super cali fragilest 🖤💋 @AmbrosiaVoyeur
You don't know what I'm capable of. https://t.co/s7gKNnxrAJ Occupied Chumash Lands Joined October 2007-
Tweets22K
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Following826
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Likes25K
If you were an 80s detective what would be your whip and gat?
If you were an 80s detective what would be your whip and gat?
Trying to remember a woman: -attended the Oscars with her famous Wife Guy husband -isn’t famous -is very beautiful -is very flat chested and wore a bib-style dress I loved on her. I think it was black or part black. I think she’s a brunette. Under 45.
Funny, I don’t remember this verse in I Enjoy Being A Girl. When men say I’m cute and funny…. drool over dresses made of lace…. Talk on the telephone for hours… nope nothing about anal tissue.
I just caved and signed up for @youaregoodpod Patreon and this Lars and the Real Girl episode alone is worth the price of admission. #fuckjar #lovejar
I’m glad I did so much therapy early in life so now I can just buy spa treatments instead.
if the brightest stars of the silver screen don’t come out to shine on hollywood’s biggest night i’m going to kill myself
My mind is so blown. My kid can now bust out his recorder and improvise in harmony to whatever’s playing. He’s 8 and he can jam. He’s good on piano too, and learning ukulele! Next year, he’ll probably choose an orchestra instrument.
Did he just call them “twats and nincompoops?” What with his slurring and my drinking at each “America,” it’s tough to tell.
This is another, entirely different, crossposting attempt.
If my calculations are correct, this Post will appear on Bluesky, Twitter AND Mastodon… 🧪💥
Travis Kelce made a friendship bracelet and now a whole community of Swifties are holding back tears anticipating Jason Kelce's retirement speech. It has been a very weird and wonderful six months.
If this culture did not want me to become a melodramatic cartoony goth, it should have simply not released interview with The Vampire and Dracula during the years I was in middle school.
Your first “Frequently Used” GIF is your reaction to someone insulting you
Your first “Frequently Used” GIF is your reaction to someone insulting you https://t.co/mKC3XIvSji
Ok wait hold up
Amazing view of how it takes like, four? body men to get stay through a crowd.
Amazing view of how it takes like, four? body men to get stay through a crowd.
BitterOldPunk @BitterOldPunk
5K Followers 2K Following Twitter sure was fun while it lasted. I’ll miss you beautiful motherfuckers. @[email protected] Discord: BitterOldPunk#5350
Martha Smith is on th.. @mostlymartha
2K Followers 719 Following Aspiring Auntie Mame. Fat, bi, femme, she/her. Future MLB Commissioner. Spiritual AND religious, Presbyterian type. Agonies-haver and bath-taker.
endora bullshit @collectdust
5K Followers 1K Following Dirtbag Professional Outrage And Swear Machine Fucking Relentless Woke Hyena they/them
DrLith Here, There & .. @drlith
334 Followers 311 Following Translator. Mom. Doggerel and pony show. Proprietor of the Bee & Rose. Mefite. @[email protected], @drlith on TikTok
Stephen (or Beans) @jaybeans
776 Followers 519 Following Pardon me I was born to speak all mirth & no matter. I'm into comics, period dramas, TV, and baseball. Enspousened to @mostlymartha. He/them
Lyn Never @LynNever
974 Followers 3K Following Writer, gardener, cook, IT/DBA, former Texan, feminist, queer, SJW, antifa. Mefite. She/her. Los Angeles. https://t.co/thWnaIFxbU
Patti @pattinichols
492 Followers 700 Following very cool and normal/@pattinichols.bsky.social ig: @pattinichols
felicity @mygothlaundry
734 Followers 1K Following it’s been unreal, dears and I stuck it out as long as I could, but it’s time to leave this particular party. Now you can find me @[email protected]
Crass Mazov @popeguilty
1K Followers 1K Following "The human animal is a beautiful and terrible creature, capable of limitless compassion and unfathomable cruelty."
