PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG @PHP_CEO

CEO OF A PHP COMPANY. DISAPPOINTING HUSBAND. DISAPPOINTED FATHER. ETH ME @ 0xdC91bEE94699dF922475f13d1151b9a2A61B39f3 medium.com/@PHP-CEO [email protected] Joined January 2014

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PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG @PHP_CEO

a year ago

HOW IS OUR PRODUCT DIFFERENT FROM THE COMPETITION? WELL THEY DONT MAKE ME ANY MONEY FOR A START

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PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG @PHP_CEO

a year ago

THE PLATFORM TEAM JUST COMPLETED OUR MIGRATION TO K8S AND IT ONLY TOOK SIX YEARS! 🚀 FROM THOSE FIRST LOUD GRUMBLES TO THOSE FINAL MUCH SUBDUED GRUMBLES THE TEAM NEVER GAVE UP

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PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG @PHP_CEO

a year ago

THE BEST DEVELOPERS ALWAYS WRITE MORE CODE THAN THEY READ #HIRINGTIPS

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PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG @PHP_CEO

2 years ago

"LATE CAPITALISM"? I DISAGREE WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED

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PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG @PHP_CEO

2 years ago

I DEEPLY REGRET MY PARTICIPATION IN THE BOARDS ACTIONS I ONLY INTENDED TO APPROVE ORDERING TWO FEWER LATTES THAN USUAL BUT AS IT TURNS OUT THAT VOTE WAS IN FACT INTENDED TO OUST TWO OTHER BOARD MEMBERS

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PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG @PHP_CEO

2 years ago

A COMMON MISTAKE THAT MILLENNIALS MAKE IS TWEETING OUT INSULTS ABOUT THEIR COLLEAGUES IN 140 CHARACTERS PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING: THAT LIMIT HAS BEEN GONE FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS USE THE FULL 280

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PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG @PHP_CEO

2 years ago

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HAPPENS IN A GOLD RUSH OTHER THAN PEOPLE FAILING TO GET GOLD? PEOPLE GETTING GOLD

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PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG @PHP_CEO

3 years ago

NOW THAT CHATGPT CAN TELL ME HOW MANY GOLF BALLS FIT IN A SCHOOL BUS DEVELOPERS ARE OBSOLETE! THE ANSWER BY THE WAY IS EITHER -300,990, 7.5x10^18, OR THREE BUSHELS

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PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG @PHP_CEO

3 years ago

IT IS WITH A HEAVY HEART THAT I MUST ANNOUNCE WE ARE LAYING OFF 20% OF OUR STAFF BELIEVE ME, THIS PROBABLY HURTS ME MORE THAN IT HURTS YOU! PS: IF YOU DIDN'T GET THIS EMAIL YOU ARE ONE OF THE ONES FIRED

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PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG @PHP_CEO

3 years ago

WHY DID TWITTER HAVE SO MANY EMPLOYEES? MY DISCOUNT HAY BALES WEBSITE HAS OVER A HUNDRED FILES AND I ONLY NEED TEN PEOPLE TO RUN IT!

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PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG @PHP_CEO

3 years ago

THIS GUY KNOWS HOW TO SINK A COMPANY

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PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG @PHP_CEO

3 years ago

HI TEAM OVER THE WEEKEND I DECIDED TO DUST OFF MY CODING SKILLS AND IVE ADDED SOME NEW FEATURES! YOURE WELCOME!

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PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG @PHP_CEO

3 years ago

HELLO AND SEASONS GREETINGS! IN ORDER TO CONTINUE SUPPLYING YOU WITH OUR BEST IN CLASS SERVICE OFFERING I AM EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE THAT WE ARE INCREASING OUR PRICES BY 300%

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PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG @PHP_CEO

3 years ago

ELON: TURN IT INTO A GRAPH I'M TOO BUSY TO READ ALL THAT SHIT JASON: HAHA OH OK NO PROBLEM :))))) XOXO

@jason @Jason

3 years ago

ELON: TURN IT INTO A GRAPH I'M TOO BUSY TO READ ALL THAT SHIT JASON: HAHA OH OK NO PROBLEM :))))) XOXO

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PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG @PHP_CEO

3 years ago

I JUST ASKED GPT-3 TO TELL ME A STORY ABOUT TWO CITIES AND IT MADE UP A PRETTY CONVINCING TALE ABOUT THE BEST OF TIMES AND THE WORST OF TIMES PRETTY AMAZING WHAT AI CAN DO THESE DAYS

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PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG @PHP_CEO

3 years ago

SIX MONTHS AGO OUR INVESTORS ADVISED US THAT OUR 36 MONTHS OF RUNWAY WAS EXCESSIVE AND TO INCREASE OUR BURN RATE TODAY IM HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE THAT WE SUCCEEDED IN INCREASING OUR BURN RATE AND ALSO THAT WE ARE SHUTTING THE COMPANY DOWN BYE

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PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG @PHP_CEO

3 years ago

BAD NEWS: WE HAVE TO RESCIND YOUR JOB OFFER GIVEN THE ECONOMIC CLIMATE HOWEVER I KNOW YOU'LL THANK ME FOR GIVING YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO HELP THE COMPANY NAVIGATE THIS CHALLENGING PERIOD BY NOT HIRING YOU SO YOU'RE WELCOME!