Owen @owrangle

Welcome to my Twitter it’s terrible jokes with a minimum of seven typos and punctuation errors Auckland, New Zealand Joined November 2010

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Owen @owrangle

3 years ago

He said "Well son! That! That there was Princess Diana!" Then he bowed his head a little and said "We lost a good one there." Gotta be honest the whole interaction was a powerful argument for just ignoring the world and staring at your anxiety rectangle.

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Owen @owrangle

3 years ago

I said "Okay hit me with it" He said "Okay who said this: "Nothing gives me more happiness than to try to aid the most vulnerable of this society. Whoever is in distress who calls me, I will come running." I said I had no idea.

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Owen @owrangle

3 years ago

I was happily staring at my phone in the cafe this morning and a fella came up to me and said "Ah you're looking at your phone! You know it's bad for you." I said "Yeah I know" and put it down. He said "I have a trivia question, I read this in one of those magazines over there."

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Owen @owrangle

3 years ago

Property developer consultant who predicted a Labor loss at 2022 #springst election earnestly concludes that declining Yes vote is because everyone has suddenly realised that they’re mortgage stressed and - in a real turn up for the books - he knew it all along!

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Owen @owrangle

3 years ago

You’re into history? Oh yeah? Well I’ll bet you can’t tell me one thing that’s happened.

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Owen @owrangle

3 years ago

Reasonably lofty standard you’ve set, but okay. How are the left-wing bonafides of the clients listed here? Will we go over them individually? lobbyists.vic.gov.au/search-the-reg…

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Owen @owrangle

3 years ago

My housemate asked me when to use “near” and when to use “close” and I have honestly never thought about this in my life

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Owen @owrangle

3 years ago

Anyway I think it’s wild that people just go ahead and move to other countries and do this all the time and we often don’t feel the need to remark upon it

Owen @owrangle

3 years ago

How do people learn languages ever? I think I’m making progress then I learn that I’ve been super confidently using the complete wrong words for stuff

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Owen @owrangle

3 years ago

Saints losing a game badly. It’s like a warm blanket. Everything back to normal again. 😌

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Owen @owrangle

3 years ago

@Nathcore Yeah I think I got the immersion. 6 Chileans going full weón in the living room. I was just tapping out for long periods because you’re trying so hard to communicate and you stuff SO MUCH UP and it is embarrassing

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Owen @owrangle

3 years ago

How do people learn languages ever? I think I’m making progress then I learn that I’ve been super confidently using the complete wrong words for stuff

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Owen @owrangle

3 years ago

@Nathcore Well executed chilean joke here

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Owen @owrangle

3 years ago

I’ve been living with three Chileans for 4 weeks now and let me tell you if you’re looking for a guy who can say “I don’t understand” in Spanish I’m your guy

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Owen @owrangle

4 years ago

Did you guys hear about the 6’6” 140kg nightclub bouncer with a shaved head, tattoos down each arm, a black belt in 4 martial arts, a steely glare, and a day job in television post-production? Apparently he was super imposing.

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Owen @owrangle

4 years ago

So far of anywhere I’ve been I’ve gotta say Auckland has the worst weather. Consistently no good for anything much at all.

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Owen @owrangle

4 years ago

@dylanwightlabor I’ve done some just plain bone headed things that would have had me T-boned by a VS Commodore out of pure spite in Werribee and I’m still here

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Owen @owrangle

4 years ago

I’ve been driving around Auckland for a couple of weeks now, and I gotta say my experience of the local drivers has been pretty good? You don’t hear good feedback about drivers very often but it’s been mostly pretty fine?

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Owen @owrangle

4 years ago

Bathroom exhaust fans? Now there’s an extractive industry I can get around!

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Owen @owrangle

4 years ago

Looks like the Saints are reaching the back end of the flattery section of this particular flattery-deception cycle

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Owen @owrangle

4 years ago

Hey I’ve got one. It’s about a man who - seeking redemption for his imprisonment for 19 years for stealing a loaf of bread for his sister’s starving child - opens an initially revolutionary but sadly Ill-fated nation-wide gymnasium franchise. Working title Les Mills-érables.