Terry Vaugh @TerryVa7

Your average guy, I like football, cars and making pies. GO BROWNS! (Ya I know) Joined November 2016

Tweets

105
Followers

384
Following

380
Likes

110

Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom

10 years ago

My 4 year old spilled water on his bathing suit, so he can't go in the pool until he changes and this is why vodka is a thing.

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🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 @3sunzzz

9 years ago

My husband surprised me by taking today off. Now I have to pretend like I do dishes and laundry and shit while he's working. My Friday is ruined.

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🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 @3sunzzz

10 years ago

"I think this cereal has gone bad." *me drunk, eating Meow Mix*

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Little Greenis @DurtMcHurtt

9 years ago

I seriously doubt this piece of popcorn is a colonel.

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My friend went on vacation and put me in charge of his snake (Which I'm terrified of) and it died. I went to a local pet store and asked if they had a similar looking snake and they did! Anyways I paid $90 for them to not sell it to my friend when he gets back, get a real pet Cam

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brandAn is good @LeBearGirdle

9 years ago

[Dentist waiting room] Me: [chanting] teeth, teeth- Other patients: teeth, TEETH Secretary: [pounding her clipboard] TEETH, TEETH, TEETH!

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Pugnado 🐾🌪 @LuvPug

13 years ago

Sneaking alcohol into work is pretty easy if you put it in your stomach first.

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Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke

9 years ago

When I die I'm having my tattoos surgically removed and sewn onto a jean jacket

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Little Greenis @DurtMcHurtt

9 years ago

Hey, tough guy... *slowly descends into the splits until I'm face-to-face with a toddler* why don't you pick on someone your own size?

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brandAn is good @LeBearGirdle

9 years ago

The name 'earthworm' essentially suggests that there are worms from other planets that scientists haven't told us about

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Sarah Kendzior @sarahkendzior

9 years ago

I don't care that Trump had consensual sex with a porn star. I care that he's been accused by at least 16 women of sexual assault, by his ex-wife of rape, and by a 13-year-old girl of rape -- and that many of these accusers were threatened for speaking out.