Weekday Jokes @weekdayjokes
We do weekends too. Not even joking. Joined August 2021-
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How did the pirate get his ship for so cheap? It was on sail #jokes #TuesdayThoughts
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Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb #jokes #TuesdayThoughts
What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar #jokes #TuesdayThoughts
What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi #jokes #TuesdayThoughts
Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do #jokes #TuesdayThoughts
What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and then crosses back again? A dirty double-crosser #jokes #TuesdayThoughts
I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make it on Wednesdays” #jokes #TuesdayThoughts
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once #jokes #TuesdayThoughts
I don’t mind coming to work, it’s the 8-hour wait to go home I can’t stand #jokes #TuesdayThoughts
A work week is so rough that after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF #jokes #TuesdayThoughts
How do construction workers party? They raise the roof #jokes #TuesdayThoughts
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade" #jokes #TuesdayThoughts
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad #jokes #MondayMotivation
If every day is a gift, I’d like a receipt for Monday. I want to exchange it for another Friday #jokes #MondayMotivation
People who like trance music are very persistent. They don’t techno for an answer #jokes #MondayMotivation
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally #jokes #MondayMotivation
I get plenty of exercise – jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines #jokes #MondayMotivation
When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, “A very good doctor” #jokes #MondayMotivation
My boss says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that #jokes #MondayMotivation
Parallel lines have so much in common but it’s a shame they’ll never meet #jokes #MondayMotivation
ayu @jiims
357K Followers 10K Following Collab/partnerships - DM or TG https://t.co/p6EOsKVoq5 | @Stead_defi | #ayuminati | #Ayuproofs | $EGG | $MANE | $WTT | #Anyinu | https://t.co/iNTd5WuPmQ | Jopo
What are you going to.. @1999_jab
3K Followers 4K Following Just here for the lols/snark. If I lol I follow. Dad to 2 teens. Cat wrangler, gas-station hot dog connoisseur. A little lead guitar. What a time to be alive.😬
Michael J LeCompte @MikeLeCompte
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Dee Rhodes @DeemundoRhodes
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stephen brown @sbrownstortford
350 Followers 233 Following
𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐏.. @Matt_Pinner
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Mommabard#BLM#TransRi.. @M0mmabard
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jesse reeves @enemal666
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Dennis M. Coleman @Dmcoleman4Tiger
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Boyd Barnett @NISXAN
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DEZ-Wyo @WYO_Fan1973
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Baxonætr @BaxonIsKool
214 Followers 645 Following 15(16 in April 26)/#1 marker fan/shit art(but better than AI) /identify as a toaster/certified roblox(or crk) gamer/definitely not running @SigmaPh0bia /🇮🇩
Phil Greasley @GreasleyPhil
207 Followers 157 Following
Leslea61 @leslea61
5K Followers 6K Following No Lists. Mom.Wife.Grandma. Former O/411 Opr. Funny in my own mind. Storyteller. No DM's. Dementia caregiver. https://t.co/9uh0s6d3QL
Andreas Schlegel 🇺.. @andischl
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mac_mccaskill @mac_mccaskill
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Turneep 💙🇪🇺 .. @Turneeps5
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Svetlana🇸🇰🤘 @HeavyMetalSvet
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🎃 JerseyReaper �.. @JerseyReaper2k
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RetroKeith @RetroKeith
846 Followers 1K Following Host of the Retro Radio Podcast. Discover Family Friendly Entertainment with classic Old Time Radio, and more.
𝔸𝕟𝕥𝕚-𝔸.. @annie_mel_farm
5K Followers 6K Following NO to Tories, NO to✝️& 👑. Likes a whinge & playing #games. Prone to tantrums & screaming fits.Don't dare to try to sell me stuff 🤪 DMs shared to everyone else
gutenmorgen @morgan_blundell
339 Followers 2K Following “If you’re depressed and called Morgan, spend the first half of the day in Germany for some positive affirmation.” -Milton Jones
DAMO-XXXIV 👊🏼�.. @TheLastDamo
3K Followers 5K Following ☣️ SAVAGE MODE: Active ⚠️ #Cancarian♋️ #JoieDeVivre🌍 #DAMOVILL34👾 #NoDMs🚫 #Married💍
prenshaw @prenshaw
175 Followers 426 Following
TomTaylor @TomTaylorCHS
934 Followers 1K Following
Sam Korean-American @seminary2018
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Andrew Ledgard @atledgard37
121 Followers 417 Following You should of stuck with your monkey...! just saying
Sean @BendingFrames
4K Followers 4K Following “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.”
Frank Malfitano @FrankMalfitano
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ELI @ItsReally_Eli
1K Followers 5K Following You have power over your own mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength. - Marcus Aurelius
The Scene Vault Podca.. @TheSceneVault
12K Followers 8K Following We’re all about NASCAR history, all the time. CONTACT: [email protected]
Theresa Bruebaker @TBruebaker
121 Followers 295 Following
Martin @hammersaint
1K Followers 2K Following Dragons Red V Member,follow West Ham,Sydney FC,Socceroos,Sydney Swans. Love cricket, tennis, history and trivia. Retired teacher with a great family.
