Blake Rodgers 🦖 @TheBlakeRodgers
I have a World Record for High Fives. Former curmudgeon writing for @Nerdist, @Dorkly & @CollegeHumor. Current curmudgeon for @batlgroundsaxe archive.nerdist.com/author/blake-r… Chicago via RI Joined November 2010-
Tweets20K
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Likes16K
All these nostalgic "remember the 80s" accounts don't ever mention the absolute all star of everyone's homes growing up
It goes sock, other sock, shoe, other shoe, tie shoe, tie other shoe. It can also be sock, sock, shoe, tie shoe, other shoe, tie other shoe But if it's sock, shoe, tie shoe, other sock, other shoe, tie other shoe? You can't be trusted. You might not even be human.
One of the more annoying things about job hunting is companies saying things like "We challenge conventions & create once in a lifetime experiences through grassroots processes going above & beyond to foster a better tomorrow" & then it's just a place that makes to-go containers
All public bathroom doors should be pull to enter, push to exit. I will not be taking any questions. Thank you.
Love how refrigerators are always like "Been working on some weird new noises you've never heard me make. You busy at 3am?"
No one has benefited more from the legalization of weed than the makers of small kinda nice paper bags with handles
🎶 "Paul F Tompkins Santaria, I got podcasts for you all" 🎶
Planes should have live feed cameras all over them so you can look around beyond the window you're near. Give me front, rear, underneath. Give me tip of the wing facing the cabin so i can see myself in the sky. Give me a amalgam of all of them in VR so i can pretend I'm the plane
GIPHY is a great website known for having gifs of anything you may want in gif form unless you actually want to save or share something as a gif
Cheetos are better stale
I've never been followed by so many hot, horny and totally real women who are inexplicably all really interested in meeting me if i click their links. This new Twitter/X is fucking rad! Thanks, Elon!
Ok. This is blasphemy but... A remake of 'Death Becomes Her' With Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone, Adam Driver and Charlize Theron in the Isabella Rossellini role. Or, gender swapped. Chris Pine, Ryan Gosling, Sandra Bullock and Chris Hemsworth in the Isabella Rossellini role
I can't explain why this makes sense in my brain (it doesn't.) but looking at the clock and seeing something like 1:38 always seems WAY later than if I see 1:40 1:40? I have some time. 1:38? FUCK! It's almost 2!
There's no reason for Jersey Mike's to be as expensive as it is.
People with the worst opinions in politics and human rights think this is the fanciest way food can be served
I know we're not supposed to be working during the strike but I couldn't resist giving this a quick edit pass
I know we're not supposed to be working during the strike but I couldn't resist giving this a quick edit pass https://t.co/xjiWYGBRku
I set a world record 15 years ago. Then wrote about it a couple years ago. High five someone today! cracked.com/article_30503_…
I think @CheesyVelveeta should come in a squeeze bottle. That is all. When developed, please send me a years supply.
Alex Schmidt 🦬 @AlexSchmidty
19K Followers 2K Following comedy writer & podcaster, @jeopardy winner, bison emoji creator, good website haver. I make ✨@sifpod✨
David C Bell @MovieHooligan
17K Followers 2K Following Horse expert. Host & Co-Owner of @GamefullyUn. Head writer for @SomeMoreNews. Co-host of @BestBadMovieEv. Former editor for https://t.co/vl8V8Wayes.
Vanessa Guerrero @nessguerrero
13K Followers 2K Following Horror dork. Formerly at @kickscreampod @g4tv @aots @elrey Currently @GameGrumps 🇬🇹 🇸🇻 🏳️🌈 she/they
Fike Meeney @FikeMeeney
726 Followers 990 Following Can you translate for dumb guys who might also be a little drunk? - LT. Gordon Malloy 🖖
Andrew Lawrence @ndrew_lawrence
70K Followers 4K Following Deputy Director of Rapid Response @mmfa but views here are my own - 99% of RTs are endorsements
Meatball Ben @TeeVeeBen
881 Followers 653 Following First of His Name, Grognard Emeritus, Gamer Dilettantes, Hoosier Expatriate, Alebane, Paterfamilias of House McShane and Their Nine Feline Wards. He/Him.
