Dan Eastwood @MercyBooCoo
Lover, TIE fighter, hoarse whisperer. Comedian. Joined December 2013-
Tweets283
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Followers200
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And then I saw her face (dur dur dur dur) Now I'm Justin Bieber! There's not a case (dur dur dur dur) of trout in my behind.
This new wheat virus is really...going against the grain. #LOL
My Coachella highlight is just a selfie of Cara Delevinge's sunglasses playing synths and crying.
damn if The Game ain't gna stay locked up 4 long fam. Get my n' outta lockup asap. We need justice. #unlockthegame
Keeping up with the Indiana Jones's "It could have been in the flamingos or the camels but no, it had to be in the lion enclosure" #longleat
Charity helps someone in need. Mail journalist lies to manufacture hatred for poor. Where's the real story here?
Mail on Sunday: We walked a mile in the shoes of some poor people and all we got for it was this stupid article.
The real question no one's asking: how did Jesus get hench enough to move that boulder in three days? No protein shakes or anything.
Isn't it weird how Jesus rose from the dead and he gets a whole religion, but when zombies and vampires do it everyone is terrified?
I can confirm that the Playboy Easter Bunny is not made of chocolate.
It's mad that on the one day when people are desperate to buy vinyl, copies are intentionally limited. Still about the music? Or the money?
Hi everyone after the success of Record Store Day I'm going to bring back Betamax with my Beta Days. Limited edition Avatar on Betamax. Yeah
Whoa boy it's been a good Record Store Day. All of my taxes and bills for the past year, filed away for safekeeping. Oh yes.
Help me, I'm really struggling with Candy Crush Saga, or as my wife insists I call it, diabetes.
Cattermole Cattermole Cattermole. The more you say it the more it sounds like something that's escaped from Alice in Wonderland.
Sleep is just procrastination from life.
♫ Put your hands up. Put your hands up. Put your hands up if you want to ask a question, because really, anything else is just rude."
♫ an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but what if the doctor is Dr Dre? ♫
Auto-erotic asphyxiation. Or as I prefer to call it, tie-dying.
ALL-Déia Dietrich @sasteeshy37270
9 Followers 678 Following Contanto que você tenha um celular,junte-se a All,ganhe mais de 200 por dia,se estiver interessado,tome a iniciativa de conversar comigo em particular!
Christina @Christina388580
94 Followers 2K Following
Jory @joryyroj
375 Followers 2K Following I dabble in comedy, play drums for several bands around Dallas, blessed with great family and friends, and have the most amazing 4 year old little boy. :)
Dollface Valkyrie @dllfcvlkr
128 Followers 2K Following Existentially narcissistic. Skeptic in the streets, zealot in the sheets. May be a lover but ain't no dancer.
The Dark Manager ™ @patchy_glimp
648 Followers 4K Following
Nia Kennedy @mp_manish
33 Followers 1K Following
Peter James @StiffyGiro
32 Followers 516 Following Choice bon mots from the event horizon of terminal ennui.
sillysiccophantic @drewcareysmile
73 Followers 1K Following my tounge my pen my reverberations my paper. I'll probably favorite your dumb tweet to make your feed look good, you simpleton.
Mateïson @malois487
1 Followers 223 Following this is mateïson, charlie beyerl's one man band. views expressed are mateïson's and mateïson's alone
matt @kienowmatt
265 Followers 900 Following
kenneth @Neth_Buenaobra
85 Followers 994 Following ..walang logic-logic, walang genius-genius pagdating sa pag ibig. tulak bibig kabig ng dibdib, lahat tayo ay may pinagdadaanan ang mahalaga ay may puhunan. ✈W
Honest Feelings @Truefromtruly
9 Followers 102 Following I say things people dont want to say out loud
Brendan James @deep_beige
96K Followers 2K Following Cohost & producer @blowbackpod NO DAYLIGHT out now. Show contact: [email protected]
Emma Scott @EmmaScottPotato
29 Followers 82 Following Don't worry, about a thing, because every little thing is gonna be alright
D @prophet_spider
400 Followers 1K Following
Gael Corcuera @gaelbise_x
26 Followers 242 Following Actor,emprendedor,poeta,escribir una gran pasion, bisexual,sin tabus.
Arroia @Arroia
4K Followers 3K Following A tattoo and a cat lover, a devoted trekkie, an Xbox addict & a fan of all things fantasy and sci-fi. A cheeky loudmouth too.
GordDawg - Municipal ... @GordDawg
1K Followers 1K Following Cis, hetero, He/Him. Husband, stepdad, dog dad, lover of beers, meat, camping. If gay marriage, abortion or transitioning offend you, you don't have to do it.
hïρρÿ ṃαṃα�... @dj_baby10
242 Followers 1K Following CALI born & raised, i like a chill vibe. LOVE my boys! gotta joke, stay positive & look ahead~LIVE & LEARN~refuse to give up.