The syllabus machine @PaterAletheias
547 Followers 275 Following I’m exactly as brave as I think I am. He/him/Professor/Rev. Dr.
Elementary Penguin @ElemPeng
395 Followers 525 Following Elementary Penguin is an okapi at the San Diego Zoo. He likes math and hates food.
DigDoug @DigDoug
414 Followers 1K Following Quixotic. Through and through. All opinions are my own, not my employers. Because I have a soul and corporations do not.
Joan Arkham @JoanArkham
825 Followers 2K Following She/Her. Black Lives Matter. #DCStatehood Film photography: @OpulentTarnish. https://t.co/VPx2zCF9fx
MissConstrue @MissConstrue
690 Followers 2K Following Writer, artist, mefite, old gwjer, bringer of chaos, part time dragon.
sweetbabette @sweetbabette
3K Followers 2K Following Jersey girl. Phillies fan. Pretty Bag of Nonsense. Looking for the balance between youse and y'all. Tweet like no one’s following #LatchKeyKid
Slava Ukraini 🇺�.. @JonnyWallflower
166 Followers 258 Following he/him @[email protected] слава україні героям слава
madamjujujive @madamjujujive
1K Followers 1K Following professional dilettante. erstwhile hippie. cis crone. types with toes. BLM, TLM. Mastodon: [email protected] and https://t.co/3PwqxdImcl
mx. literal @baniak
862 Followers 3K Following angry potatoes forever! they/them @elephantsaxophone.bsky.social
T6bruins @t6bruins7884
28 Followers 171 Following
Totain @Totain6Totain
0 Followers 146 Following
zubair fakir @zorrojhb
60 Followers 1K Following
Tide & Thyme || Food .. @Tide_Thyme
63 Followers 487 Following Simple cooking made by you, for you, making a better you. Click below and join our FREE recipe email list 🏝️🍋
Candice Bargeman @C_Barg_eman
16 Followers 89 Following Eternalizing emotions and memories through the art of photography. Let's create something beautiful together. 🌟 #Photography
Goo @zgperu63
40 Followers 42 Following
Ryu Fonseca @sala19378
1 Followers 90 Following
Fatih Çeyt @fatih_ceyt
2 Followers 46 Following
Sammy Vera @SammyVera_
79 Followers 660 Following
Adam voyeur @Adamcandid88
39 Followers 84 Following
Diamond Sweetness @DiamondSweetnes
322 Followers 5K Following We provide Holistic Private Chef Services, Sports Massage Therapy and so much more! Chef Don Wallace #Michigan #Chef #Massage #health #Foodie
会議室 @ROyaJnf8vb19856
54 Followers 82 Following
Mike Hasty 🚑 @MikeHasty4
242 Followers 1K Following I occasionally say semi-intelligent things. Can also make Minute Rice in 54 seconds. Able to consistently identify all squares with traffic lights.
Connie Wayne @ConniejqWayne
4 Followers 280 Following Gathered on the site of girls from all US states 😈 Ready for private meetings Nudes in profile! Watching this https://t.co/BmDuZxu9k5
Bensta @Bensta_M
114 Followers 128 Following
Your Better Lifestyle @yourlifest
106 Followers 838 Following Discover a world of inspiration on our lifestyle blog. Dive into a wealth of articles and insights to elevate your well-being.
Michael Lugo @miclugo
995 Followers 1K Following northerner in exile, data scientist, reads too much, lover of cats, parent of world's cutest chaos muppets
Vitamins Vites @VitaminVites
247 Followers 5K Following offer quality vitamins https://t.co/FpS0B7ROzi https://t.co/R5o58MgFsg https://t.co/MeUNk0lgWA keep https://t.co/b0MYawvs7c https://t.co/pmLhaPqrL1 https://t.co/S9HW8km1Km https://t.co/KDQ5Di4616 https://t.co/cqlfYNbWMe
kevon mckenzie @KevonMckenzie
1K Followers 3K Following Kevon mckenzie - Amazon Gift List - https://t.co/FNaS2FIMD0
Steven Smith @StevenJSmith240
569 Followers 2K Following Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.“ — George Santayana N0 NIGERIAN SCAMMERS PLEASE