Secretly Incredibly F.. @SIFpod
3K Followers 733 Following A weekly podcast about the history, science, lore and surprises that make everyday things secretly incredibly fascinating. Proud member @maxfunhq
Malik 🎤 @Malik4Play
25K Followers 2K Following Evolving takes work | Father | Founder of NMG | #Elgatopartner | Work featured on @Nerdist, ABC,TBS, @ESPN, @IGN & more biz: malik(@)newmeta(dot)gg
𝚂𝚑𝚊𝚠𝚗 .. @shawnwrites
2K Followers 1K Following He/Him. I like ska, pizza, and comics. Writer: Features, TV, Comics, co-wrote that Home Alone Google Commercial CCO: @bunnyearsweb Podcast: @ohmrsheffpod
👾Rani Timekey Bake.. @destroyed4com4t
11K Followers 10K Following Destroyed For Comfort. Sad But Funny. I used to work for Macaulay Culkin. Award winning game dev, writer when I can get it. ROM hacks: https://t.co/whyUnAZB49
Shelby @baadumching
315 Followers 1K Following TV enthusiast, cat apologist, amateur baker. She/her. @baadumching on insta & threads and https://t.co/imL0eyAqqg ✌🏻
Pefethoa @pefethoa70700
41 Followers 2K Following
Waghoason @waghoason431
60 Followers 2K Following
Zephyr_Zoom @ZoomZephyr56507
65 Followers 2K Following
Olivia Jadee @OliviaJadee8
6 Followers 126 Following If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything.
Gaia @Gaia29125710720
21 Followers 2K Following
Avon Johannes @AvonJohann9127
55 Followers 3K Following
Barbara @barbara_strohma
713 Followers 3K Following
jayneamber @jayneamber65708
973 Followers 1K Following
Elyse Winters @WintersEly15196
127 Followers 3K Following
Lilyana Hunter @LilyanaHun25228
97 Followers 3K Following
Wilda @wildaedwards70
201 Followers 3K Following
Dorothy @dorothy_sprinkl
227 Followers 3K Following
RockyBolante @BolanteRoc20310
143 Followers 2K Following
Leni Riehl @LeniRiehl31347
0 Followers 20 Following
Vella Balsiger @VeBalsige
32 Followers 5K Following
Joanna Beaudin @BeaudinBeau
45 Followers 5K Following
Pedesheer @Pedesheer187220
5 Followers 1K Following
Latia Gachupin @gachu_lati
68 Followers 5K Following
Louanne Mccarthey @MccartLouann
71 Followers 5K Following
Khaleesi Mckillip @KhaleeMckil
75 Followers 5K Following
Elva Mire @ElvaMire71025
92 Followers 5K Following
Hanna Morse @hanna64876
85 Followers 5K Following
Imogene Pascale @ImogenePas79127
66 Followers 5K Following
oehoso533dgvjlz @oehoso533d18457
13 Followers 97 Following Studied crypto I'm in https://t.co/yw5eIDKBOu last year, earned over $2M, achieved financial freedom, This has enabled me to kick-start my global travel plan!
