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I'm babysitting and already I've screamed "WE DO NOT PICK OUR NOSES ON THE TRAMPOLINE" and "DO NOT THROW THE BELL PEPPER AT YOUR BROTHER" and I'm convinced parenting is just a series of increasingly absurd Mad Libs
✨3✨ Things that moms should never do. 🎥: @NickiMarieInc
I set out a suitcase to pack for my flight later today and spotted my 3 year old crawling inside it to hide. I casually zipped it up, yelled "I'M OFF TO THE AIRPORT, EVERYBODY!", and carried it to the car. I've circled the block twice and my luggage hasn't stopped laughing.
Kids wake up at 5 am to ask us for stuff because they know that's when our wills are at their weakest. Yes, child, take the tablet and watch whatever you want while eating chocolate donuts on the couch, just let me sleep.
A toddler's biggest talent is driving you right to the edge of your sanity and then reeling you back in with the most effervescent show of affection you've ever experienced.
Snack time can cure almost anything. 🎥: greyslittlecloset on Instagram
A toddler's biggest talent is driving you right to the edge of your sanity and then reeling you back in with the most effervescent show of affection you've ever experienced.
I choked on some water earlier and during my coughing fit, my 4yo asked me to be quiet so he could hear the tv. It’s safe to say I should start saving for a nursing home now.
Like running a marathon... all the time. 🎥: fruitsofmotherhood on Instagram
No one has more stories to tell than a 5YO who has just been told it's time for bed.
There are parenting lows and then there's your 9-month-old audibly pooping after you strapped them into the car seat.
Watching a documentary on Ancient Egypt when my 5 y/o stops in front of the TV, drops her jaw and says, “THEY WROTE ON WALLS? You’re not supposed to write on walls!”
Compromises were made. 🎥: oldrocklife on Instagram
My 6-year-old is sick with a cough, so I told him gargling with warm salt water can help. He looked at me & said, "I'm NOT going all the way to the ocean right now."
We really, really tried. 🎥: tealacravy on Instagram
It's funny how toddlers who won't even leave you alone to pee for five seconds become 2nd graders who won't even wave to you in front of their friends. Life comes at ya fast.
My little girl is fiercely independent. She won't even hold hands on a walk because she "doesn't need help!" So when I felt her reach up and gently hold my hand as we walked into the first day of kindergarten I teared up. Then she dragged it across her slimy nose like a kleenex.
Ellen DeGeneres @EllenDeGeneres
74.4M Followers 25K Following Comedian, talk show host and ice road trucker. My tweets are real, and they’re spectacular.
I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids
20K Followers 1K Following freelance writer | content creator | someone once told me I was funny, for a mom | featured on BuzzFeed, Today Parents, HuffPost & more | Read my tweets👇
One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom
14K Followers 941 Following wife || mom of three || perpetually late || relatively unsociable || my tweets ➡️ https://t.co/zTOnobXohj
sonia2504 @Oluwakored74694
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Saada1 @saadatbensaadat
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Ayugu Francis @AyuguF93149
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Chrsl Catalano @UpperPlaygroun
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zain❣️ @SalmaMo37800883
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undefined $DUEL @jerez_silv4593
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Destiny @Destiny58051214
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usman @usman4717832405
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$BUBBLE Hassan Adamu @itzhasan0075
148 Followers 352 Following A Public Administrator, open to learning and exploring other perceptions in life.
Zvonko Markovski @Tiger_Tigerish
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Ikechukwu Augustine �.. @Udehiyke05
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🕹️ $RCADE @RegnarKing80
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blinznation @blinznation
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Walk On Thin Ice @GiantBasket
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nemati.msc @nemati1986s
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Manjunath @Manjuna75055411
9 Followers 187 Following Smart content creator | invest in cryptos, | nft and gaming | investor |
محمود ترابی @mmwdtrby25700
5 Followers 123 Following
EMMANUEL YOHANNA @EMMANUELYO55286
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Kabiru Musa @KabiruMusa08120
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Ali @Ali644199015348
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Nima25 @Nimamombeyni25
38 Followers 329 Following
Faustina Simon @FaustinaSi33484
48 Followers 154 Following My name is respond money and my business is sportybet 🏆🏆 I buy 🚗 instead sportybet and I get 🏠 instead so guys game is lock... Come and collect sure game
Omowumi Oladipupo @OmowumiOla33005
63 Followers 719 Following
ضيف الله اح�.. @AllhDyf12915
15 Followers 90 Following
Soko77 💚 Ventory �.. @Soko77268495
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Chelsea Elise @cheeeelise
265 Followers 533 Following BCBA, Learning Consultant, Organizational Management. And random life stuff because I’m also human and fragile.