Yayyaya69 @yayyaya69
0 Followers 71 Following
Guillermo Flores @mefloib
9 Followers 105 Following
Sonia famdecocu @famdecocu81546
14 Followers 352 Following
AT LORD @atlord406
2 Followers 16 Following
west @west1971326
76 Followers 18 Following
Elonmusk @Elonmusk246410
116 Followers 2K Following CEO OF TESLA MOTOR 🚗, OWNER OF X AND STARSHIP. CEO Of SPACE X🚀🚀 FOUNDER OF MUSK FOUNDATION.
Jordan Harper 🏴 @jordan_harper
8K Followers 747 Following Edgar-winning author of EVERYBODY KNOWS, SHE RIDES SHOTGUN, THE LAST KING OF CALIFORNIA and LOVE AND OTHER WOUNDS. Currently co-showrunning CRIMINAL.
shermat turkiy @SermatB44418
134 Followers 562 Following
Vitamins Agree @AgreeVitamin
591 Followers 5K Following offer vitamins and sport nutrition https://t.co/bNg5T94eaM https://t.co/kpDDEOMOn0 https://t.co/hH2QpaFPNo https://t.co/tI3twIxg7L https://t.co/1k6LwkTvNu
Russell Ira Crowe @CroweIra88659
39 Followers 2K Following older than my children younger than my parents gets the odd job Instagram too as @RussellCrow.
Romaine Konek @romai_kon
57 Followers 5K Following
Deepak @D33pakMaharaj
140 Followers 2K Following
FERNEY BOTELLO @FBotello81411
22 Followers 48 Following
Romie Brinar @RomBrina
52 Followers 5K Following
Faruk yamanbahar @FarukYamanbahar
0 Followers 5 Following
Kazuko Bodle @BodKazuk
41 Followers 5K Following
Amara Jacquez @AmarJacqu
86 Followers 5K Following
Riana Craffey @CrafRia
76 Followers 5K Following
Carry Delira @CarryDeli
59 Followers 5K Following
Imbackonhere @imbackonhere
5 Followers 6 Following
BitterOldPunk @BitterOldPunk
5K Followers 2K Following Twitter sure was fun while it lasted. I’ll miss you beautiful motherfuckers. @[email protected] Discord: BitterOldPunk#5350
Martha Smith is on th.. @mostlymartha
2K Followers 719 Following Aspiring Auntie Mame. Fat, bi, femme, she/her. Future MLB Commissioner. Spiritual AND religious, Presbyterian type. Agonies-haver and bath-taker.
endora bullshit @collectdust
5K Followers 1K Following Dirtbag Professional Outrage And Swear Machine Fucking Relentless Woke Hyena they/them
DrLith Here, There & .. @drlith
334 Followers 311 Following Translator. Mom. Doggerel and pony show. Proprietor of the Bee & Rose. Mefite. @[email protected], @drlith on TikTok
Stephen (or Beans) @jaybeans
776 Followers 519 Following Pardon me I was born to speak all mirth & no matter. I'm into comics, period dramas, TV, and baseball. Enspousened to @mostlymartha. He/them
Jessamyn West @jessamyn
26K Followers 2K Following Rural tech geek. Researcher. Librarian resistance. I own MetaFilter. @[email protected] https://t.co/e5ZYspt4kj
Lyn Never @LynNever
974 Followers 3K Following Writer, gardener, cook, IT/DBA, former Texan, feminist, queer, SJW, antifa. Mefite. She/her. Los Angeles. https://t.co/thWnaIFxbU
Patti @pattinichols
492 Followers 700 Following very cool and normal/@pattinichols.bsky.social ig: @pattinichols
felicity @mygothlaundry
734 Followers 1K Following it’s been unreal, dears and I stuck it out as long as I could, but it’s time to leave this particular party. Now you can find me @[email protected]
Crass Mazov @popeguilty
1K Followers 1K Following "The human animal is a beautiful and terrible creature, capable of limitless compassion and unfathomable cruelty."
