Devon @PilotLightIsOut

Nothing more than a little heap of bones at the present minute, no doubt about it. birdmocopter.com Joined January 2009

Tweets

9K
Followers

122
Following

216
Likes

520

Devon @PilotLightIsOut

2 years ago

TO DATE, HOTTEST ADVICE I HAVE EVER RECIEVED "The only thing a helmet does is ensure that your funeral can be an open casket"

0 0 2 71 0

Devon @PilotLightIsOut

2 years ago

hot take, billionaires are just hoarders and the useless shit they're hoarding is money and they need psychological help and maybe a tv show to shame their fucking weird behavior

0 1 5 89 0

Devon @PilotLightIsOut

2 years ago

guys i'm just going to come out and admit it i'm having a really hard time imagining Sisyphus happy

2 0 2 89 0

Devon @PilotLightIsOut

2 years ago

if my phone is so smart, how come i can type into the internet "next time i get a Facebook notification i'm going to buy a gun and shoot up an airport" and i continue to get Facebook notifications

0 0 0 31 0

it's 2023 can we please acknowledge openly that apple is intentionally causing text messages from android phones to take an extra like, 30 minutes to send because they're trying to make android users seem flakey

0 0 0 24 0

Devon @PilotLightIsOut

2 years ago

joined in 2009: pretty quickly accrued ~100 followers twitter burns down in 2023: still sitting at ~100 followers that's called consistency baybee

0 0 0 20 0

Devon @PilotLightIsOut

2 years ago

the most hilarious part of "believing" something is that i don't have to justify it to you and you can think i'm a moron until the cows develop space travel, but it doesn't invalidate my belief

0 0 0 22 0

Devon @PilotLightIsOut

2 years ago

buying fireworks prepares you for buying drugs in a way that only buying drugs can prepare you for

0 0 0 20 0

Devon @PilotLightIsOut

2 years ago

buying fireworks may be one of the earliest and most important experiences in a young man's life where he rolls up to an impermanent establishment with a pocket full of cash and says "price is no object, i'm here to commit felonies"

0 0 3 41 0

Devon @PilotLightIsOut

2 years ago

i would love to give even the tiniest, gentlest piece of negative feedback to Tim Cook because you can just tell he's never heard any at all in his entire fucking life

0 0 0 22 0

Devon @PilotLightIsOut

2 years ago

you may not like it, but the truth is that banning porn is demonstrably, invariably a death knell for any online platform

0 0 0 56 0

Devon @PilotLightIsOut

2 years ago

alright, if you were voting age when the patriot act passed you're in deep shit, don't let me find you

0 0 0 25 0

Devon @PilotLightIsOut

2 years ago

"why is the road closed?" "because we're expecting heavy traffic" SO HOW THE FUCK DOES CLOSING A ROAD HELP Jesus Christ the cops in Sacramento are fucking clinical

0 0 0 42 0

Devon @PilotLightIsOut

2 years ago

I'm at that age where people start a music thread on twitter and i have to scroll for a WHILE before i start seeing artist names i recognize

0 0 0 14 0

Devon @PilotLightIsOut

2 years ago

Twitter, very quietly making people without Twitter accounts unable to view twitter

0 0 0 58 0

Download Image

Devon @PilotLightIsOut

2 years ago

You are a Sacramento driver. There is no traffic behind you. It is 101°. You see a pedestrian waiting at a crosswalk. Do you A. drive by without stopping, or B. Force them to wait an extra 45 seconds in the blazing heat while you slow down, stop, and insist on waving them across?

1 0 2 55 0

Devon @PilotLightIsOut

2 years ago

I'm asking chatGPT for submarine jokes and it's giving me titanic puns, so we know for sure now that bit about "limited knowledge of events after 2019" is total hooey