Paul Mathews – Comedy Author @QuiteFunnyGuy
English comedy novelist 😎📚 Dog Dad 🐶 Cat slave 🐈⬛ Need a good laugh? I'm your man! 😆 See my website for more info on my 13 very funny books ⬇️ quitefunnyguy.com The Amazon Bookstore Joined June 2015-
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Followers12K
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Following13K
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Likes7K
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FIZZI PUP Six years ago today, this small bundle of trouble was born into the world And now he's a much bigger bundle of trouble..! 😄 I bought some cake to celebrate Sadly, it's the human variety, so he can't eat it... But he'll have extra treats instead 😍
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Paul Mathews – Comedy Author retweeted
@SoVeryBritish I find loud tutting, raising of eyebrows, and rolling of eyes always helps when people jump queues. By helps, I mean it helps me. It has absolutely no effect on the queue jumper...
BALCONY LIFE 🌻 After an hour's editing, I'm rewarding myself by sitting on my balcony in the Polish sunshine, kicking back, and enjoying the wonderful peace and... <FIZZI STARTS BARKING> "Stop that nonsense!" <HE IGNORES ME> "Fizzi Mathews!" <MORE BARKING> "Inside, now!"
Paul Mathews – Comedy Author retweeted
Level 1: Relaxed Goose Level 2: Slightly Miffed Goose Level 3: Quite Cross Goose Level 4: Livid Goose Level 5: Violent Goose
⭐️ WEEKEND HIGHLIGHT ⭐️ Kiwi, pear, banana & pistachio pastry-sour beer 🥝🍐🍌🥜 So tasty, you wouldn't even know it contained 5 per cent alcohol 🤪 I'm now something of a beer snob, and won't touch anything that looks like normal beer 😎🚫🍺 Anyway, cheers to you all! 🙂🍻👨👩👧👦
🙂 HAPPINESS 🙂 My full-length comedy play "Happiness" is being performed in Cheshire by the super talented Haslington Players ➡️ Thu 9, Fri 10 and Sat 11 May It's very funny – I promise! 😉 Tickets are available here: ticketsource.co.uk/whats-on/hasli… #Amateur #Theatre #Amdram 🎭
MONDAY COMPUTER UPDATE 💻 I'm currently utilising my extensive, 40+ years of cutting-edge technology experience across multiple corporate & non-corporate environments... By turning my Wi-Fi router off... Then on again... And repeating... Until my internet connection returns!
AUTHOR POLL 📊 When it comes to writing & selling novels, it's a jungle out there (an Amazon jungle for many of us!) So, I was wondering how my fellow authors see the next year or so, in terms of their writing careers 📚 Please ✔️ and ♻️! 👇😎 #WritingCommunity #Author #Poll
TRAVEL NEWS This weekend, it's another train trip for me, Mrs M & the pupstar to see the in-laws Dogs are supposed to sit on the carriage floor... But we bring Fizzi's purple, royal robe, so the conductor realises he is canine royalty..! 😄⭐️🐶⭐️ #DogsOfTwitter #Bichon #King
Paul Mathews – Comedy Author retweeted
@SoVeryBritish The first thing I do when I arrive in a hotel room is say something like "It's not too bad", then I complain about its shortcomings for the next few minutes. As an Englishman, I tell reception everything was great when I check-out.
Paul Mathews – Comedy Author retweeted
Being asked “are we doing anything this weekend?” and getting a terrible feeling you're about to be doing something this weekend.
AUTHOR NEWS ✒️ I'm venturing out of the apartment for a while So, my assistant Lulu is wasting time on the computer – idly surfing the internet, getting lost in Twitter rabbit holes, googling random questions & not doing any writing – on my behalf! #CatsOfTwitter #Author #Life
Paul Mathews – Comedy Author retweeted
@SoVeryBritish "My strengths? I always speak my mind." "Give me an example." "You're an annoying little twerp."
Paul Mathews – Comedy Author retweeted
Honest job interview: “What are your strengths?” “I put a lot of effort into looking like I know what I'm doing”
Paul Mathews – Comedy Author retweeted
@SoVeryBritish "It's good to hear other people's perspectives on this." Translation: I'm right and you're wrong. Now shut up. I want this meeting to end before home time.
Paul Mathews – Comedy Author retweeted
Worth remembering that if you have a relentless hacking cough you can go to your GP, rather than the Theatre
Paul Mathews – Comedy Author retweeted
@SoVeryBritish You need to remortgage these days, just to buy a full set of colour-printer cartridges... 😳🖨
BLOOMING BRILLIANT NEWS I bought a new trowel... And my balcony blooms are now firmly bedded in after some top-level gardening work by me! 🌻🥳🌺 My knees are a bit sore, after all that bending down while filling the pots with earth, but I hope to recover by the weekend..! 😄
PRETTY FLOWERS FOR MONDAY Yes, these are beautiful balcony blooms 🌻🌺 There's only one problem – my garden trowel has gone missing 😱 Look carefully, and you'll see the plants are all still in their pots! P.S. No suspects identified yet in the case of the missing trowel! 😄
Bookaholic Bex @BexBookaholic
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Emma 📚🏳️�.. @emreadsthebooks
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Em 📚 nightreader @em_nightreader
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mylittlebookhome @mylilbookhome
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Karen Louise Hollis -.. @KarenLNHollis
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BookishSam71 📚💙.. @SamSch1971
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catsatwarpspeed 💙�.. @catsatwarpspeed
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BookishSam71 📚💙.. @SamSch1971
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catsatwarpspeed 💙�.. @catsatwarpspeed
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7K Followers 7K Following Book lover, Dog lover, Football fan, School librarian.
