Dana Eagle @DanaEagleTweets
Dana's been seen on NBC's Last Comic Standing, The Late, Late Show, Comedy Central, and Comics Unleashed. She began in musical theater but was asked to leave. DanaEagle.com Los Angeles, CA Joined April 2009-
Tweets1K
-
Followers4K
-
Following2K
-
Likes308
“Colorado Reinstates 160-Year-Old Abortion Ban” Does that mean we have to give our old abortions back? nytimes.com/2024/04/09/us/…
0
0
0
31
0
Okay a-holes yoga's about to start and I'm still on my morning tears - I mean pages.
CVS CEO OVERHEARD: Maybe the wait at the pharmacy won’t seem so long if we make the receipts even longer. npr.org/2023/09/29/120…
In the year of iPhone 15, do we still need Jesus to mark time? 2,000 years ago B.I. (Before iPhone), people scrolled through actual scrolls.
With end to strike, writers go in search of work while cats go in search of new laptops to sleep on.
IN COVID NEWS: The U.S. is now offering free At-Home Test Kits. Unfortunately, homes not included.
Dana Eagle retweeted
Go see @Lisa_Alvarado this Thursday @TheDenTheatre
Dana Eagle retweeted
“I’m An Entertainer” my new special. May 23 (that’s tomorrow!)
The store told me when I purchase glasses from them they donate ANOTHER pair to someone on need. I said, “Well I’ll just wait for next person to come in …”
The thrill of success is short lived but kids - you could ruin forever.
I am a woman of mystery.... I realize that each time I try to figure out my computer filing system.
I like these quiet weeks. Gives my procrastination some downtime.
Researchers say a new study finds PMS Mood Swings represent a key public health issue. To which women responded - that's not PMS, we're just pissed.
Ireland fines Instagram $500 million for mishandling teen privacy data. Says one 13 year-old girl, "Now what about my brother! "
The Williams Sisters are officially retired from tennis. Watch out pickle ball!
I just took action with @TheActionNet: Join the Campaign!. Take action here: actionnetwork.org/forms/join-the…
Scientists say, tonight is biggest moon of the year. Cows say - well then u fuckin jump over it.
John Fugelsang @JohnFugelsang
489K Followers 20K Following comedian, actor, broadcaster & recovering cynic * SiriusXM #127 M-F * - Our podcast is daily on stitcher, Google, & https://t.co/qLUPII4L3V
Rocky Mountain Mike @RockyMntnMike
28K Followers 5K Following Not a parody account, but an account by the parody guy.
Stephanie Miller @StephMillerShow
152K Followers 21K Following Host of The Stephanie Miller Show. Monday-Friday 6-9AM PT/9-12PM ET. @SXMProgress 127, @FreeSpeechTV / https://t.co/5uBT88jmCa, IHeartRadio, Progressive Voices, TuneIn.
Jody Hamilton @fromthebunkerjr
32K Followers 1K Following Show Runner for @StephMillerShow and one of the Goth Ninjas Thursdays on @bobcesca_go
Travis Bone @TheRealTBone
19K Followers 2K Following Former EP for @stephmillershow. Pop culture/political junkie
Karen From Chicago @KIResists
9K Followers 5K Following Co host @TruBluPolitics podcast #VoteBlue #StephHead #TruBluCru #VoteBlueToSaveDemocracy #BLM #TransAlly #MomHugs #LGBTQIA #NeverForgetJ6 #SlavaUkraini
Bob Cesca @bobcesca_go
78K Followers 1K Following Power nerd host of the Bob Cesca Show and Trek Politics @trekpolitics. Contributor: Stephanie Miller Show & TME w/ John Fugelsang. Tweets = opinion.
Dana Goldberg @DGComedy
82K Followers 2K Following I write jokes, tell them on stages, & do some other things to make the world better. 🏳️🌈 she/her #BlackLivesMatter SiriusXM 127 and co-host of @dailybeanspod
Chris Lavoie @RadioGuyChris
37K Followers 1K Following Competitive bodybuilder. Oxford comma user. Disney parks nut. Bon vivant. Radio guy.
Laurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
106K Followers 6K Following Comedian / Emmy-Nominated & WGA Award-Winning Writer / Seen on After Midnight, Conan, Corden / NYT Best Selling Author / "Cis Woke Grief Sl*t" out now.
Wanda Sykes @iamwandasykes
551K Followers 1K Following Comic, producer, writer, stunt double, wife, mother, and know-it-all. Coming to a city near you...maybe. Check the website for tour dates.
Erica Rhodes @ericarhodes
137K Followers 147K Following I like the ocean & coffee. My second album, Ladybug out now on iTunes.
JasonDvorak6 (Dilling.. @JasonDvorak6
2K Followers 3K Following Working on a Sunday in refinery, make a million for the Texans twenty dollar me, I'm working so hard, working for the company🎶🎶
Mother Lode Liberal (.. @davelakin
194 Followers 704 Following Proud Single Dad and Liberal Patriot, raising 3 kids, 5 dogs and a parrot.
Leslie Jones @Spiker715
8K Followers 8K Following Mom to Brad Jones @thecinemasnob. Loyal Democrat! 🇺🇲 #Resister #VoteBlue #LGBTQ #TeamJustice! Big 🎾⚾️ fan! #HistoryMatters 🌻
Michelle Vitello 🌻.. @msrnti
267 Followers 5K Following CASA/GAL, Advocate and Volunteer for neglected, abused and underprivileged children. 🌊🇺🇦🌻 Democrat. Always a never TFG.
cécile @cecile071984
154 Followers 2K Following
Mary Phillips @floresgardens
262 Followers 3K Following The Earth shall abide with my help. Dog is my Co-pilot 🐾
(((Tara Dublin))), Ro.. @taradublinrocks
111K Followers 22K Following Writer. Author of THE SOUND OF SETTLING, A Rock & Roll Love Story. Boy & Cat Mom. Jersey Girl in PDX. Democrat for life. https://t.co/AvD3vVEigP #SignTara
Corey Hansen @CoreyHansen208
17 Followers 20 Following
Pat Impiccini @pvimpiccini
35 Followers 1K Following Spent nearly 25 years in TV news in the Phoenix Market. My wife, Rochelle, and I have a media relations business, PR Communications. http://t.co/2VkDGTNI
Dr.HoustonS 💊 @HoustonSMartin1
2K Followers 5K Following Trust me… I’m ex-Pre Med. #BLM #Feminist #AlphaLiberal #VFL #WhoDat #NinerGang ✊🏿🌹🍊⚜️Been here since 2009. Ex-Mississippian. Ex-Nashvillian. Ex-Memphian.
Nomie Ackerley @YaAckerley
1K Followers 2K Following Opinionated Decorator, Designer, DISAPPOINTED BY LIAR SCOTUS, Replace with contemporary thinking justices in touch with the majority & world opinion
humblepi @humblepi
130 Followers 2K Following
A WILL 🇺🇸 @HerrWill55
2K Followers 5K Following I'm a 20+ year retired Army veteran, but a Soldier always! Also, I'm a true Cheesehead (Go Pack Go!) #BlackLivesMatter #BidenHarris2024 #ResistAlways
TheMassachusettsSpy @stevena472
441 Followers 1K Following Since 1770, more or less, the Commonwealth's leading journal of politics and culture
💙Alex P🧡 @AlexPinNC
11K Followers 12K Following I enjoy bourbon, wine, horror movies, discussing politics and I am a coffee addict. Total Steph head.🏳️🌈Please no DM’s.💙#VoteBlue #BlueCrew
Pinetop is on Post @pinetop12
1K Followers 5K Following Vaccinated, boosted, masked. Liberal, Unions. Biden is your president. Header pic Telemark skiing
CoffeeTumbler @CoffeeTumbler1
102 Followers 558 Following Just looking to read may tweet on occasion
Alex Floyd-Vargas @AlexAliosher
417 Followers 3K Following
Gina Windham @GinaGinwin48
68 Followers 662 Following
"Think like a proton... @DCLlama
152 Followers 553 Following A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference. ~ Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne
stan @stanwiz7
445 Followers 1K Following
troyoneal @leadlion1
847 Followers 5K Following
~ANDREA aka admflagur.. @admflagurl38
983 Followers 2K Following ✨ SPARKLER MOD , Guest Coordinator for MEGA WORLDWIDE with HalSparks https://t.co/smeQcGBtnk✨
Mark P @mark_p_19
452 Followers 4K Following Dad, Hokie, Drum Corps Vet, Superhero/Sci-Fi Geek, IT Professional, 7 string jazz guitarist, DC sports fan (Nats and Caps!).