The syllabus machine @PaterAletheias
547 Followers 275 Following I’m exactly as brave as I think I am. He/him/Professor/Rev. Dr.
Elementary Penguin @ElemPeng
395 Followers 525 Following Elementary Penguin is an okapi at the San Diego Zoo. He likes math and hates food.
DigDoug @DigDoug
414 Followers 1K Following Quixotic. Through and through. All opinions are my own, not my employers. Because I have a soul and corporations do not.
Joan Arkham @JoanArkham
825 Followers 2K Following She/Her. Black Lives Matter. #DCStatehood Film photography: @OpulentTarnish. https://t.co/VPx2zCF9fx
MissConstrue @MissConstrue
690 Followers 2K Following Writer, artist, mefite, old gwjer, bringer of chaos, part time dragon.
sweetbabette @sweetbabette
3K Followers 2K Following Jersey girl. Phillies fan. Pretty Bag of Nonsense. Looking for the balance between youse and y'all. Tweet like no one’s following #LatchKeyKid
madamjujujive @madamjujujive
1K Followers 1K Following professional dilettante. erstwhile hippie. cis crone. types with toes. BLM, TLM. Mastodon: [email protected] and https://t.co/3PwqxdImcl
mx. literal @baniak
862 Followers 3K Following angry potatoes forever! they/them @elephantsaxophone.bsky.social
Brian Stack @BrianStack153
53K Followers 3K Following Writer, @ColbertLateShow Formerly at "Conan". @TheSecondCity Other stuff. @IUBloomington @UWMadison
LANCE OROZCO @KcluNewsLance
2K Followers 163 Following News Director, KCLU AM/FM, NPR for Ventura/Santa Barbara Counties. Winner of two national RTDNA Edward R. Murrow Awards, and five national SPJ Awards.
Dear Hank & John @dearhankandjohn
28K Followers 32 Following A comedy podcast in which @johngreen and @hankgreen answer questions, give dubious advice, and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon!
You're Wrong About... @yourewrongabout
136K Followers 3K Following Setting right what we once got wrong. Hosted by @Remember_Sarah, produced by @carekendrick. Social by team. DMs closed, contact info in the link. 💕
☀️👀 @zei_squirrel
242K Followers 0 Following https://t.co/NbtDw6O4K1 | https://t.co/KKP8K845AV | [email protected] | Content that would get me banned here: https://t.co/wljPw2lIp9
Joey Santore @JoeySantore
16K Followers 96 Following Producer of Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't. Host of Kill Your Lawn. Botany, Taxonomy, Evolution, Toilet Humor. 6 out of 10 PhD candidates can't stand me.
Naomi Fraga, PhD @naomibot
7K Followers 2K Following Director of Conservation @CABotanicGarden. I study #monkeyflowers, California #floristics, and rare #plants. #iamabotanist. Tweets my own.
Patrick Donnelly @bitterwaterblue
13K Followers 3K Following Desert advocate. Great Basin Director, @CenterForBioDiv & @CBD_Action_Fund. Groundwater & endemic species. Not going gentle into that good night. Tweets my own.
LA QuakeBot @earthquakesLA
504K Followers 6 Following I am a robot that tells you about earthquakes in Los Angeles as they happen. Built by @billsnitzer. Data is from the USGS. Get prepared: http://t.co/VtCEbuw6KH
Kristen Schaal @kristenschaaled
898K Followers 1K Following Comedian,actress, she/her. https://t.co/F8dZfOVJrt thanks, Carlie Hoke for writing it.
A!ex Steed @alexsteed
19K Followers 3K Following Co-Host of @youaregoodpod. Manager for folks in the arts. Bewildered person. Mainer in Los Angeles. Picture taker. Into being.
audie cornish @AudieCornish
221K Followers 2K Following journalist | interviewer | professional listener | formerly @NPR now at @CNN! my off air shenanigans on threads🧵@audieoffmic
DBX (she/they) 🏳�.. @snacksofgender
12 Followers 135 Following Another place, another me. Sexuality, gender, dysmorphia, body, life, issues! Who I am and wish to be, do, and see and feel. 🔞 trans femme (She/they)
Jessica Pin @jess_ann_pin
9K Followers 3K Following Women’s health activist. President @sheprojectmed Seen on @thedailyshow, @nytimes, @sciam. Published in @asjrnl. 15 med textbooks changed. @WashUBME
Daryl "Locked Account.. @hyperloopxl
52 Followers 74 Following Backup alt account, it's me, Daryl, just dumber. (She/they) 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Stephan J. Guyenet @sguyenet
49K Followers 335 Following The neuroscience of eating behavior and obesity. Author of The Hungry Brain. Founder and director of Red Pen Reviews. Neuroscience PhD, University of WA.