Chris Rubertone @Rubes223
21 Followers 677 Following
Eleni Hitz @EleniHitz26561
65 Followers 5K Following
Serafina Heiney @HeineySera6792
66 Followers 5K Following
Myrl Overly @MyrlOverly97617
58 Followers 5K Following
Marlys Sefcheck @MarlysSefc42110
83 Followers 5K Following
Farrah Daly @DalyFarra
58 Followers 5K Following
Maricruz Saffold @maricruz90895
87 Followers 5K Following
Beau Blumenschein @BeauBlumen30256
57 Followers 5K Following
Arline Courrege @ACourreg
75 Followers 5K Following
Alva Brosnan @AlvaBrosna21244
84 Followers 5K Following
Marget Lambiase @marget72636
73 Followers 5K Following
Tennille Creque @CrequeTenn74112
88 Followers 5K Following Bulgaria // Tennille💙 // TOP4.51% OnlyFans
Kanisha Arisa @ArisaKanis91756
69 Followers 5K Following
Lolah Hilpert @LolHilpe
72 Followers 5K Following
Ayesha Grundy @ayesha71646
88 Followers 5K Following
Taryn Jungen @TarJunge
88 Followers 5K Following
Nimrat Banse @NimratB39367
74 Followers 5K Following
Laurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
106K Followers 6K Following Comedian / Emmy-Nominated & WGA Award-Winning Writer / Seen on After Midnight, Conan, Corden / NYT Best Selling Author / "Cis Woke Grief Sl*t" out now.
Alex Schmidt 🦬 @AlexSchmidty
19K Followers 2K Following comedy writer & podcaster, @jeopardy winner, bison emoji creator, good website haver. I make ✨@sifpod✨
Michael Swaim @SWAIM_CORP
62K Followers 951 Following A real hoopy frood you should sass who knows where his towel's @. Small Beans | IGN | Cracked
Drew Magary @drewmagary
173K Followers 559 Following Columnist: @DefectorMedia, @SFGate. He/Him. The Night The Lights Went Out is out RIGHT NOW. Everywhere. https://t.co/alxOZ3ud7i…
David C Bell @MovieHooligan
17K Followers 2K Following Horse expert. Host & Co-Owner of @GamefullyUn. Head writer for @SomeMoreNews. Co-host of @BestBadMovieEv. Former editor for https://t.co/vl8V8Wayes.
Catrina, Ventress Cor.. @ohcatrina
17K Followers 3K Following She/They. Latine. Writer, Producer, Performer. / Asst. Producer @LookingforLeia / Lua on @UnwaveringForce /🎙️ @whatsglup @PodroPascal #InTheCantina
Vince Mancini @VinceMancini
36K Followers 2K Following Writer/podcaster. Movies, food, Sopranos. Formerly Uproxx, currently GQ. Founder of Filmdrunk, the Frotcast, and @podyourselfagun. [email protected]
Kelly Knox @kelly_knox
19K Followers 682 Following ⟡ author of MARVEL MONSTERS, BE MORE OBI-WAN, STAR WARS: DAD JOKES, and more ⟡ writer @StarWars @Crunchyroll @DCOfficial ⟡
Cullen Crawford @HelloCullen
45K Followers 2K Following husband to nine father to a beautiful Christian marine son to a wife father (all that matters) marine to a beautiful son comedy writer but TO WHAT END?!
Vanessa Guerrero @nessguerrero
13K Followers 2K Following Horror dork. Formerly at @kickscreampod @g4tv @aots @elrey Currently @GameGrumps 🇬🇹 🇸🇻 🏳️🌈 she/they
Fike Meeney @FikeMeeney
726 Followers 990 Following Can you translate for dumb guys who might also be a little drunk? - LT. Gordon Malloy 🖖
Andrew Lawrence @ndrew_lawrence
70K Followers 4K Following Deputy Director of Rapid Response @mmfa but views here are my own - 99% of RTs are endorsements
Meatball Ben @TeeVeeBen
881 Followers 653 Following First of His Name, Grognard Emeritus, Gamer Dilettantes, Hoosier Expatriate, Alebane, Paterfamilias of House McShane and Their Nine Feline Wards. He/Him.