ChampB50 🐐🏆 @ChampB50
4K Followers 4K Following ⚡️🔥💙🌍🏆 “Cause I’m the World’s forgotten boy; The one who’s searchin’, searchin’ to destroy”. Keeping a close eye on all things that Champ! 🖕🏽Fascist
Mark Ashe @markashe1983
235 Followers 857 Following moderate Republican. American. dislike of trump and his cult. also love baseball.
William Bolz @Billbolz
482 Followers 2K Following Actor, movie lover, other stuff, too, probably. I'm in Chad Vader, Beer & Board Games, other stuff with Blame Society Films. Give it a look-see, won't you?
Tom Gladstone @TomGladstone
207 Followers 597 Following Standing up for democracy, both in Ukraine and the USA. #StandWithUkraine
Democracy Avenger @EllieDiaz8
541 Followers 2K Following Proud anti-fascist, feminist, liberal, cosplayer, video gamer, avid reader, political junkie, fan of the Miami Dolphins, Heat, Canes and an empathetic fool.
AjaKane @AjaKane
357 Followers 2K Following
Jackrabbit Slim @jerose253
4 Followers 74 Following
Keith Wann @KeithWann
8K Followers 429 Following Daddy-preneur, Producer, Director, Writer, Actor, Comedian, Husband, Father, Sign Language, Time-Freedom, and God is great. I bother my kids. Godzilla won. LGM.
Muhammad Hammad Manzo.. @HamadIbnManzoor
298 Followers 5K Following
@TheNewAustinPowersya @NewAustinpowers
233 Followers 2K Following Verified sexy beast with mojo and international man of mystery! 18+only. Shall we shag now or shag later? IG: @thenewaustinpowersya TikTok: @austinpowersya
RagingElder @RagingElder
3 Followers 116 Following Elderly and ragey (I did not write/create the profile image. Would give credit if I knew where it came from—but whomever originated it is my 💩hero)
@@Kleofas @dabrowsk11
62 Followers 253 Following
Chris @2Chris4
92 Followers 5K Following
Rocky Bellenger @rockylee54
2K Followers 2K Following Interests: #Sports #Politics #Automobiles #History #Music #Fishing Former State of Michigan Coordinator for two presidential campaigns.
dervish ⚜️🇺�.. @dervish2115
531 Followers 1K Following Hard Right, MAGA. My opinions are my own, I speak for no one else. Nothing I say should ever be construed as financial advice.
Unity Truth AGE @unity23354
172 Followers 947 Following Supporter & promoter of Unity and Truth. Anti-Globalist Elites
Kevin Valentin @KJV0614
62 Followers 230 Following President of Blue Jackets Fan Group @TheUBSoldiers. Big Blue Jackets fan. Love my Family and Friends.
Northern Ontario Part.. @NorOntPartyZone
205 Followers 1K Following The Party Zone grew roots in '73, and has since sought to give those of the North a chance to flourish against oppressive legislative forces. #MCGA
John Shelby @J2theShelby
824 Followers 2K Following ℍ𝕚𝕘𝕙 𝕗𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕓𝕣𝕦𝕤𝕤𝕖𝕝 𝕤𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕥𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕘𝕣𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕖𝕤𝕖 𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕨𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕤.
Zack Koenig @Koenigzck
119 Followers 747 Following
Duid Mahanon @DuidMahanon
378 Followers 4K Following Woke-ness: religion of the rising neo-feudalistic Great Reset. Unto which --Thorough Self-Honesty--, Objectivity, Utiliarianism, & Egalitarianism are Panacea..