G-g-g-ghost! @ladygagagaghost
3 Followers 38 Following so should I have gotten the free inspection even though I've never seen any mice here or?
Blake Stappler @shampoopy
41 Followers 211 Following
Zè Jökér @trey_sibley
22 Followers 99 Following
MRaufman @MRaufman
26 Followers 1K Following Unapologetic introvert. Please don't call me unless it's to cancel plans.
Funky Butt Lover @FatFreddysPat
2K Followers 2K Following Cat lover. Satanic débutante. Dick person. No strong opinions on Bubble Tape. he/his
johnboy73 @jmeaghan74
54 Followers 465 Following
Science Investigator @munawarbutt12
4K Followers 4K Following الفيزياء والرياضيات حقيقي التاريخ https://t.co/SL80MF1RM2 https://t.co/xi1WDiLtxG
Megan Doyle @HeyHeyMeganK
50 Followers 208 Following Current Art Student/Future History Fixer-upper Lady/Lover of Stories, Crew Neck Sweatshirts and Puppies. I'm with you in Rockland.
patrick aucoin @JohnnyNucks
979 Followers 4K Following this one place where if you're so inclined, one can at the least, rant. still struggling with socialisation.... Justice, and institutions immune to corruption
red bats with teeth @redbatswithteet
2 Followers 6 Following
equs sativa @2bridlez
21 Followers 204 Following
J-Sun @Jas_Dawg
66 Followers 220 Following I'm that guy you saw that one time and you were like damn! Check out that fuckin giant! You immediately thought of asking how tall I am. And you probably did.
bear without a chair @bearwithnochair
111 Followers 686 Following
‘Tis The Steven @Niburrific
416 Followers 1K Following Corporate exec by day, comedy screenwriter by night. My sleep number is vodka, I survived the Titanic (movie) and no, I've never shoplifted the pootie.
Hugo Mallard @HugoMallard
37 Followers 302 Following Comedian. Dandy. Tea lover. Souse. Cravat aficionado.
Brendan James @deep_beige
96K Followers 2K Following Cohost & producer @blowbackpod NO DAYLIGHT out now. Show contact: [email protected]
Donnie @donnie_fairburn
10K Followers 807 Following One time my dad walked in on me making my Ninja Turtles kiss and we never talked about it... @SaddestTiger made my TMNT header
Modern Seinfeld @SeinfeldToday
577K Followers 0 Following What if Seinfeld were still on the air? (Tweets by @JackPMoore and @JoshGondelman.)
hipstermermaid @hipstermermaid
81K Followers 661 Following
Aaron Burdette @AaronBurdette
5K Followers 462 Following Writer/Showrunner • Star Trek: Lower Decks • Close Enough • Inside Job • Man Seeking Woman
Mike Scully @scullymike
101K Followers 3K Following Simpsons, Parks & Rec, Everybody Loves Raymond, Duncanville, Carmichael Show & lots of canceled stuff. Go @lakings!
Danny Zuker @DannyZuker
248K Followers 2K Following Exec Producer on ABC's Modern Family. So many flops. Check out my podcast https://t.co/zp3qqRUeDS
Carrot Facts @RealCarrotFacts
137K Followers 2K Following Carrot is one of the most famous vegetable in the world.
Vintage Vinyl @vintagevinylSTL
18K Followers 942 Following St. Louis MO Local Independent Record Store
The Dollyrots @TheDollyrots
38K Followers 20K Following A pop punk band from Los Angeles, CA, now based in FL. New single “Wrapped In Sunshine” out now!
audrey @AudreySiemer
474 Followers 190 Following i just wanna lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. that's all i've ever wanted.
Diaper Ghost @MoneyDiap
30 Followers 137 Following Every post live from inside the USAF dildo base. Just a AB/DL tryin ta look fly as hell. doin turds. http://t.co/IJTOfxpBcG
crispy315 @crispy_315
7K Followers 252 Following
wife supremacist @thefurlinator
10K Followers 1K Following contributor @theonion • freelance copywriter & video editor • [email protected] • i miss my grandma
Spoonicorn @MrSpoonicorn
12K Followers 123 Following
Uncle Skynyrd @cum_waffles
230 Followers 206 Following im autumn and i dont approve this message, it's all stupid shit I think of at 4AM
Jacy Catlin @ieatanddrink
36K Followers 317 Following Clickhole staff writer. ex-Comedy Central, NBC, Playboy, The Onion. My house burned down.
Bill Fienberg @BillFienberg
2K Followers 1K Following Software Engineer at @shopify | Competitive Axe Thrower | Photographer (he/him)
Cool Eric @OBiiieeee
19K Followers 816 Following i told my dad Sonic The Hedgehog was gay and he ripped the oven door off
wint @dril
1.7M Followers 408 Following welcome to my shit https://t.co/SuXccfQtN7 https://t.co/kHbbE12Ftx https://t.co/uXYQZrfYdk
Beverly Cleary @BeverlyCleary69
994 Followers 579 Following Midnight Toker? No dice, Knucklehead. If it gets your high, cool beans! Have some wrestling singlets here.
galactic snail @gargorle
11 Followers 54 Following I'll get there one day. not too far.. Few lighteyears
Catherine Cerveny @catcerveny
2K Followers 647 Following https://t.co/SFqGfGOVRh THE RULE OF LUCK, THE CHAOS OF LUCK, THE GAME OF LUCK (Orbit). Rep’d by Rena Rossner [email protected]
My Info @KevinforKing
6 Followers 34 Following
Afiya Ali @afiyaali90
105 Followers 30 Following Princess ❤️ Love for others what you love for urslf .. No regrets ✋ Adam SalehTrends for United States
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