The Wieners Circle @TheWienerCircle
33K Followers 8K Following Serving up our famous char dogs, cheddar fries, and insults since 1983. Come check out our new bar/venue and dogwalkers deck 2622 n Clark street chi city
Dan Hopper @DanHopp
11K Followers 609 Following Writer of TV and most of the internet. Never not making this exact expression. Sports takes at @danhoppops
Triumph® ᴛʜᴇ ɪ.. @TriumphICDHQ
83K Followers 96 Following Official thing of long-named Conan staple & host of "Let's Make A Poop" podcast plus "Election Watch" specials on Hulu. It/it. Self-important musings marked RS
Secretly Incredibly F.. @SIFpod
3K Followers 733 Following A weekly podcast about the history, science, lore and surprises that make everyday things secretly incredibly fascinating. Proud member @maxfunhq
Edith Zimmerman @edithzimmerman
14K Followers 974 Following Working on this newsletter: https://t.co/ZIrhV3UCwn Also @thesmallbow, formerly @TheHairpin, @TheCut, @spiralbound.
Pearse Anderson @PearseAnderson
1K Followers 1K Following TTRPG designer, @zenithcoop mentor. Words in @guardian, @wired, @verge, @foodandwine, @teenvogue, @i_D more! 24 he/him. [email protected]
douglas rushkoff @rushkoff
58K Followers 914 Following I'm off for now. This platform no longer tends to engender productive conversations. Website: https://t.co/saXVwJz1Zy Mastodon: @[email protected] Bluesky:@Rushkoff
Alex Fernie @FernieCommaAlex
9K Followers 955 Following I perform at UCB, write/direct things like Childrens Hospital, Bajillion Dollar Propertie$, Hotwives of Orlando and I drink milkshakes. Now you know me.
Homer’s Best Bits @HomersBits
103K Followers 10 Following Homer’s Best Bits From The Simpsons. DM For Requested Clip. Run By @Richard_6677
𝙼𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚗 .. @TheMeganDuffy
4K Followers 666 Following TeacupHuman. Plays pretend for a living. @fearinitiative'𝚜 Rael, Erica on @SHO_TheAffair, Lucie in Maniac & lots more.
Darn Tough Vermont @DarnTough
32K Followers 1K Following We make socks. We guarantee them for life, unconditionally. What does that mean? Give it a try.
TizzyEnt @TizzyEnt
586K Followers 2K Following Director & Editor for TV, Films & Music Videos. Winner of things you’ve never heard of. Project Greenlight Greenies nominee.
Game Changer 🪄 @GameChangerSam
79K Followers 80 Following 🏔️The game show where the rules change every show. 🏖️New episodes every other Monday on @dropout 🍋Only on @dropout
Skyler Higley @skyler_higley
26K Followers 997 Following standup/staff writer @midnight. formerly CONAN, @theonion.
The Debt Collective �.. @StrikeDebt
101K Followers 11K Following The nation’s first debtors’ union, organizing to build power with debt as leverage. You are not a loan! Press: [email protected]
Paul Sun-Hyung Lee @bitterasiandude
102K Followers 13K Following Father. Husband. Actor. Writer. Geek. Iroh on ATLA. Carson Teva on The Mandalorian. 3x Canadian Screen Award winner. 📸 IG: @angryappa YT: Bitterasiandude Inc.
Charles Preston @_CharlesPreston
32K Followers 2K Following Community Engagement for @InjusticeWatch. Co-Host of @hoodoisie. Member of TEMBO. #SaveCSU. I collect things.
Grosdoriane @Grosdoriane
5K Followers 986 Following emo till I die. Follow for more tweets that I tweet.
Jenny Nicholson @JennyENicholson
314K Followers 467 Following video maker • pro gamer • #1 avatarhead na'vi nation zola‘u nìprrte’ • sonic fans don't interact
open michael eagle @Mike_Eagle
72K Followers 3K Following @previndustries | @autoreverserecs | @stonyislandpods | @merch_engine another triumph of ghetto engineering. ig: open_mike_eagle
Jonathan Harris @countrycaravan
2K Followers 2K Following Producer and writer for The Internet's Some More News. The voice of "Jonathan" on Even More News.