The forces from heave.. @sirdrake76
113 Followers 913 Following
John Fugelsang @JohnFugelsang
489K Followers 20K Following comedian, actor, broadcaster & recovering cynic * SiriusXM #127 M-F * - Our podcast is daily on stitcher, Google, & https://t.co/qLUPII4L3V
Rocky Mountain Mike @RockyMntnMike
28K Followers 5K Following Not a parody account, but an account by the parody guy.
Stephanie Miller @StephMillerShow
152K Followers 21K Following Host of The Stephanie Miller Show. Monday-Friday 6-9AM PT/9-12PM ET. @SXMProgress 127, @FreeSpeechTV / https://t.co/5uBT88jmCa, IHeartRadio, Progressive Voices, TuneIn.
Jody Hamilton @fromthebunkerjr
32K Followers 1K Following Show Runner for @StephMillerShow and one of the Goth Ninjas Thursdays on @bobcesca_go
Bob Cesca @bobcesca_go
78K Followers 1K Following Power nerd host of the Bob Cesca Show and Trek Politics @trekpolitics. Contributor: Stephanie Miller Show & TME w/ John Fugelsang. Tweets = opinion.
Malcolm Nance @MalcolmNance
1.1M Followers 3K Following US Intelligence +36 yrs. Expert MENA/SWA Terrorism, US Extremism, Dead Russians | x5 NYT Bestselling Author, Navy Sr Chief, Widower, Ukrainian Legionnaire 🇺🇦
Dana Goldberg @DGComedy
82K Followers 2K Following I write jokes, tell them on stages, & do some other things to make the world better. 🏳️🌈 she/her #BlackLivesMatter SiriusXM 127 and co-host of @dailybeanspod
Chris Lavoie @RadioGuyChris
37K Followers 1K Following Competitive bodybuilder. Oxford comma user. Disney parks nut. Bon vivant. Radio guy.
Jill Wine-Banks (now .. @JillWineBanks
613K Followers 631 Following MSNBC legal analyst. Author #TheWatergateGirl. Host #SistersInLaw & iGenPolitics podcasts. #JillsPins. Watergate & fed prosecutor. GC Army. COO ABA. Corp Exec.
Elizabeth Warren @SenWarren
6.9M Followers 508 Following U.S. Senator, Massachusetts. She/her/hers. Official Senate account.
Paula Poundstone @paulapoundstone
178K Followers 31K Following New tour dates. Podcast NOBODY LISTENS TO PAULA POUNDSTONE New albums CATS, COPS AND STUFF, PAULA POUNDSTONE GOES TO COLLEGE streaming worldwide.
Carlos Alazraqui @carlosalazraqui
31K Followers 809 Following 👮🏻♂️Dep. Garcia (RENO 911!) 🦘Rocko (Rocko's Modern Life) 🐕 Voice Taco Bell Dog 👓 Mr. Crocker (Fairly Odd Parents) Emmy Nominated, Annie Award Winner
Frangela @frangeladuo
31K Followers 7K Following @frangeladuo TikTok @frangela.duo https://t.co/UOqQqSImjt @idiotweek Go to https://t.co/G1eCH4PbUK https://t.co/0Ld1fSYJQw to support
Kathy Griffin @kathygriffin
2.0M Followers 1K Following @kathygriffin on TikTok, Instagram & YouTube. 2x Emmy & Grammy Award Winning Comedian. 2x Time NYT Bestselling Author. 23 specials. 1 feature film.
Stephanie Ruhle @SRuhle
812K Followers 2K Following Host of @11thhour on @msnbc M-F 11PM EST, @nbcnews Snr Business Analyst, former: @Bloombergtv, Deutsche Bank, CSFB. L❤️ver of odd #s & even playing fields
Laurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
106K Followers 6K Following Comedian / Emmy-Nominated & WGA Award-Winning Writer / Seen on After Midnight, Conan, Corden / NYT Best Selling Author / "Cis Woke Grief Sl*t" out now.
