Mmmkay? @missekay
Silently plotting to steal your favorite hoodie. My super power is hiding in plain sight. twitter.com/search?q=from:… Colorado, USA Joined March 2009-
Tweets50K
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Followers30K
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Following15K
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Likes78K
Mmmkay? retweeted
Sorry I’m late my dog laid his head on me.
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Mmmkay? retweeted
"This is not working for me" [gestures at my life]
Mmmkay? retweeted
Who knew the road to ruin would be such fun.
Mmmkay? retweeted
*Responding to all requests today with “Sure, I’ll do it but first you must correctly answer 3 riddles”*
Mmmkay? retweeted
I would do much better with social interactions if I understood them at all.
Mmmkay? retweeted
The black jelly bean is the best bean. Made of corn syrup, Jaegermeister, eyeshadow, and Cure songs. Flavor stays in your mouth until Jesus comes back. Supreme.
Mmmkay? retweeted
I’m actually really fun and outgoing when I’ve had nine hours of sleep, four meals, two snacks, tea, and am not required to wear real pants or have more than five minutes of social interaction.
Mmmkay? retweeted
One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.
Mmmkay? retweeted
Ibuprofen my old friend, It’s time to take you once again. 🎶
Mmmkay? retweeted
Maybe we should put dogs in charge for a while just to see how it goes.
Mmmkay? retweeted
Whoever designed my car where everything I drop fits perfectly down that gap between my seat and console expect for my hand is a fucking asshole.
Mmmkay? retweeted
Getting older is weird. It feels like my priorities are constantly changing. For example, today I bought super sharp scissors, and it was a pretty good day.
Mmmkay? retweeted
My five year plan is to still be calling it Twitter. Fight me.
Mmmkay? retweeted
Dog: MY BOWL IS EMPTY Me: You *just* ate Dog: I SEE NO EVIDENCE OF THAT
Mmmkay? retweeted
My dog, trying to find a place to poop in inclement weather:
Mmmkay? retweeted
90% of dog ownership is getting their toys out from under the couch.
Mmmkay? retweeted
Can’t decide if I should do laundry or fake my own death.
Mmmkay? retweeted
Welcome to your 40s: Live, Laugh, Lay down for a minute.
Mmmkay? retweeted
‘Hurriquake’ is a new one for us, too.
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Sorry I’m late my dog laid his head on me.
This is Bear. He's devastated that, despite his best efforts, he doesn't fit on this chair. Please respect his privacy during this trying time. 13/10
"This is not working for me" [gestures at my life]
Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.
This is Hari. He never has to ask what time a party is. Because they all start when he walks in. 13/10 (IG: hari_1121)
Here are the Top 5 Dogs of the week!
Sooo close. That is a dog
This is actually a good representation of what feminism is doing to men. Making them docile and weak.
I never thought getting up from the couch to go to bed would be part of my heroic journey, but here we are.
*Responding to all requests today with “Sure, I’ll do it but first you must correctly answer 3 riddles”*
I would do much better with social interactions if I understood them at all.
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I’m actually really fun and outgoing when I’ve had nine hours of sleep, four meals, two snacks, tea, and am not required to wear real pants or have more than five minutes of social interaction.
One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.
This dog wanted a snack. And in the process learned just how oppressive the glass ceiling everyone always talks about is. 12/10
The dog didn’t notice first that mom is in the room......that look! 😂 x.com/mashedavocado_…
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A bath routine worth watching
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