PolyChrome | @ jensto.. @jennifer11stone
895 Followers 1K Following Burn down the patriarchy. Break the dams. Free the rivers. The Anthropocene sucks.
Rain DeGrey @raindegrey
51K Followers 825 Following International educator, writer & performer. she/her https://t.co/XkYOFfq2Fs P.O. Box 75-1572 Petaluma, CA 94975-1572
Lux Alptraum 🦋 lux.. @LuxAlptraum
21K Followers 2K Following Author, podcaster, bon vivant: https://t.co/n6aeXb1wYK. Peabody nominee. Literally OCD. Also on Bluesky at @luxalptraum.com Avi: @TheCovatar she/her
Tim Nafziger @tim_nafziger
1K Followers 1K Following Co-Founder of Congruity Works (#Drupal & #Engagement consulting). Mennonite writer & facilitator. Into cross-pollination, strategic improv & clutch tactics.
Kim Quindlen @kimquindlen
30K Followers 980 Following Chicago comedian. Occasional mom. Rep: Framework Entertainment [email protected]
Rickety Fuckery @IgnatiousNiple
210 Followers 300 Following Artsy fartsy. Resident booze hound. Snarky as hell. But, baby, I care.
Guy Branum @guybranum
96K Followers 7K Following Headlining the Elysian Theater in LA May 7 https://t.co/gFrL2CFLic for tickets.
Other Cinema @othercinema
3K Followers 473 Following Long-standing bastion of experimental film, video, and performance in San Francisco's Mission District; umbrella for OtherZine and Other Cinema Digital.
Negativland @negativlandland
2K Followers 20 Following Official Twitter for the audio-visual collective known as Negativland. We Can Really Feel Like We're Here: the latest collaboration with SUE-C. https://t.co/cBUrbKorQd
labour hillbilly @PourThom
817 Followers 4K Following exploring the liminal space between cringe and oof :: no gods, no politicians :: Very Unique :: (he/him)
Sweet Streets @sweetstreetsbh
6K Followers 1K Following Sweet Streets is a boutique creative consulting firm with a focus on girls' brands.✨ Shop #TheLastUnicorn now🦋
Fuck You I Quit @fuckyouiquit
498K Followers 309 Following The labor market is a mess. Here to show you why. Highlighting workers conflict with poor management, corporate greed, bad business, and the economy.
diario de dario @mexitalianbeef
7K Followers 1K Following compulsive poster maintaining my diary til the servers die 📝 the hank hill of weed + weed accessories ✨ i hope you like little dogs + little snacks 🐾
aurielle is off socia.. @YesAurielle
23K Followers 3K Following ARCHIVED ACCOUNT • 2022 GA Author of the Year • email for all inquiries, no DMs • free Palestine. 🇵🇸
Lady PhoeniX @IamLdyPhoeniX
37K Followers 148 Following ♦️♦️NSFW. 🎧Spotify: ImLadyPhoenix. ☆Erotic Photography . Next Account: Miss OniX.
Sue Gyford @suegyford
2K Followers 3K Following Escaped hack. @LungHasTheatre support team. Now of Edinburgh, previously of Essex, Estonia & Falkland Islands.
free palestine @snackfancy
1K Followers 814 Following artist. dilettante. the dazzle to your razzle. i aim for the troublepuffs. she/her
guncelawits@mastodon... @guncelawits
1K Followers 5K Following Voting should be easy for everyone. The person who gets the most votes should win.