Francis Chibuzor @FrancisChi54505
4 Followers 257 Following I'm a business entrepreneur, I deals on land and properties
Abubakar Hassan Idris @abkhidris2
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Aslam @Aslam1560949
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Jc Asti @julius040923
0 Followers 11 Following
Dilnoza Ashurova @DilnozaAsh82925
0 Followers 53 Following
Ellen DeGeneres @EllenDeGeneres
74.4M Followers 25K Following Comedian, talk show host and ice road trucker. My tweets are real, and they’re spectacular.
Simon Holland @simoncholland
171K Followers 1K Following My wife bought low sodium bacon and now I know what it means when someone says they love you but aren’t IN LOVE with you.
Rajat Soni, CFA @rajatisonfnance
2K Followers 5K Following 🎯 I'm the Bitcoin guy 💼 10 years of finance industry experience 🧠 1 BTC = ∞ USD
The Dumb Dads @TheDumbDads
8K Followers 35 Following Evan Kyle Berger & Kevin Laferriere —————Podcast & More 👇🏻
KID QUOTES! @LiveFromSnackTi
12K Followers 209 Following kid quotes submitted from around the world 🌎 submit yours here: https://t.co/CJcAXAsNPH
Not the Nanny @not_thenanny
8K Followers 699 Following Mother and Wife | Joker and Beer-Drinker | Runner and Cheetos-Eater | Snarky and Loving | Slightly Sweary | Come for the laughs, stay for the support
Katie Lowes @KatieQLowes
329K Followers 292 Following #InventingAnna #HowWeRoll #Scandal #WaitressMusical https://t.co/CsNHUxEeZD 🍼🍼 Subscribe to the #KatiesCrib podcast in the link below!
The Webby Awards @TheWebbyAwards
115K Followers 3K Following Honoring the best of the Internet since 1997 ✨ Webby WINNERS announced! Check them out at: https://t.co/EVK4oBUb2F
Melissa McCarthy @melissamccarthy
987K Followers 119 Following
Daily Smile @dailysmile
213K Followers 223 Following There’s always something to smile about. https://t.co/CtatP2eVY9@chorknard @OhBubble Hahahaa I feel like my kids would still manage somehow 😆
@OhBubble @not_thenanny I superglued our AppleTV remote to a colored spatula. Makes it much harder to lose.
Exercising in sync with your cycle sounds like a dream, right? Learn more here: ellen.tv/cyclesyncingwo…
We love a shopping haul! 🎥: ulyandernesto via Instagram/ TikTok
Run, don’t walk. It’s #Slurpee day. 🎥: @KChenoweth
We're torn between C-1-# and B-4-&. You?!
This is so cool!
Parenting can be hard AF. This week, @KristenBell does a mock press conference and talks to @DumbDadPod about how in the game of parenting, you’re mostly losing — but that’s what makes the wins so sweet… and fleeting. Watch the full episode at ellen.tv/moms6
No big deal but we’re on this week’s #momsplaining episode with @KristenBell talking all about the game of parenting !!! Watch it now at ellen.tv/moms6! @OhBubble
@OhBubble @TheEllenShow This little girl is so cute and adorable 🥰
@OhBubble @TheEllenShow I tried doing that to and I nailed it on my first try.
@OhBubble @TheEllenShow Ellen I remember this episode and so many episodes! This one really just melts my heart! ❤🇨🇦
I know you know I don’t have kids, but that doesn’t mean I don’t find them hilarious. That’s why we created a whole new channel all about mom-ing called @OhBubble. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Grab your family, grab your pies, and hold onto your wigs, because tonight’s the first full hour of #FamilyGameFight at 9/8c on @nbc! #FGF @KristenBell @daxshepard
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