍 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏴☠️ ❤️ See pinned for migration info
your other mom @difficultpatty
37K Followers 965 Following Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://t.co/sVPCoTC4Pw
Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
ADHDean @ADHDeanASL
23K Followers 5K Following BLACK LIVES MATTER. Husband, dad, friend. Ally. ASL Interpreter. Doofus. Midvale School for the Gifted alum. Mastodon: [email protected]
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
Vinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness
16K Followers 2K Following Domesticated Husband Father of 2 Ransacking Raccoons.Featured on @netflixfamily @buzzfeed @thedad IG @Chhapiness Shows & Inquiries-https://t.co/F6Q2TKOV1M
cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname
11K Followers 2K Following slowly backing away. TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/K8oKqyuL84 click below for recent. I’m the same guy at the other places.
The Road Jess Travell.. @JessPected
12K Followers 2K Following Feminist. Atheist. Progressive. Intersectional. Pro-Abortion. Bot collector extraordinaire. Enthusiastic blocker of ads, checks, & bigots.
Nate Wolff @proffwolff
8K Followers 5K Following Highly respected Moby-Dickfluencer | Associate Director, The Frank Norris Center for the Dental Humanities
Dan Hentschel @danghentschel
177K Followers 1K Following A permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Lucy Huber @clhubes
80K Followers 2K Following editor @mcsweeneys Mother of: 👦🏼👶🏼🐈⬛🐈🐠🐌 Writer? Hungry. Tired.
Ross 'Ross 'Ross McLe.. @strongmisgiving
3K Followers 2K Following An Ideas Man. SBT New Writers Award for Fiction 2019. 'Endorse Me, You Cowards!' out with @StewedBooks. I believe in repetition and Carly Rae Jepsen. He/Him.
milk but passed the d.. @but_milk
1K Followers 5K Following out of jail for shitting on a car (on hood) at Hess gas and someone spraypainted my dog pink . life has just pissed directly into my eyes and mouth and tonsils
old jumpers @oldjumpers
33K Followers 2K Following stand-up comedian and comedy writer floating through a master’s in history
Catherine Warr @HiddenYorkshire
4K Followers 872 Following Historian, filmmaker, author. Bringing a Gen Z Fred Dibnah vibe. https://t.co/YlfDOo9E4e
Dopey The Dumbfuck @pete_irons87206
8K Followers 1K Following
Kattoo King @SimplyKattoo
356 Followers 226 Following Comedienne, fashion designer, podcastress (One Pod, Spring Break 1985)
“holden” “seidl.. @jock__derrida
9K Followers 983 Following enfant terrible of @newyorker; broken and smoking where the infrared deer plunge in the digital snake; writing a @333books about @brighteyesband
emmy rākete 🇵🇸 @cannibality
13K Followers 2K Following ☭ 31 ☭ Māori communist ☭ press spokes @againstprisons ☭ lecturer in Criminology @aucklanduni ☭ @kendra_c__ ❤️ ☭ opinions here are personal ☭
Minneapolis 4/26-27 @tommybayertime
19K Followers 872 Following doin stand up for now @wecoolpodcast email me for stuff [email protected]
southofhevn @southofhevn
325 Followers 710 Following
Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilarious
Ointmental @Ointmental
1K Followers 1K Following 'Cartoon, Camera, Caffeine' freak with an awesome hental mealth. I may be older, but I am certainly not wiser. Don't believe a word I say unless you want to 😾
Sarah Everett @goddammitsarah
11K Followers 1K Following digital sorceress ⚡ does anyone know how to curse a real sword
Róisín Lanigan @rosielanners
21K Followers 1K Following contributing editor @the_fence_mag my first novel comes out spring 2025 with @figtreepenguin 📚rep @kat_aitken email me! [email protected]
moo @mopykav
27K Followers 555 Following
Emma @em1411x
203 Followers 12 Following 💙 $25 follow 💙 DM receipt of beem emmajayne14 or PayPal emmajayne141
Roady @roadsoda69420
2K Followers 295 Following Addicted to light beer and driving, zyns, and gambling. Not addicted to the left. Trubisky and Fields weren’t the problem
Lucilla Leigh @CandiedWhispers
3K Followers 4K Following Romance & Erotica Writer. Unveiling desire in tantalizing tales. Let's explore the erotic realm together. #SensualScribe #EroticEscapades
ourlittlesecretx @cumonmeliv
355 Followers 343 Following All natural besides the boobs 🤭💋 $25 to join: beem it & PayPal - livstor3r
strange girl @iswwwag
5K Followers 1K Following $i434 🩻 // 24 // $30 dm fee // MDNI // @iii777444333
Stephanie @goldensteph_
2K Followers 865 Following Opinions aren’t mine, but belong to my employer (and they’re total pricks). She/Her.