Emily Oster @ProfEmilyOster
109K Followers 283 Following Data-Driven Pregnancy and Parenting Economist @BrownUniversity Author #ExpectingBetter, #Cribsheet, #FamilyFirm, #TheUnexpected CEO of https://t.co/Q4hHIERBD5 👇
NotableClassics @NotableClassics
89K Followers 0 Following Classic pictures that might not be safe for work. Sister account: @NotablePhotos Please consider supporting us via the Twitter tip jar.
Big Cox Energy @tracycox
2K Followers 2K Following Award-winning opera singer & fat activist + artist Tracy Cox. IG @sparklejams. 🏳️🌈 She/ Her
Russell Crowe @russellcrowe
2.9M Followers 343 Following older than my children, younger than my parents, get the odd job. On Instagram too as @RussellCrowe.
Landon McDonald: Vice.. @McMovieMan
8K Followers 991 Following 🏳️🌈Actor | Hoshina #KaijuNo8 | Enmu #DemonSlayer | Ranpo #BSD | Kazuki #BuddyDaddies | Rohan #JJBA | Future Devil #ChainsawMan | Kamo #JJK | @ConventionsEtcV
Fyodor Dostoyevsky @Dostoyevsky
8K Followers 1K Following Fyodor Dostoyevsky (or Dostoevsky) was a Russian novelist and writer of fiction whose works include Crime and Punishment and The Brothers Karamazov
From Metafilter @carnivorouskale
8 Followers 38 Following
nowhere reporter @NowhereReport
22 Followers 44 Following sockless on metafilter. reporting on life in a tiny remote town in the middle of nowhere, and other stuff. there will also be husky puppies. commence cute.
Ambrose @ambrosen
1K Followers 2K Following Will favourite your cat pictures. Likes numbers. Crohn's, cœliac, neurodivergent. 🐘: @[email protected] / https://t.co/ckraKMvL0w
Plain Dealer @arbuthknot
14 Followers 127 Following Tweeting snippets from books of interest. #mefite
Dua Lipa stuns as congressional gerrymander
i took my first-ever trip into manhattan when i was 18 and my first stop was 30 rock and this is still a prized possession #CONAN
Getting older is a process whereby all the moms from your old favorite TV shows suddenly get hot.
The way Unc just giggled at ya girl in the red hat. She didn't get the reaction she wanted. #SOTU2024
If I was advising Biden, he'd end the State of the Union by shouting "...and you bitches never get to touch medicare!" #SOTU2024
Your first “Frequently Used” GIF is your reaction to someone insulting you
Your first “Frequently Used” GIF is your reaction to someone insulting you
@EruditeElf @AmbrosiaVoyeur that makes sense. mama kelce often rolls with her own too but i can see this being enough
@collectdust @AmbrosiaVoyeur I do love how Taylor brought her arm up and across Donna when someone bumped into her. I hate that Taylor has to be so well versed in personal safety.
@collectdust This is just mezze, dim sum, or tapas. half the world eats this way
If you want to contrast a muscle guy vs. a chubby hairy guy, Jason Kelce is a bad choice for the latter because he is *also* a muscle guy. Extra weight at his center of gravity makes him better at his job. This contrast is vanity vs. employment, not majorly different body types.
This person has expressed all the feels.
Literally the only thing I know about this game.
[cw: body dysmorphia, ed] i don't think i'm gonna be able to watch that broadway show turned into a movie bc of the pop singer star 🫤 will likely delete
fuck yes that girls sports commercial! show girls falling down, face planting, working at it! and yes. the biggest threat to girls sports is over focusing on their bodies until it makes them want to quit, which seems pretty important to mention rn
@AmbrosiaVoyeur ....AND because of the buildings built in the path of the "dry" creeks and rivers, and 100 year flood plains. A lot of the buildings destroyed in the #MontecitoMudslides were in the natural path of creeks that had been re-routed. Nature knows better.
lol that's what a surprise at a win looks like - billie is great
@AmbrosiaVoyeur i've been a long time miley fan lol but i get why people aren't and yeah. i like tay! but even including all the alt versions of that record? it doesn't match up to her work or the other nominees
@AmbrosiaVoyeur the label/artist picks that. i think officially there are only 2 singles so far, vampire and bad idea right and yeah, so much of the record is better
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