Jenn (she/her) @_JennShelton
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Niki Morgan: enjoyed .. @morgannike49
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Mark Amorosi @mark_amorosi
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Jαмєs Pнιlιρs .. @JamesPhi44
3K Followers 3K Following He Loves Sci Fi, Fantasy, horror Tv,movies,Books,v the series Bobs burgers Computer games, comics & more/Nerd! 😎
james scott @jamie2bad2000
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Kevin Earp 🔭🌜�.. @KevinAstrokev
4K Followers 1K Following Cloud dodger, prom chaser, and acoustic finger-picker. Paint the soul, never mind the legs and arms.
Rohan O'Duill Sci-Fi .. @rohan_oduill
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Dr Dr Matt 'Death Met.. @mggtTaylor
29K Followers 3K Following European Space Agency Heliophysics Project Scientist supporting Plasma Observatory, Cluster and Swarm. 501st Dutch Garrison TK67676 EIB.
Nancy @bookishlynancy
3K Followers 1K Following Books are not my whole life but they make my life whole❤️📚❤️📖☕️
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Christina JF 🇺🇦.. @cmjfblue
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21 Followers 106 Following I believe in magic and second chances and can still do cartwheels... Oh, and I write stuff that sometimes gets published. #HumanRightsForAll
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456 Followers 791 Following Father, husband, and aspiring author from a small town in Illinois, where I cultivated my passion for magical worlds beyond cornfields.
Dónal O'Flynn @donaloflynn
3K Followers 5K Following (he/him) Lover of puns. Hater of guns. Supporter of 🇵🇸🇺🇦 Ally to 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
Lynn Hartley @LynnHartley7
55 Followers 121 Following Wife and mother. Music lover. Poet and didn't know it.
Emma 🦩 @emmajaynegg88
67 Followers 302 Following Makes nice cups of tea, crap at getting out of car parks. H&S trainer by profession (still fun to talk to at parties, I promise).
James @jamestaylor1
2K Followers 5K Following Retail IT guy James & Ben @petsastherapyUK volunteers in Hampshire and nearby. Long suffering West Brom devotee.
Claire Wright 💙 @ClaireWrightInd
5K Followers 3K Following Former politician. Caring about stuff ... poverty and nature. Backing Richard Foord to win Honiton & Sidmouth and Paul Arnott for Exmouth & East Exeter #GE2024
Joanne Smith @joanneinchicore
446 Followers 1K Following Minister, married, mostly here for the dogs. And the wolves. The odd otter. I tweet about faith and politics, but only in my head.
Domestic House Panthe.. @vanislewriter
189 Followers 236 Following Law librarian, kid lit writer, mom to one human and one chonky kitty boi, Covid warrior and mask-wearer, spoonie spouse, 12x12 participant
Jenny Hodge @JennyHodge
3K Followers 4K Following Copywriter/PR for Stanley Black & Decker, Humax, Databricks, Aqualisa. Queen, George Michael, Sam Ryder & Adam Lambert fan. RSPCA volunteer. Vegan for animals🌱
Ali @ali_bumgo
566 Followers 1K Following Wife to @m0nkeymafia. IBD CNS, with a passion for critical care. Lover of cats, music and exercise as a semi-successful remedy for anxiety.
Anne M @Mulrain
3K Followers 4K Following Likes people, books, law, music, theatre, cats, travel, London, the EU - and the NHS. No DMs unless I know you.
🌸 Eliza 🌸🦕�.. @home_nextdoor
4K Followers 2K Following ❤ Chatting Royals 👑 the good, bad & ugly 🫖 animals, cute pics 🐨 Not political. Play nice!
Ken W @keninkernow @LeftOldandProud
5K Followers 6K Following Hate what the Tories have done to this country. Proud European. Doing my best to be Green but not very good at it. Wasp champion. 🇪🇺💙 I don’t do DMs
HoppyGreen @HoppyGreen
202 Followers 445 Following Retired from Education. Love Art and Films. Doting mum and Nanny. Hate the Conservative Party . Lifelong Labour voter.
Shuchi Singh @theshuchisingh
43K Followers 2K Following Bestselling Author 📚 | Brand Builder 👩💼 | Saabanvali ✨ Follow for your daily dose of truth bombs. Views are personal.