Shannon Watts @shannonrwatts
596K Followers 19K Following Founder of @MomsDemand, Co-founder @Everytown / Board @emergeamerica / Substack https://t.co/yuv4tlDRne
Wanda Sykes @iamwandasykes
551K Followers 1K Following Comic, producer, writer, stunt double, wife, mother, and know-it-all. Coming to a city near you...maybe. Check the website for tour dates.
Eddie Brill @Eddie_Brill
4K Followers 5K Following Stand up comedian. Proud father of a hilarious stand up comedian. Actor, writer, producer, human.
Elon Musk @elonmusk
181.7M Followers 585 Following
Stef Zamorano @miserablelib
37K Followers 980 Following Comedian, Pocha Executive Producer on The Jimmy Dore Show. Proud Union Member & Unprofessional Ping Pong Player
LA County Sheriffs @LASDHQ
200K Followers 277 Following Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department (Headquarters). Official. #LASD https://t.co/Pb3FGm7hI8 https://t.co/I1Y6ON6Eod
LACoFireAirOps @LACoFireAirOps
54K Followers 214 Following *Official* Los Angeles County Fire Department Air Operations Section, 24hr Fire, Rescue, Emergency Medical service. Not monitored 24/7. In emergency, dial 911.
LASD West Hollywood @WHDLASD
11K Followers 271 Following West Hollywood Station, Los Angeles County Sheriff's Dept City of #WeHo &(Co.) Universal Citywalk/Studios Stn, WLA Fed. Web: https://t.co/4XfbqYFQMs
LACoFD @LACOFD
108K Followers 225 Following Welcome to the official Twitter feed of the LACoFD. Dial 9-1-1 for emergencies. For emergency incident alerts, please follow @LACoFDPIO.
LAFD 🔥 @LAFD
222K Followers 18 Following An all-risk life safety agency protecting the City of Los Angeles. To report an emergency, call or text 911.
Alerts SoCal @AlertsSocal
5K Followers 1K Following Covering Breaking News Police/Fire/Natural Disasters/Major Incidents in South OC Video Journalist @OCHAWKNEWS. website: https://t.co/zqmYl5OpTa
LA County Scanner @LACoScanner
89K Followers 208 Following Your #1 Source For Rapid & Accurate #BreakingNews In #Pursuits #Aviation #Fire #ActiveShooter #SWAT #Protests #LosAngeles #OC #Riverside
Marina Franklin @marinayfranklin
13K Followers 1K Following An emerging star- NY Times, New Comedy Special Available at https://t.co/C9ZI3kaeyR & https://t.co/OVUVzNjTCW or hear my podcast at https://t.co/qmuY8xBCcy
Adam Lieblein @FunnierAdam
875 Followers 4K Following Just being myself. Hopefully funnier. Definitely not thinner. I'm subjectively less funny at @acmeadam.
Car Dealership Guy @GuyDealership
456K Followers 530 Following Transparent insights into the car market. Featured in Apple News and NY Post. Host @CDG_Podcast | Jobs https://t.co/TvUrG7DI0Z | DM submissions
I appreciate you. @DeeLaSheeArt
41K Followers 3K Following Visual Artist | Children’s book Illustrator-Author| Black AF | Queer | She | represented by @jmcgowanbks
Nathanael Jones @nathanbutnate
273 Followers 246 Following Storyboard artist and writer. Previously on Mao Mao and Arlo. Somewhere in the world, there’s a dog that can talk.