Greg @jeemoney1117
988 Followers 3K Following Husband...Dad of 4….Bleed Scarlet & Gray...Go Tribe...Go Lions
Stokie Lee, Author, V.. @lee_stokie
3K Followers 3K Following Adult Mainstream Author. Nationally recognized PLWD. ND. Managed by 3.0 Talent Mnmt Agency. #amquerying. Native South Carolinian. He/Him
Through Tornados 🇨.. @ThroughTornados
973 Followers 2K Following
Dave Pracz @DavePracz
154 Followers 383 Following Weather enthusiast. Trained spotter. Classic rock. Avid Chicago sports fan. 35 years of marital bondage. 🐻⬇️
Jimmer (⧖) @JamesDurrant68
649 Followers 1K Following Southampton FC, Dad, Christian, Leftie. Stop climate change. Proud member of the @NEUnion
My Info @sanddevil76
397 Followers 753 Following
Patrick S @Patrickichi
660 Followers 643 Following Stealer of shoes and such, likes free real estate. Follow me, I follow back, no bots though.
Christian Glodde @thetruetyaan
82 Followers 223 Following
Anthony H @anthonyhollings
103 Followers 308 Following
Swoozy🟧🏳️�.. @swoozyqyah
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GSBto @gsbinvestorto
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⚡Jason Jasonson⚡ @NuclearBarff
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Glover75 @Glover756
451 Followers 454 Following Hi Ya'll, I'm Glover75 I'm an average art Enjoyer and loves to play games I love Wolves, Pandas, Bunnies and Cats Banner by @MrRaisin_ Pfp by @Lussac_Strange
Stovepipe Hat @TheStovepipeHat
105 Followers 1K Following An inanimate object on your great-grandfather’s head.
JohnGBarrow @JohnGBarrow1
305 Followers 796 Following Used to work for the DA, Gauteng South Region. Now retired
The Life of Jas @JaswantofBrum
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Sam @SammyChong1985
272 Followers 516 Following
Eli Courtwright @EliCourtwright
297 Followers 204 Following Sunday School teacher, software engineer, tabletop roleplaying game enthusiast, animal lover.
Dee Rhodes @DeemundoRhodes
302 Followers 1K Following
Mark 🏴.. @Mrj53
43 Followers 106 Following
HanxHeez @HanxHeez
356 Followers 1K Following ✱ Sunshine on Stephania(✝︎) ✱ How is it going? Yes fine, and you? Yep good. Beautiful. ✱ Road for it ✱ exFreerider
EJP @Froakie56
65 Followers 435 Following
•||crimson||• @1SunnylilDragon
56 Followers 417 Following she/they || 17 || lesbian || isfp || music addict || people scare me || hi 👋
Doug @techdoug83
502 Followers 2K Following Ticket P1 via internet. Flying the Rangers & Stars flags proudly! Love photography! Long live film! U.S. Air Force veteran. #WreckEm
Joseph Pijanowski @MachinistImprov
366 Followers 288 Following Nothing I say or tweet can or should be used as investment advice. Do your own research and invest at your own peril. I spent 7 yrs involved in Monetary Reform.
Nigel Smart @SmartCryptology
6K Followers 441 Following Interested in cryptography and computing on encrypted data in particular Citizen of Nowhere @[email protected] @smartcryptology.bsky.social
Gaby González @GabytheDino
80 Followers 135 Following
Dennis Schröder @dennis_s1401
50 Followers 217 Following
jesse reeves @enemal666
237 Followers 349 Following
Janne Keskinarkaus @JKeskinarkaus
379 Followers 973 Following Back in Lapland, Finland after 23 years abroad. Nature, fishing, hunting, technology are close to my heart. CEO at Napapiirin Kuljetus Oy, Rovaniemi. MSc.
Lifeshardandthenyoudi.. @neil_woodlands
10 Followers 23 Following One day I really must try to perform a quirkafleeg (only relevant to Jet Set Willy Fans). Until then I will drink lots of real ale and listen to loud rock music
Joanne Walters @jvwalters
575 Followers 1K Following
Mommabard#BLM#TransRi.. @M0mmabard
6K Followers 6K Following #Books #Horror #Movies #Gaming #ADHD#ActuallyAutistic #Disability #LGBTQIA+ #ClimateChange,🌊 #Resist. F* tfg and his cult. NBi/Poly/Pan: She/Her/They/Them
stephen brown @sbrownstortford
350 Followers 233 Following
Kris Elaine Nguyen @KMNevils
641 Followers 2K Following
Ian McLean @imclean1971
63 Followers 119 Following
S Knight @BabylonRook
474 Followers 962 Following
Michael J LeCompte @MikeLeCompte
99 Followers 308 Following
Evelyn Tate @Eve_Tate
444 Followers 1K Following
Ken DeYoe @ken_deyoe
178 Followers 93 Following Husband to Lori, father to Wayde and Alexandra. Dogs are happiness. All political parties SUCK! If you’re selling porn, I’m not buying so move on.
Larry Hyatt @hyhattlarry
4K Followers 5K Following Larry Hyatt in the Morning- 96.7 KCIL in Houma, La. Television, theatre, opera, playwright, https://t.co/ch9A7C4STI.
Baxonætr @BaxonIsKool
214 Followers 645 Following 15(16 in April 26)/#1 marker fan/shit art(but better than AI) /identify as a toaster/certified roblox(or crk) gamer/definitely not running @SigmaPh0bia /🇮🇩
Phil Greasley @GreasleyPhil
207 Followers 157 Following
Ed Ruffin @Ruffin_Shot
1K Followers 1K Following Former hotelier, snark, midlife cat guy. If it appears I'm making a serious argument I'm probably just mocking you.
Boyd Barnett @NISXAN
642 Followers 2K Following Graduate of Mississippi State, an ATO, Star Wars nut, proud Mississippian, occasional drummer, husband and dad.
Dan 😎🍕🍔🐈�.. @DanielAshley13
3K Followers 3K Following 48. Brother, Uncle, ISFJ. Crossword puzzle doer, eater of Pop-Tarts, friend to cats. Blocks all locked accounts and strangers who send DMs
@fulhamal @weekdayjokes Recurring joke.
@JohnDoritosKane @weekdayjokes I think you mean snaphu 😁
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