@AP This just in:
Macron Ends Riots With Spending Concessions, Is Forced To Pay For Them With Austerity, Asks Future Rioters To Wait For Next Concession, Overlook Subsequent Austerity
reallybadforeignpolicy.com/story/macron-e…
PARIS — French President Emmanuel Macron announced a compromise Wednesday to end a week of riots across the eurozone’s second-largest economy, telling international media he will make several targeted budget concessions to protesters, including increased school funding and a lower retirement age, in exchange for calm in the streets.
The new spending, he said, will be paid for by future cuts to other politically sensitive programs, which will almost certainly trigger new protests. “But it will by then be someone else’s problem, you see,” he said, scrolling through Lazard’s sovereign advisory job postings on LinkedIn...
reallybadforeignpolicy.com/story/macron-e…
WASHINGTON, DC — The Pentagon announced Monday it was expanding its approved execution methods beyond the firing squad to include the extraction of a condemned prisoner’s still-beating heart...
reallybadforeignpolicy.com/story/pentagon…
The nation’s news anchors, having achieved their high-school weights through GLP-1 therapy, are now trialing a compound designed to produce a permanent rictus smile. The unsettlingly upbeat results are already visible on most major TV networks.
reallybadforeignpolicy.com/story/cable-ne…
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