Kevin S.W. @KevoStone
83 Followers 1K Following Storyboard artist (Looking for work) / Currently Usps clerk/person who exhales more than Inhales. Agender: any pronouns https://t.co/CXqfdkSInm
KarliCartoons.bsky.so.. @KarliCartoons
5K Followers 918 Following 2D Animation Director 💛🤍 they/them 💜🖤 [email protected]⚠️often NSFW⚠️ opinions my own 💸 https://t.co/c0LLkTrak2
Chris Lark @MrCoolMintProd
205 Followers 615 Following Indie Film Producer Guy. Now with Twitter account.
Linkara @Linkara19
50K Followers 188 Following Comic reviewer and over-thinker of Power Rangers (He/Him). (Backup is @AT4WBackup ) https://t.co/DlfCrF5ihN https://t.co/6e6Ml4AES9 https://t.co/JSw7KhnnX4
Dylan Brody @dylanbrody
11K Followers 6K Following playwright, author, humorist. writers' workshop - https://t.co/7Ip30ke9pj Check out the new WIP PATREON https://t.co/EAIJHEWlDo
Lady Laughs Comedy @LadyLaughsFest
355 Followers 725 Following Live Virtual Comedy and Supporter of #FunnyWomen Seen in/on: @parademagazine @WISCTV_News3 @KAKEnews @Isthmus 👇Get Tickets & Watch on our website
Molly Hawkey @MollyHawkey
2K Followers 436 Following
Bitter Homes Series @BitterHomes
465 Followers 840 Following Watch sparring partners @FieldingEdlow and @larryclarke_ spin their relationship bullshit into "comedy gold" (LA Weekly) on Bitter Homes and Gardens.
Amir @AmirAminiMD
52K Followers 87 Following
Matt Taibbi @mtaibbi
1.9M Followers 4K Following Author of INSANE CLOWN PRESIDENT, I CAN’T BREATHE, SPANKING THE DONKEY, and SMELLS LIKE DEAD ELEPHANTS
nick griffin @thenickgriffin
20K Followers 6K Following https://t.co/al4O0qbzSP i am a comedian. Conan. Colbert. Letterman. I have a special on amazon. #CheerUp. Also a horror podcast on iTunes called Scary Monsters.
Annie Lederman @annielederman
72K Followers 394 Following I’m the #1 award winning funniest comedian/ podcaster dead or alive. come see me live. tour dates on my website. watch my podcast Trash Tuesday on YouTube.
Tuesdays@9 LA @9Tuesdays
389 Followers 338 Following Naked Angels' cold reading series, in L.A. since 2004, featuring new works by emerging writers, read by talented actors. Tues nights @ Fountain Theatre
⚓️charles de gaul.. @GaulleLehartel
107 Followers 2K Following WARNING ADULT CONTENT 🚫18 if you don't like what you see on my profile, don't follow me.
Maureen Langan @MaureenLangan
2K Followers 245 Following Comedian AGT, BadAss Women Talk Radio Host, Commentator, TEDx Talk. https://t.co/7KAl8hHve4 https://t.co/kOqfEDDATN
Chris Karwowski @ChrisKarwowski1
846 Followers 1K Following Writer/Producer The Onion, https://t.co/CdxHeItycv, Audible, Talking Tom, The Trap Set, Word Girl, O'Grady, The Alien Guide To Earth. Also Smoove B.
Agathe Panaretos @AgathePanaretos
415 Followers 623 Following Nope, not like Agatha. | Oscars, Primetime Emmys, Crank Yankers, What Just Happened??!, formerly writer at large @TheOnion
Jon Bershad @JonBershad
7K Followers 1K Following Handsome man with many friends. Writer at various places. Previously, animator at @tooningout.
Mr. Marchand @MitchMarchand
8K Followers 950 Following Emmy Nominated Writer. Producer-Comic. I write award shows, sitcoms, and Twitter posts that don’t get RT.
Brooke Heinichen @brookeheinichen
824 Followers 476 Following
Steven Strauss @stevenstrauss
116 Followers 289 Following Taking the fun out of ukulele music since 1973. Details happily provided on request.
Chris Oliver @ChrisWoodOliver
1K Followers 783 Following Stand Up Comic, Writer, English Teacher and Co-Proprietor of @TaoComedyStudio with @thebobbieoliver
Laugh Riot Grrrl LA @LaughRiotGrrrls
2K Followers 2K Following Inspired by the early 90s punk rock feminist movement #RiotGrrrl, we seek to encourage feminist voices in comedy. @taocomedystudio @thebobbieoliver #riotgrrrl
congresstrading.com @congresstrading
50K Followers 35 Following Trade stocks like your Congressman. As featured in CNBC, WSJ, NYT, FOX, and CNN. Free 7 day trial, cancel anytime.