Diary of Samuel Pepys @DPepys31853
3K Followers 2K Following The detailed private diary that Pepys kept from 1660 until 1669.
SHITTER ASS @SHlTTERASS
2K Followers 2K Following RIP PlSSERDlCK 2022 FOUNDER OF A NATION 1,000,000,000 POSTERS
Katie @KayTeeeOh
7K Followers 3K Following A pathological people pleaser slash argumentative hypothetical dream girl | BLM she/her/hers | kayteee0h on the gram
Sylvian (#1 Skinamari.. @TheAlexSylvian
8K Followers 2K Following I post about bob dylan a lot and movies too much, forever and always the #1 Skinamarink Fan
Miranda Keeling @MirandaKeeling
27K Followers 558 Following Author. Actor. Observer of everyday life. Buy my book: https://t.co/NffTowbtAo
gail @yungmtngoat
11K Followers 744 Following
The Real Kim Shady @boobalander
2K Followers 656 Following yeah it’s me, ur favorite baddie. anyway, $4 a pound
Heartwalker @Herzwandler
814 Followers 811 Following 💜 The rare kind of person you long for is here with us. 💜 • https://t.co/Vk2wDOrrpa 🇺🇸 • https://t.co/MoUDKQ2sXJ 🇩🇪 • Recently returned to Xlizard: damn, nice lamp, mind if i bask ? me: whole reason i got it lizard: sick. i could do this all day me: whole reason i got u
it should be illegal for the media to give liz truss any airtime or column inches without issuing a disclaimer that she is an utter fucking moron
the daily mail administered brain worms to an entire generation
love it when you’re sitting at home minding your own business and then suddenly you hear a flock of honking geese flying overhead, just the most ridiculous little noise briefly injected into your day, always a pleasure
the awooga
what's the opposite of the ick called? when he does something and you're like holy fuck i will make this man marry me
this is so partridge. the spatula. the casual bigotry. the brag that has nothing to do with any of it
Lincoln local elections 2024 🗳️ Meet Esther Knight from the Party of Women — She is hoping to claim the Minster ward seat under the newly-established party
this woman needs to be studied
Turtles and tortoises can feel their shells. A mechanoreceptive innervation in the superficial layers of the shell is sensitive to touch and vibrations. So this one is just ticklish.
You can only dehumanize people so much before they come to see it is you that lacks any humanity. Don't expect kindness or even civility from those you've treated as subhuman.
The truly tortured poets, the real sickos, don't think stuff like "my bf reminds me of a tattooed golden retriever." They think stuff like "what if you were grieving and then there was a weird bird"
Historian here! [embarrassing misinformed bootlicking apologia for the repressive state apparatus]
With respect to my favorite canadian bookstore with whom I have a parasocial relationship: no, this is too fukcd up
moby dick poem ass marquee if that makes sense
doomed whaling voyage
question for men: what are your favourite things to do with other men?
Sometimes when I’m up for a while in the middle of the night I’ll airplay a movie to the living room tv and just stand there having a snack or a drink or something for ten minutes. Anyway, I just put on Sexy Beast for that purpose and watched THE ENTIRE THING standing up.
r/whatisthatmovie armchair_sexpert: The son of a big mafia family returns home from the war. He doesn't want to join the "family business." Later he has no choice. There are a few scenes with him and a godfather. His dad is the godfather IIRC. tim103974983: Is it a comedy?
me hearing even the mildest bit of gossip
how many trump isms do you use in daily life? for me: Many such cases Very very disrespectful
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