Ginny Hogan @ginnyhogan_
165K Followers 6K Following thank you for bearing with me, links to everything below
Brandon Johnson @Brandon4Chicago
46K Followers 859 Following Husband, father, teacher, and the 57th Mayor of the City of Chicago. Political account. Follow @ChicagosMayor for government account.
James Shakeshaft @JamesShakeshaft
2K Followers 2K Following 'slightly clever-dick comedy' - London Is Funny Of course I have a podcast @loremenpod he/him or 'e/'im to cockneys https://t.co/mvEOpjgbHR
Middle Brow Beer & Wi.. @MiddleBrowBeer
2K Followers 664 Following and bread. … plz no more california songs. or clever dudes.
Robert Peters @RobertJPeters
10K Followers 2K Following 13th District State Senator | Senate Black Caucus Chair | An organizer fighting for public safety for all, not a few | Cash Bail Has Ended | Pronouns: He/Him
Portillo's @portilloshotdog
29K Followers 273 Following Official account of Portillo's Hot Dogs. Home to America's favorite Chicago-style hot dogs, Italian beef, salads, and chocolate cake. 🌭🍟
Stephanie Skora @Stephanie_Skora
5K Followers 628 Following Trans Jewish Lesbian. Virgo, organizer, speaker, #GirlIGuess writer! Oy gevalt. She/her #BlackLivesMatter #FreePalestine
Tim Seeley, O-02 in A.. @HackinTimSeeley
37K Followers 1K Following Comic Artist & Writer : LOCAL MAN, BRAVE & THE BOLD 13-16. Perpetrator of Hack/Slash, Revival & Money Shot.
The Tennessee Holler @TheTNHoller
207K Followers 132K Following ALWAYS YELL THE TRUTH. Lifting up voices and shining a light on injustices in Tennessee. (DM with story tips!) CASH APP $TNHoller or CHIP IN at the link👇🏽
Ben Ustick @BenUstick
3K Followers 1K Following Cat stuff @offcolorbrewing. Married into @superdawg. Rhode Islander in Chicago. Craziest cat lady. Badger. Sommelier. But for cheese curds. *purrsonal opinions*
Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse
137K Followers 3K Following •America’s Stepdad•@jortscenterpod•alt @wapplehouse•
amanda 🐢 @noturtlesoup17
62K Followers 2K Following she ruins lives -@NickJFuentes | leftist propagandist -@mschlapp | check out her nose...profoundly dangerous. -@Michael_Yon | known leftist troll -@nyyrc
Kat Abu @abughazalehkat
211K Followers 1K Following I watch Fox News so you don’t have to. | @mmfa | 🇵🇸 | views are my own
Respectful Memes @RespectfulMemes
1.9M Followers 5 Following #1 Source of Memes to show your Grandma
Rep.Kam Buckner ✶ �.. @RepKamBuckner
9K Followers 651 Following B’s Husband. Kas’ Dad. God’s son. Chicagoan. IL State Rep. Assistant Majority Leader.
Comedy Bang Bang Out .. @CBBTV_NoContext
10K Followers 4 Following comedy bot bot | the tv show not the podcast | posts a random set of screenshots or a video from CBB every 6 hours | you should send suggestions to @micolithe
But With Raptors @ButWitRaptors
119K Followers 1 Following @actionmoviekid and @awakeland3d put raptors in things. Somehow Tom Cruise is also involved Watch #VFXandChill every Friday at 10am pacific at https://t.co/Ypi3tXDhiF!
