securetoexplore @securetoexplore

trying to become secure enough to explore attachment · meditation · imagination · human flourishing IPF facilitator-in-training through mettagroup · EN/DE securetoexplore.com Joined August 2026

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

11 hours ago

@SISUNNY001 Yes! But stability doesn’t necessarily mean intimacy. Two avoidant partners may find an equilibrium in distance; an anxious–avoidant pair in pursuit and withdrawal. Both can last for years. The deeper question is whether there’s room for vulnerability within that stability.

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

2 days ago

For example, instead of "your ideal parents give you a hug," it might be "notice that your ideal parents welcome any physical affection you want to initiate." Ideally, the prompt sets the boundaries but they get to discover their own solution.

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

2 days ago

My IPF work is moving into a new phase: getting better at understanding the attachment representation beneath the imaginal scene, then finding a prompt that gives the person enough structure to explore their own solution.

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

3 days ago

Also felt a lot of heartbreak for anyone with that wound, since it is so devastating. You come into the world as a bundle of joy, expecting to join the rest of us. When that bundle of joy is not welcome, it's deeply confusing and unsettling.

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

3 days ago

This felt like a primordial welcome: the world excited to get know me even before I was born, wondering who I might be. It was like the simulation itself wanted me to come into existence just to see what I was like.

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

3 days ago

Personal IPF report: primordial anticipation for your being. In a recent practice, I imagined my mother telling me how excited she'd been to finally meet me and get to be my mother. The whole community was curious about me, excited to discover who I was.

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

3 days ago

@PoemsWeBurned @JakeOrthwein @nosilverv @nickcammarata @jhana_bro Also careful to build self-agency without basic delight in being, which leads to need to be successful. Delight in being without agency leads to "chill guy that doesn't do anything"

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

3 days ago

@PoemsWeBurned @JakeOrthwein @nosilverv @nickcammarata @jhana_bro Look into the "self agency" section in Dan's book as well at "the role of the father" section.

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

6 days ago

@bantm__ I am closing the 6 session trial for now, but I am happy to meet and try out the practice with you if you can find a time on the calendar 🙂

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

a month ago

I’m training in Ideal Parent Figure (IPF) facilitation with Mettagroup and am looking for people who’d like to try the practice with me. I’m offering a free series of six 1:1 sessions. After that, you can continue on a donation basis. Book a free call: cal.com/securetoexplor…

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

2 weeks ago

@callmesaucey My availability is getting more limited but I am always happy to do one session if you find a time in my calendar

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

2 weeks ago

@IAmBenJames so the real issue was not guilt about not doing enough but rejection and feeling unwanted.

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

2 weeks ago

Practicing the Grief Protocol has been surprisingly fun. The art is finding the unconscious “hook” that makes a problem feel unresolvable, then helping the person see it clearly enough that the resolution unfolds on its own.

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

2 weeks ago

@IAmBenJames One example, a brother's suicide: Conscious story: "I didn't do enough to help him; I should have prevented his death" Unconscious hook: "He didn't want what I had to offer. He didn't see my help as helpful, so he rejected it"

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

2 weeks ago

I’m getting better at spotting the pattern. Helping someone else see it fully will take more practice. Overall, it seems that once the past feels resolved, turning toward the present and future takes much less effort. Learning how to be a helpful person is interesting :)

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

2 weeks ago

@nosilverv yes, secure attachment allows for the exploration system to come online and genuine authentic exploration generates the felt sense of meaning :)

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

2 weeks ago

These sit outside IPF: • Grief/Unresolved Conflict: play out unfinished emotional business with someone. • Adult Secure Intimacy: imagine your ideal adult relationship to clarify what you want. • Social Anxiety: work through fears of being judged negatively.

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

2 weeks ago

I’m building skills in three protocols for my IPF practice: • Grief/Unresolved Conflict • Adult Secure Intimacy (requires secure attachment) • Social Anxiety Help me practice in a free, one-off session! Book a time on my calendar: securetoexploreorg.cal.com/hello/ideal-pa…

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

2 weeks ago

@corbindreams

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

2 weeks ago

@corbindreams It's much easier to meditate once the attachment system is settled and you can use the exploration system to meditate :)

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securetoexplore @securetoexplore

3 weeks ago

This IPF thing is such a beautiful way to give back what I've learned from others. I'm still finding the balance between skill and intuition. Another big part seems to be learning to get my heart broken and finding my way back to my heart over and over again.