kelsey @neylonstein

Left my corkscrew at my friend’s probably at the beginning of summer and have bought several bottles of wine since then. It’s incredible how well I have gotten at opening bottles with a knife, but even more incredible that I haven’t bought a new corkscrew yet lol

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kelsey @neylonstein

5 years ago

It’s always very strange talking to a nurse about COVID and discovering that they are openly anti-VAX😳

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kelsey @neylonstein

5 years ago

“All good pizza gives you diarrhea. That’s how you know it’s good.”

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kelsey @neylonstein

5 years ago

@KalieKittyKat Probably going to write a self-help book soon about my successes 😂

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kelsey @neylonstein

5 years ago

I know it’s going to be a good day when I’ve had my breakfast, cup of coffee, and morning shit all before my 6th alarm.

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gabe bergado @gabebergado

5 years ago

mixed kids and their white dads

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Leo @MODELIONS

5 years ago

wait cuz in 2 months 2019 will be 7 years ago......

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kelsey @neylonstein

5 years ago

I told the kids at work that I’m the Avatar, and one of them wholeheartedly said “okay I can see that”🥺💧🪨🔥💨

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kelsey @neylonstein

5 years ago

I just folded tf out of my fitted sheet. LIVE FROM MY BEDROOM, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!

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kelsey @neylonstein

5 years ago

@KMarikoo @CrazyEightsLV Who recorded me?!

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kelsey @neylonstein

5 years ago

Seeing face masks on but noses fully exposed is like seeing a buttcrack on somebody wearing perfectly good bottoms. Can’t you feel the breeze? Pull em up!