OutsideVoices @OutsideDogVoice
Most people imagine what their pets say and internalize those conversations. I put my voices on the outside thanks to my muses, Inky and Atka. Also on Facebook! about.me/AshleyWann Albuquerque, NM Joined October 2015-
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I posted a new video to Facebook facebook.com/OutsideDogVoic…
(Sorry for the hiatus. My best friend and I had a falling out, and if he wasn’t my muse on some of these, they were often meant to amuse him in particular. I’ve had to work on being motivated.) Me: Why is daddy... facebook.com/85228860154572…
Q: I OBJECT TO BEING CONFINED Me: Well the dogs got out of the yard and ran from the cops so we took the pet door away Q: SO WHAT 2 PETS BECOME MORONS AND YOU PUNISH EVERYONE ELSE THAT’S RACIST Me: I suppose you... facebook.com/85228860154572…
My dogs: At the groomers: “oh your dogs are so well behaved and sweet! Atka was such a gentleman and Dozer climbed right up on the table!” At home: Dozer: +tries to eat the neighbor dog’s poop and knocks the... facebook.com/85228860154572…
Me: what are you doing Dozer: JUST GRABBING A SNACK BEFORE I WORK OUT Me: oh, ok—wait get out of the fridge! Dozer: I WAS GONNA SHARE Me: you can open the fridge now?? Dozer: YES DEFINITELY JUST NOW I FIGURED IT OUT AND HAVE NOT BEEN EATING THINGS OUT OF THE FRIDGE FOR A WHILE
Atka: I REMEMBER SOMETHING ABOUT THIS WOODLAND CREATURE WHAT IS IT Dozer: IS IT IT’S STRIPEY FLOOFY TAIL Atka: NO IDIOT ANYONE CAN SEE IT HAS THAT IT REMINDS ME OF SOMETHING Dozer: +GASP+ IS IT THAT IT IS A... facebook.com/85228860154572…
Q: WHY ARE YOU PUTTING ME IN THIS EMPTY BATHTUB WHATS THE MEANING OF TH— OOOOH SPIDER 😼
Dozer: DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK DU—+GASP+ I BET THAT DOG WANTS TO PLAY WITH MY DUCK ... THAT DOG HAS A DUCK TOO LOL WE CANT BOTH HAVE DUCKS ... HERE LET’S PLAY WITH MY DU-OOF Dog discovers mirrors, cats inherit the earth
Atka be one kinda dog and Dozer be another
On Wednesday we drove a long icky hot way to a place that smelled all hit and sticky and full of frogs. And we were camping, said mommy which I didn’t know about until we were doing it. There was danger all... facebook.com/85228860154572…
Atka: AH CAMPING. YOU GET IN THE WATER AND THEN YOU SLEEP IN THE DIRT AND YOU POOP WHERE YOU WANT AND IF YOU BARK PEOPLE SAY GOOD BOY FOR GETTING THE DANGER Dozer: GUYS WATER WAS OK BUT CAMPING MEANS BEING... facebook.com/85228860154572…
Dozer: WHEEE! HELLO BEST FREN BOING BOING BOING Me: Bluggh! Whuh? It’s....it’s...I can even tell time right now Dozer: ALL THE TIMES ARE PLAY TIMES!!!!
Me: Why...why do you have some of a firework? And where is the rest? Dozer: BETTER QUESTION AM I THE BEST BOY YES OR DEFINITELY YES
Me: Aw you’re sitting in the barstool with your paws on the counter like you’re people Q: I’LL TAKE 2 FOODS PLEASE Me: lol Q: YEAH YOU’RE RIGHT WHO AM I KIDDING I’LL HAVE 3 FOODS AND DON’T BE ALL DAY ABOUT IT
Me: So no one is afraid of thunder or fireworks? Are you sure? Everyone: WHY WOULD WE LIE WE JUST LIKE YOU A LOT RIGHT NOW facebook.com/OutsideDogVoic…
Me: Aww, it’s ok Atka it’s just thunder Atka: FCK FCK FCK FCK FCK FCK Q: I WILLFULLY WENT OUTSIDE IN THE RAIN LAND NOW I’M WET AND THAT UPSETS ME Thunder: KA-PPPOOOOW Atka: PLLEEEASE COME WITH ME TO THE CLOSET WHERE IT’S SAFE Dozer: WAKE ME FOR BREAKFAST
Me: Get—what are you—stop eating my face Dozer: DANGER FIRST RULE OF LIFE IS DON’T PUT THINGS IN YOUR EARS Me: ...THEY’RE EARPLUGS
Me: ok guys the basement work starts today Q: YEAH I KNOW I HONORED THE OCCASION WITH A SACRIFICE Me: ...WHAT Dozer: THIS BIRD FRIEND IS VERY SLEEPY
Q: YOU LEFT FOR ALL WEEKEND AND MUST NOT HAVE GIVEN THE SUBSTITUTE SERVANT THE KEY BECAUSE I ONLY HAD THIS GIANT PLATE OF DRY FOOD AND NO WET FOOD AND NO PATS AND NO ONE TO ANNOUNCE THE WEATHER TO IN THE MIDDLE... facebook.com/OutsideDogVoic…
Q: 3AM WEATHER REPORT—RAIN. EXTREMELY...RAIN. ALL CATS SHOULD MAKE THEIR WAY INSIDE 15 MINUTES AGO
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