bubble girl @JessObsess
I could have been something great. Winner of the “Best Avi” 10 years in a row. My tweet trophies are covered in dust. twitter.com/search?q=from%… United States Joined January 2013-
Tweets14K
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Followers18K
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Following1K
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Likes107K
bubble girl retweeted
Guys please be careful around girls, they will steal your French fries 🍟
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When you are smart, that doesn’t mean you’re not a dumb bitch.
I don’t know who needs to hear this but - Okay it’s me. I don’t need a new cup.
There’s a new crossing guard at the corner of my street. I am not making eye contact, because then I am going to have to wave at him every morning. I’m not starting that!
bubble girl retweeted
Fuck FaceTime , I rode my Diamondback BMX bike 15 miles in the cold winter just to see a girl.
I subscribe to the belief that the last 3 years haven’t “really” happened.
Only a few days until everyone begins their healing journeys.
How about a hallmark movie where the main character’s back and hips are killing her because she’s sitting on the floor for too long wrapping Christmas gifts!
There’s no law that says I can’t park at an electric car space even though I don’t have an electric car.
bubble girl retweeted
I get a little sad around the holidays but also all year round.
Is it normal that I'm sitting at a bar with a cocktail ordering Cascade dishwasher tabs and other stuff from Amazon?
bubble girl retweeted
Who is the idiot that called it "possession of marijuana" and not "joint custody"?"
bubble girl retweeted
Which one are you? 1. You have a healthy relationship to social media 2. You have seen every video on the entire internet
Stores in Staten Island are like, that’s $10 cash or $38 if you use your credit card.
bubble girl retweeted
If I ever told you that you were amazing, calm down. I have very low standards.
I care about everything and nothing all at the same time.
Trey @treydayway
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77K Followers 6K Following *awkward silence* Mom to four, wife to one. Like I am to most things, I came here late too.
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire
75K Followers 2K Following Smooth like nitroglycerin. Sidekick to @gingerhotdish
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
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Tater's Trash Talk �.. @TrueTorontoGirl
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Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
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Ivsy @Ivsy01
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sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
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Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct
Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
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𝕕𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕖�.. @themidnightland
2K Followers 1K Following ✨a touch of magic, a touch of madness, a touch of melancholy ✨ | nostalgic | elder emo | spooky | thicc | taken | probably asleep | NalwaysSFW🔞
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S͓̽T͓̽A͓̽R͓̽ .. @Shining_Enigma
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https://t.co/Gjq9OYnFLr](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/878582094158471168/oRVgVE7c.jpg)
(A)$ke₩ @Askew_74
5K Followers 3K Following [uh-skyoo] out of proper alignment; not level; uneven; irregular; oblique; awry. https://t.co/Gjq9OYnFLr
M͜͡&͜͡M͜͡ @TheSoulShadow
23K Followers 16K Following 🇺🇸🇮🇹🇱🇧/G\. 45. Dad. 🇺🇸Veteran. Capricorn. ISTJ. MDD. PTSD .Espresso, Cigars, and Scotch #YNWA #GoGators "Words woven into art, poetry writer's heart"-MM
Melissa @JustAMomNamedMM
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2K Followers 2K Following tweets are not intended to be humorous. any resemblance to real persons, dead or alive, or other real-life entities, past or present, is purely a coinkydink.
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Missouri CNA @mcsa7f
35K Followers 33K Following Married. Kitty & puppy mom. Home health worker. Kidney transplant recipient. Dealing with Anxiety/depression. Family is everything. Love camping,concerts, art.
We all have that one friend whose favorite foods are penis shaped.
Dear people who fall asleep right away, what do you do with your soul.
Apparently only old people follow me on Twitter so congratulations everybody.
Guys please be careful around girls, they will steal your French fries 🍟
Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying it’s just Thursday.
Welcome to Twitter: it’s like high school except everyone has gray hair.
I heard someone say Twitter is nothing but losers and old people so congratulations everybody.
Please don't write happily married in your social media bio. Be realistic. "I have a spouse and they like me well enough."
wait, its the year of the dragon, so are you still drawing a rabbit on all your checks?
What I loved about Twitter was the nonsensical fun banter. We need less political rhetoric, bring that fun back. You can argue about politics at Walmart anytime you want like a normal person
The 90’s weren’t perfect but they were way better than all this crap.
Women will sext every grandpa on the internet before they'll go to therapy.
Stop asking women you barely know sexual questions. It's invasive and rude. Get to know her. Be original. What's her favorite architectural style? Does she sing in the shower? How does she feel about baked beans?
All of my Twitter crushes are cheeseburgers.
When you were a kid what did you do when somebody hurt your feelings? Me: *laughs in Gen X*
@JessObsess rt? then you don't feel like it one day and have to drive alll the way around just to avoid him...
Them: how old are you Me: well let’s see, I was born in 1976 so that would make me *counts on fingers* 150 years old.
Spent most of the day making sure my couch doesn’t get lonely. Nailed it.
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