Sharon Steeples @sharonsteeples
278 Followers 591 Following Into Theatre, Photography, Coding, Cats, Craft Beer and Comedies! DISCLAIMER: My views are my own and not official in any way!
Just Jo @jo_analee
226 Followers 491 Following unsuccessful writer. slave to a truffle hound. no truffles have actually been found…
Libby Cutts aka LC Wi.. @LibbyCutts
2K Followers 3K Following Writing Gothic/Crime/Historical. She/her. Agent @emily_glenister Insta- libbythescribbler B-sky - L.C.Winter
Philippa R. Francis �.. @Philippa_writer
5K Followers 5K Following 'Too much imagination and not enough common sense.' Inkspiller, Editor, Reader. #ViewsMyOwn LOOK @philippa where the sky is blue
Resident of Ravenclaw.. @Christy_Kuri
828 Followers 128 Following Fueled by tea. Lives for good food, books, art, and esoteric interests. Patronus: a platypus. She/her.
John @panicdragon1979
18 Followers 129 Following 45 year old good guy who reads a bit, watches movies and TV, doesn't mind scary stuff or a bit of theatre either. say hello
Kira @kira_clarke
19K Followers 16K Following I write music, poetry, & short stories. I also host #WriteMap prompt.
eleanor draven @EleanorDraven
108 Followers 414 Following ✨Romance (smut) Writer ✨41 ✨She/Her✨Pansexual ✨INFJ✨ Single *wink wink* 💫Read Linked By Ink on Wattpad!💫 https://t.co/1i7TZSi4Ev
Natalie O'Donoghue @Nataliealana87
3K Followers 953 Following Theatre and book reviewer with a love of country music and sequins. Opinions @BroadwayWorldUK @BWWScotland @BroadwayWorld @Netgalley : [email protected]
Russell Kirkpatrick @insanemapboy
303 Followers 123 Following Fantasy author, waterfall photographer, lecturer, Lego lover, map maker, environmental advocate, born at 317ppm
James Benmore @jhenrybenmore
3K Followers 3K Following Author/selfpublisher. Ask for Mercy is out now from Top Sawyer Books and available through Amazon. Also wrote The Dodger Papers and Find the Needle.
Karen has a bad feeli.. @Airstrip_0ne
2K Followers 3K Following One time botanist - full time old bat, cat lady, plant lover, bird watcher, nature enthusiast. Wear a mask.
Vaughan Lovegrove @vonkarama
403 Followers 148 Following Professional procrastinator. Amateur at lots of things. Day job too boring to mention.
Goose Manning @GooseManning15
236 Followers 341 Following Writer, editor, madcap & zany Photoshopper.
John Peach 🇺🇦�.. @JohnPeach3
139 Followers 410 Following Green, gay, opera-loving, ABBA listening, heavy reading, Viking Studies PhD student Dad. Often at stage doors waiting for @pantoboy he/him
Amanda Thompson @MandyC1968
448 Followers 1K Following Mum of 3-retired police & navy-NHS worker-cricket widow-I love singing-theatre-live comedy-rugby-cheese-wine-Coventry-Warks⚓🏉
Donika Mishineva 🎨.. @DMishineva
3K Followers 3K Following ⭐Award-winning #coverdesigner helping #selfpublishing authors build #authorbrand identity with standout 📚 #bookcovers ⭐ #authorwebsites and book promotion.
@QuiteFunnyGuy @SoVeryBritish Used to make me laugh a lot! Ride-on lawnmowers were another favourite....
@QuiteFunnyGuy @SoVeryBritish When they lived in Birmingham 😂 Along with the biggest insult to injury “Let’s have a look at what you could have won!” 😂😂
@QuiteFunnyGuy Wonder if anyone still has one just sitting in the garage. Although saying that, garages in Britain aren’t big enough for actual vehicles.
@QuiteFunnyGuy @SoVeryBritish Don’t forget to flare your nostrils…
Level 1: Relaxed Goose Level 2: Slightly Miffed Goose Level 3: Quite Cross Goose Level 4: Livid Goose Level 5: Violent Goose
10pm: “So tired, going to bed” 3am and 356 Wikipedia pages later: “Ah so that's why there are holes in Swiss cheese…”
@QuiteFunnyGuy @SoVeryBritish If you were on a party line you could earwig a random conversation too!
@QuiteFunnyGuy that sounds very interesting ! xx
@QuiteFunnyGuy NEPO = OPEN? 🤔Does it “open” your mind when you drink it?😂
@QuiteFunnyGuy If I were free curly, I would let Raquel put in an appearance. Sadly I’m not but maybe another time!
@QuiteFunnyGuy Usually I do a little bit of angry dance to convince it to come back.
@QuiteFunnyGuy You know they say kids are the ones to fix things for their parents when it comes to tech. Why don’t you have Fizzi fix it? 😊 🐶
@QuiteFunnyGuy And the window seat too. Now that's royalty 👑
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