Kids in the Hall @KITHOnline
62K Followers 284 Following Official Twitter feed for legendary Canadian comedy troupe Kids in the Hall. New episodes streaming now on @PrimeVideoCA! #KidsintheHall
Daily Muppet Sketch @muppet_day
4K Followers 239 Following Showing off your favorite muppet sketches one day at a time including songs and commercials account ran by @warwright125
🏳️⚧️ The .. @MuppetNo
5K Followers 524 Following Muppet Fandoms resident fandom historian (Tori she/her,20, not affiliated with Disney, Sesame, or Henson) #MuppetFanHallofFame #Muppetwtawards PFP @shanecny
BIG DIPPER @BigDipperJelly
26K Followers 1K Following MUSIC streaming VIDEOS on YouTube Sloppy Seconds Pod w/ @fatdragmeatball Bookings - [email protected] https://t.co/xnzj7BZIKR
ladies and gentlemen,.. @CraigWeekend
578K Followers 1 Following daniel craig reminds you that the weekend is here, every friday evening
Best Movies Never Mad.. @NeverMadeFilm
9K Followers 620 Following Podcast. @StephenScarlata (Jodorowsky’s Dune) and @JoshMillerLite (Sonic the Hedgehog, Violent Night) discuss interesting movies that never got made
very tall bart @TallBart
83K Followers 1K Following why is bart so tall? boyfriend: @cabinworm check out: @transpanicblog
Matt Lieb?? @mattlieb
54K Followers 2K Following Jewwwww, Good @Mythical Morning, Emmy Winning #StarWarsShow, Co-Creator of Newsbroke @AJplus. Shill on Frotcast & @PodYourselfAGun and Bad Hasbara @mostmoralpod
If you need me, you can: Watch me: YouTube.com/MaggieMaeFish Check me out: Instagram.com/Maggie.Mae.Fish Patronize me: Patreon.com/MaggieMaeFish Follow me: TikTok.com/@MaggieMaeFish Whatever this is: bsky.app/profile/maggie…
I haven’t even tasted this yet. But it’s my new favorite beer.
New Year Round Beer coming later this month!! Crispy Beer for Pizza, our new Italian lager, pairs perfectly with all the pizza. Tavern cut or deep-dish. Detroit or New York. Neapolitan or New Haven. Home Run Inn or Stouffer’s French Bread. Squares or triangles. You get it.
pancakes/divorce/pancakes is one of our culture's most substantial achievements
I just can't stop looking at this picture and giggling. What a gift for me today.
I love this place and the people from it!!! 😂😂💪🏾
This is why Marina has been absent from streams
SURPRIIIIIISE! Pregnancy is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done, but also the most rewarding. @startthemachine has been a ROCK STAR, taking such good care of us and working hard as ever. I’m so grateful to you, my love! We have another scan tomorrow, might find out the sex!
Every guy who buys this truck thinks he gets Fight Club but doesn't.
This is the sound of my soul.
...I need to be stopped.
I love that I have to restock super niche Chicago stickers
@TheBlakeRodgers Oh no! You mean to tell me that Hildred Regensburg is cheating on me??? 😩
Unless the next words out of this ghouls mouth is calling for a ceasefire I don’t want to fucking hear it.
We don’t have to choose between defending Israel and aiding Palestinian civilians. We can and must do both.
I firmly believe Tom Hiddleston's #Loki is one of the greatest characters to ever grace the screen. The range, the depth, the stunning character arc he's had, we're lucky enough to get to take it all for granted. But what he's made of this character is legendary, magical stuff.
So then why are we endorsing collective punishment?
The vast majority of Palestinians are not Hamas. Hamas does not represent the Palestinian people.
I don't know what's going on with me but I want to eat the Switzerlands.
How many Switzerlands fit in Brazil
It’s either made in Chicago or made better by Chicago. Shout out White Castle 💯🫡
Since Elon Musk took over “fentanyl” and “Jordan Peterson” are the only trending topics all day every day
I know we're not supposed to be working during the strike but I couldn't resist giving this a quick edit pass
Real Time is coming back, unfortunately, sans writers or writing. It has been five months, and it is time to bring people back to work. The writers have important issues that I sympathize with, and hope they are addressed to their satisfaction, but they are not the only people…
Two part question. What are you ordering? What did I order?
Hey it’s me, the guy in your replies who thinks you might’ve missed the obvious, less funny version of the joke and is hoping to strike it big!
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