DΛVID @_davidlucas_

Not owing explanations to strangers on the internet since 2011. Proudly blocked by @3AWNeilMitchell. x.com/search?q=from%… Melbourne, Australia Joined October 2011

Tweets

156K
Followers

17K
Following

10K
Likes

187K

Mac Dickson @MacDicksonShow

a month ago

Walking through a festival this past weekend with my daughter and we see some guy drawing caricatures. She said, "He looks sketchy!" I could not have been more proud.

0 2 12 278 0

Nuclear Winter @4SLars

2 years ago

The way this cat is chewing on my severed ear makes me feel seen.

1 34 52 4K 2

Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire

4 months ago

Frankly, I’m just glad I’m not the only one who crashed out this week.

2 19 76 9K 1

Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO

5 months ago

I lost my notebook with all my most important work. If you find it, please finish coloring Ariel's hair.

8 114 278 10K 3

The Shovel @TheShovel

5 months ago

Black Smoke Rises From Coal-Fired Power Station in Traditional Sign That Liberal Party Has Chosen New Leader theshovel.com.au/2025/05/13/bla…

52 726 3K 42K 37

CHRIS 👍 @GoBurgo

5 months ago

My memory foam mattress drinks to forget

0 1 2 151 0

FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud

6 months ago

CHIEF PALEONTOLOGIST: So I need a name for this giant prehistoric shark GARY: How about Megalodon CHIEF: That's a badass name ME: *crumpling my note that says 'Sea-Rex'* Fuck you Gary

2 60 143 5K 5

FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud

5 months ago

If they elect an American Pope they can call him Uncle Psalm

8 55 123 5K 5

Jeremy London @SirJeremyLondon

6 months ago

If going to space for 3 minutes makes you an astronaut then I’m a gynecologist…

5K 28K 372K 11.4M 10K

FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud

6 months ago

Hey America, when we asked you how stupid you could get, it wasn't a challenge.

5 29 107 3K 4

FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud

6 months ago

On St Patrick's Day when they dye the river green, I call it Shrekago. I'm banned from Illinois for life.

6 39 158 6K 3

The Shovel @TheShovel

7 months ago

Average IQs in Ukraine Soar After US Withdraws Its Intelligence theshovel.com.au/2025/03/06/ave…

6 117 488 9K 4

“I disrespected the local customs. I brazenly walked through a door instead of climbing in over a wall. "I then rudely sat down on a chair when clearly I should have thrown it through a window. I forgot who I was talking to”. Read the full story --> tinyurl.com/47exfwph

27 341 1K 28K 30

Download Image

Mike Carlton @MikeCarlton01

11 months ago

America…it’s like watching the Fall of Rome. There is no other democracy, from Norway to New Zealand, which would elect as its leader a rapist, felon, liar, ignoramus, misogynist, vindictive bully and charlatan.

4K 9K 55K 1.5M 1K

The Shovel @TheShovel

a year ago

Cats the Musical Finally Ends After Immigrants Eat Entire Cast, Trump Claims theshovel.com.au/2024/09/12/cat…

25 234 939 20K 9

FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud

a year ago

WIFE: You're very quiet. What are you thinking? ME: Prince William should rent out some rooms in Kensington Palace to tourists. Call it Heirbnb. HER: Sometimes it's ok to say 'nothing'