Shelby Dodson @ShelbyDodson666
Stand up comedian Should've been a cowboy Tacoma, WA Mostly came to party Tacoma Joined July 2012-
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Followers274
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Following422
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Likes490
I'm too poor to write a will. I'm gonna have to write a won't.
FDA approved? Sorry, the only three letter agency I trust is the WWE
What's the deal with famous people named Michael Richards saying shit they shouldn't?
Due to inflation @THAREALYUKMOUTH and @NumskullofLuniz now have ten on it
It's not premature ejaculation I'm microdosing sex
Yo, fuck toxic masculinity. I just had my first candlelit bubble bath. It was the most relaxing shit on earth, and I've tried heroin.
Can you buy flavored lube with EBT? Asking for a friend
A group of drunk white women is called a "heard" Because they're loud af
Flies on Pence Patron on ice And we can pop bottles all night
Well, I finally tried phone sex Now my phone smells like shit
Waitress: what would you like to drink? Me: Coors Light, bottle Waitress: we have Pepsi products Me: okay, Bud Light then
The whitest thing you can do is lie about being part Native And I'm saying this as a person who dips his fries in mayo
After a lot of work, I'm very proud to announce my Debut Comedy Album; Hardcore Softy Buy The Album: HardcoreSofty.com #HardcoreSofty #StandUp #Comedy
It's funny that the coronavirus is named after a Mexican beer Because it took our jobs
I'm here to wipe ass and use toilet paper And everyone's out of toilet paper
Lead singer of deathcore band Luna Shore, CJ McCreery, has been outed as a sex offender. One of the things he's been accused of is peeing on a minor. Does that make him Rawr Kelly?
The battle happens on Sunday! Ya don't want to miss this show! 🔥LINK BELOW FOR TICKETS🔥 spokanecomedyclub.com/events/29088 @josh_firestine @ShelbyDodson666 @adamluckey92 #roastAMANIA #roastbattle #roast #SUNDAYFUNDAY #comedy #standup #standupcomedy #comedy #standup #standupcomedy
If you're around @RockTheDockPub in #Tacoma #tonight check of @ShelbyDodson666 and @NarinVann dropping the #funny around 8:00. #local #comedy
Lil Nas X came out as gay. He took Old Town Road up to Brokeback Mountain.
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The President tested positive today for being a hoax.
My friend dumped her boyfriend and threw a tub of cleaning wipes at him because he Lysol the time.
After a lot of work, I'm very proud to announce my Debut Comedy Album; Hardcore Softy Buy The Album: HardcoreSofty.com #HardcoreSofty #StandUp #Comedy
@MrJeremyHorn @admiral_pizza Same vibe.
@RoundTablePizza Your support in this difficult time means everything. Guess where I'm going for dinner tonight?!
@MrJeremyHorn The ratio is all off. There is simply not enough pizza!
Aaand... Y’all getting tickets to comedy this year. I’m done shopping.
Found out about this just now. A #openmic is always fun to attend. I hope @ShelbyDodson666 and @NarinVann will perform at this!?
The battle happens on Sunday! Ya don't want to miss this show! 🔥LINK BELOW FOR TICKETS🔥 spokanecomedyclub.com/events/29088 @josh_firestine @ShelbyDodson666 @adamluckey92 #roastAMANIA #roastbattle #roast #SUNDAYFUNDAY #comedy #standup #standupcomedy #comedy #standup #standupcomedy
Starting in about an hour! If you're in #Tacoma come down to @RockTheDockPub and watch @ShelbyDodson666 be funny!
If you're around @RockTheDockPub in #Tacoma #tonight check of @ShelbyDodson666 and @NarinVann dropping the #funny around 8:00. #local #comedy
Me: how nice was their house? @ShelbyDodson666: Pretty F***in ----------- I have new favorite unit of measurement now
Anyone mad at me for saying Louie performing was cool, I’m sorry I’ve forgiven him for endorsing Hillary.
I’m jealous - #Skankfest is so much fun!!!
@bertkreischer Are you as mad you’re not there as I am?!? First one I’ve missed!
Luis Gomez has created a space and a platform where he doesn’t have to cater to empty network suits and outrage peddlers who want to sanitize comedy. Pay attention to what he did. It’s more rewarding than being a shill.
You know what doesn’t cure a hangover? Reading angry tweets indoors on a beautiful day
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