mctweeter @tortette
homosapien with popular name for a labrador // unpopular with labradors londinium Joined September 2012-
Tweets4K
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Followers150
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Following769
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Likes5K
mctweeter retweeted
Words fail ... govt's #universalcredit 'Work you could do' service suggests 'words to use in your online search' might include 'Striptease Artist' rightsnet.org.uk/forums/viewthr…
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mctweeter retweeted
ME: I didn’t know you could vogue! MY WIFE: *getting attacked by a wasp
mctweeter retweeted
Every English school is legally required to have children take part in daily acts of Christian worship. This anachronistic practice either indoctrinates, alienates, or segregates children, and this is not the effect any school assembly should have. theguardian.com/education/2019…
mctweeter retweeted
Brittany spears
ur phone is upside down
First call today with Japan's Minister for Economy, Trade and Industry @SekoHiroshige. The future of the 🇬🇧-🇯🇵 partnership is bright and we will move quickly to negotiate a UK- Japan FTA. #ReadyToTrade
mctweeter retweeted
on her deathbed my granny did not say: i wish i'd spent more time criticising the layer of skin between my chest and my armpit that folds when i put my arms down
mctweeter retweeted
Corbynistas who waste time shouting ‘tuition fees’ at Lib Dems don’t realise that generations of voters will be shouting ‘Brexit’ at them.
mctweeter retweeted
Late August, given heavy rain and sun For a full week, the blackberries would ripen. At first just one, a glossy purple clot. . . Like thickened wine: summer’s blood was in it Leaving stains upon the tongue and lust for Picking.
Warning: disturbing content
My boyfriend has made the worst video in the world
mctweeter retweeted
MODERN DOCTORS: - SPEND YEARS IN TRAINING - WEAR BORING WHITE COATS - VULNERABLE TO MIASMA - USE GLOVES TO TOUCH PATIENTS PLAGUE DOCTORS: - APPOINTED BY THE KING AFTER BEING A FRUIT SALESMAN - WEAR COOL BLACK ROBES - FILL THEIR MASK WITH HERBS - POKE PATIENTS WITH A STICK
@paulnotpaulie Where is this? It looks incredible
mctweeter retweeted
boy I thought this was a Doberman with a pedicure
mctweeter retweeted
This is what happens when the American capitalist class goes unchecked. nymag.com/intelligencer/…
mctweeter retweeted
No one: The guy in Feel Good Inc.:
mctweeter retweeted
sex on your wedding night: • awkward • disappointing un-tying the ribbon around your neck, causing your head to fall to the floor: • unexpected • Goth as hell • honeymoon prank for the ages
mctweeter retweeted
Someones gotta pay the rent
@ChrisBenson95 @jeremycorbyn @brexitparty_uk Agreed, the moment the loans were sold off to a company that increases the interest year on year to make a quick buck was the moment the loan system became unsustainable
mctweeter retweeted
I’ve tried my best but that Zara dress is still one of the worst things I’ve seen. I am happy for the many women enjoying it - be free! - and its sisterly joy of screw you I am comfy and confident. But it’s exactly the thing which would make me look like a ghost in her nightgown.
mctweeter retweeted
Queer Eye but it’s five librarians explaining to a Silicon Valley billionaire how the dismantling of the humanities in favor of STEM is killing democracy.
Valentine Courmont @valentinecourm2
380 Followers 4K Following “De quelque superbe distinction que se flattent les hommes, ils ont tous une même origine, et cette origine est petite.” #Bossuet
Rebecca Marett @RebMarett
61 Followers 176 Following 📍SW London 💼 NHS Project Manager 👩🏻🎓BSc Psychology, Cardiff 2014-18 🏕️ DofE Youth worker 🗨️Views my own.
GRL Legal @GRLLegal
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law dog, esq. @ggooooddddoogg
38K Followers 12K Following good boy living in woods --- tweets reflect my own barks, woofs, and bow wows. cashapp me $600
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Free Nazanin @FreeNazanin
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Marina Hyde @MarinaHyde
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Cold War Steve @coldwarsteve
376K Followers 24K Following Enquiries: [email protected] mailing list: https://t.co/RLUzvyVcee Support me: https://t.co/U09r4vQtnf Shop at website below xxx
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Evie the Cat @HMCabinetCat
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James Felton @JimMFelton
275K Followers 3K Following Bestselling author 52 Times Britain Was A Bellend: https://t.co/IOylVjHwzA Sunburn, a funny book about how shit The Sun is: https://t.co/Zewi6HPEDE
Gladstone (retired) a... @TreasuryMog
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