Alien Mummy @AlienMummy
Joined July 2008-
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Following41
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Wait. Oscars gave best actor award to mime? Next year: best radio series award.
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Throwing cigarette out car window like pooping on bathroom floor. #stupidhumans
No. Cool J 'Bad', like 'Round Way Girl'. Lohan look bad, have face like 100-year girl. @mojitochica #LLCoolJ? You wrong for that!
Catching up on things miss while lock up. Why LL look like Betty White older sister?
Guess Ferrari too broken 20 year later, so Ferris have drive CRV. Cameron probably drown self again.
How come PETA no attack Donald Trump for wearing animal on head?
Change mind. Madonna never break hip since she barely move. Where I'm from, plant move better. #trainwreck
VW commercial funny. But Vader never go Tatooine. Don't think suit have air conditioning.
#SheProbablyAHoodrat if she squeak, eat cheese and wear hat with no eye hole.
Look like AlienMummy miss lot while crazy doctors run tests almost three year. Thought Madonna in old folk home. Hope she no break hip.
Even AlienMummy know #BudLightPlatinum like shining poop to make gold. Hand just get dirty.
Missed so much in two and a half year. Tip from fugitive AlienMummy: Alien not only one use anal probe. #ouch
Alien_Mummy just escape secret government bunker. Guards watching something call #SuperBowl. Why Giants no look super tall?
Japan celebrating 45th anniversary of first bullet train. Dozens have average speed of 165 mph. Where I'm from, horses faster than that.
If I strangle co-worker with bandages, will CSI figure out? If only I had ship. I would send her to dead planet.
Was going to celebrate Earth Day, but Mars day was yesterday and am still hungover from many, many Romulan ales.
Considering new career: Alien Mummy Pirate.
I will play winner: http://tinyurl.com/dbgk86
Behind on taxes. Is embalming fluid a medical or business expense?
Spoke to old friend from Pluto. Everyone still upset about not being planet. Something about super death ray and Eris. Great Kuiper's Belt!
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