David Koechner @DavidKoechner
148K Followers 2K Following Actor. Comedian. The Office, Anchorman, American Dad. Missouri boy, Chiefs fan.
LISA CURRY @lisa_curry
17K Followers 1K Following Comedian • Writer • Succubus • Opening Act @jimjefferies • @WGAWest @TelevisionAcad @RecordingAcad • Cohost @doomscrollshow
Melanie Vesey @MelanieVesey
4K Followers 3K Following ✨Mom✨Wife✨Promotions Expert @veseyagency & @promoterescue
Suli McCullough @SuliMcCullough
3K Followers 1K Following Comedian/Actor/Writer/Producer I played #Crazylegs in "Don’t Be A Menace" & Mouse on The Jamie Foxx Show #SuliStrong 💪🏾,I was just diagnosed with a pumpkin-spice hernia.
Both my kids are good athletes. They’re both very competitive eaters.
Taylor Swift is the last attempt to distract everyone from the fast decline of a nation.
Yesterday, on my way to the football game, I accidentally cut somebody off and they gave me the foam finger.
I wonder if luck is offended that everybody calls it “dumb.”
People talk about vicious circles but parallelograms can be just as mean-spirited.
Got to open for The Gul! @GaryGulman is touring with this material, you gotta see him, live.
60 today. Never thought I’d make it this far. It’s crazy. Grateful.
I’ve never been more grateful to know I’m allowed to boot up my laptop tomorrow, open my unfinished script, place my fingers on the keyboard, and feel 100% certain I’ll never be funny again. 🙏
been watching friends do stand up all weekend. just sitting and giggling. man it’s fun and it makes people very happy and it’s nice to remember that. ♥️
Everytime I do one of those online IQ tests and then I choose not to spend the money to tell me my results, I feel as though I've done very well.
So now Starbucks is discontinuing all plastic, so you have to drink an iced drink out of a disgusting paper lid. This might save the world, but end Starbucks.
I’m gonna need all the moms who submitted books to be banned from schools to go ahead and check their husbands browser history.
Help i just want people to come to my comedy shows
The pace of AI remains insane 🤯 All these announcements in the last 7 days: Zapier AI Bard Images Mind to Video Google AI Ads Photoshop Fill Bing x ChatGPT Windows Copilot Perplexity Copilot DragGAN Image AI Google SoundStorm Here's everything you need to know:
Oh, A-f*cking-Men! "Until a drag queen walks into a school and beats eight kids to death with a copy of 'To Kill a Mockingbird,' I think you’re concentrating on the wrong shit.” ~ Wanda Sykes @iamwandasykes #WandaSykes #MAGA #GOP #books #GOPTraitors #censorship #DeSantis
Trends for United States
924 B posts
721 B posts
14,6 B posts
2.767 posts
650 B posts
3.437 posts
52,3 B posts
6.903 posts
3.379 posts
8.028 posts
1.441 posts
2.266 posts
1.303 posts
3.525 posts
You might like
BoehlertMediaBusters
@MediaBusters6
5K Followers
Frangela
@frangeladuo
31K Followers
Tao Comedy Studio
@TaoComedyStudio
3K Followers
GoForSharon🇺🇦�..
@sharon_houston
5K Followers
Kevin in Chicago
@HilariousGay
3K Followers
Karl Frisch
@KarlFrisch
42K Followers
Ken Wood
@The_Wood95
10K Followers
Chris Lavoie
@RadioGuyChris
37K Followers
May Lee
@mayleeasia
3K Followers
RobinThomasGrossman
@robinthomas101
11K Followers
Matt Keenan
@realfakemattk
312 Followers
suzanne westenhoefer
@szwest1
16K Followers
Erin Foley
@erinfoleycomic
11K Followers
Vanessa Rumbles
@VanessaRumbles
6K Followers
Carlos Alazraqui
@carlosalazraqui
31K Followers